Hi Tog, and thank you.

No he can’t go Pro Se at this point because his lawyer has “funded” him her services over the last almost year- so to go Pro Se he would have to dismiss her and to do that he needs to pay her off- right now he owes her almost 30k. Why she has done this for him is because the ex is such a nightmare and within the last few years it cost him almost 100k to fight to see the kids and to have them in our lives (which btw has not been successful because of her not obeying CO’s and just flat out refusing to and the courts not having steep enough penalties and consequences). We checked if we could go Pro Se and can’t- we have also been told that filing for contempt is not wise without a lawyer (according to a friend of mine who is a lawyer).  So we are in a bad situation and stuck. 

There was a lot of equity in this home and after paying off lawyers and between them splitting up past debt (finally!!!!!!) we will possibly still be in the hole. This woman is so stupid, I honestly don’t know how someone can be so dumb- she is all about $, but she is even more about causing a fuss. When she gets fined it comes from her portion of sale. If she would have just cooperated she would have walked away debt free and with $ in her pocket- now she will have nothing. And she doesn’t work (shocking, I know),

i think what she wants now is to be physically removed by the courts/sheriff so that she can make a huge scene in front of the kids. I think that is actually what her goal is.... delay even more as long as possible and then create a HUGE scene. So I guess all in all it doesn’t matter if DH has his locks changed and goes that way? She will just prob break in and wreck the house.... but she will most likely do that either way. 

No matter what it will be the show of the century. She has soooooo much child support that comes her way anyways, so she can afford to rent an even nicer place- but she  wants the free place obviously, and the drama. 

I told DH when this started that it would be a long road and would end in them having to forcefully remove her.... and that is exactly what is happening.  She said she agrees to the agent coming next week but keeps bailing last minute, and his lawyer said that this is the last time before they do something about it. 

So pretty much I’m bracing myself. Tog, honestly I have never seen anyone have it this bad with a GUBM.... this one is queen GUBM, and has pulled all the stops!!!!! She is volatile, and aggressive and disgusting and cruel..... BUT still turns around and plays victim to people she knows- makes up the craziest stories I have literally ever heard.  Honestly she should not have these kids, she is fully unstable...but we just can’t do anything about it.

i am actually *normally* a feminist and used to think it was usually the dad’s “fault”..... even when I was first with DH I thought he was most likely exaggerating and all the “there are 2 sides to every story”— until I witnessed first hand this vile behaviour and how truly horrible GUBMs are.  Before I used to take people’s word when they said the dad was a dead beat or “abandoned” his kids.... now I see a whole other side to that and when I hear someone say that I usually assume they are alienating GUBMs.

That has been a thought as well.... just get DH to claim bankruptcy and let the house foreclose. It is only his name on it. I have perfect credit so we could get by on mine.  I’m not sure what is worse paying another $5k-???k to the lawyer to get her out or DH taking the hit with credit. 

But yes she needs to get the frick out and we need this liability gone from DH’s name. 

So many other issues with it too.... like if someone is over and hurts them self there we could be sued!!! Wear and tear and depreciation on the house- certain she isn’t upkeeping it. What if a pipe bursts or there is a huge leak? We would be the ones paying. Interest rates are up and have to renew soon too..., have to get rid of this somehow.