Hi, everyone!
Hi, everyone! I'm new to this site and I'm glad I've found it.I'm somewhat relieved to see that I'm not the only "evil step-mom" that can't stand the sight of SD. She's here right now, living her disneyland weekend with her daddy, my DH (I'm getting used to the abbreviations...lol)She's 12 but acts like a 4-year-old when her daddy is around. Plus she's like a plant on my couch, all she does is watch tv.I dread the weekends so badly. We started off fine, 4 years ago but her BM is so full of it, she is a real biotch and knows how to manipulate her ex. She always gets her way and I'm sick of everything. I want to stay clear of SD. I really need to open up to someone, this weekend has been HELL for me. I barely got ouf of the "studio" cause I don't want to share anything whenever she's around. The one time I got out there was this kids' channel on TV (that had been on all day long) and I wanted to watch something else. I know it came out the worst way from my mouth, I told my dh I WANT TO WATCH so and so and he got really mad... There are so many things I want to say but my English doesn't help much plus I'm kinda desperate!! I don't know what to do or how to go about it. I know I'd hurt my dh feelings if I told him what I really think but..isn't it pretty obvious already? Why do they have to stay HERE all the time? They'd gone out for a walk in the park but they're back now! PLEASEEEE GO AWAY! I really should do something on my own but I'm going through an anxiety problem that makes it very hard for me to go out. I'm clueless right now. Thank you all for reading this!!!
(I forgot to say last night, while the sd was asleep I told him why he never sticks up for me but he literally managed to put all the blame on me he even said he was being miserable...HE?? What about me?)
i get u! there r no words to
i get u! there r no words to describe the anxiety. u feel like u have no saying, no control over ur own house and ur own life!
ur dh needs to help u with that...if u dont have his understanding it will get worse...
disengage without showing it...
play the game. and u will feel much better. very hard at first but u will get there. good luck.
O dear, I feel for
O dear, I feel for you!Another Disney dad who treats his brat kid like his mini wife and his partner like a kid.This is not right and you are unhappy already with every right to feel so.Is he aware you are deeply unhappy with the way he treats you and allows his daughter to treat you?
Ahhh!!! Thank you
Ahhh!!! Thank you oncechoosetosmile, that's exactly what I thought "his little wifey" I'm afraid he's in denial about how I feel about the whole situation... I will talk to him and about his "being miserable" arghh!! I also thought His HAPPY WORLD IS MY HELL!! How come? Thank you for being there oncechoosetosmile!!!
OMG, thank you sooo much, it
OMG, thank you sooo much, it feels so good to read that someone is on the same place you are! I'll do that, I'll disengage, it's true guiltystepmom anxiety is the worst thing especially if you have a "meowing talking" girl sitting on YOUR couch watching YOUR TV. My DH is clueless now, the kitty girl is gone but I remained here, I don't feel like being with him,he said he was being miserable with me!! I have to think things through and talk to him. I won't be able to tell him that i HATE the guts of the kitty girl but... And I WILL tell him that the reason he feels miserable is because he doesn't know what to do with his little princess when I'm not around (most guys do anyway according to my therapyst)Thank you formygirl, I'll follow your advice as well. Thanks a ton you both!!
By all means do your own
By all means do your own thing. Hanging around complaining about his child's behaviour is the worst thing you can do.
See your doctor and get medication to help with your anxiety. This situation with your husband will make the anxiety worse.
For the record. They all blame us. It is NEVER their fault. And God forbid their offspring would say or do anything wrong, so that leaves US. don't swallow that. It is not your fault at all, it is his and his alone.
she is not the problem. He has created this. He allows his child to manipulate him, and make no mistake, he absolutely knows what she is doing, and he is well aware of how he is treating you. Do not doubt that for a moment. Sure he plays dumb. But he knows. She manipulates him, he manipulates you by playing dumb. Truth is, he is afraid to be her dad and parent her, because if he treats her as a normal child, says no or wait a minute or disciplines her in any way, she might stop seeing or talking to him.
He wants time with her. Let him have it. Go out, have a weekend way with friends whatever. Don't stay there and be ignored or made to feel left out in your own home.
If you want to be at home on occasion. Tell him to take her out. Tell them to go to a movie, whatever, But remember, she did not create this situation. Her father did.
Yes, I will. It's not that
Yes, I will. It's not that easy tho. I'm actually on meds already, the thing is I'm trying not to have so much of it. I have my visits to a psychiatrist who prescribes the meds, I never miss my therapy sessions with a psychologist. I totally agree that the DH issue makes it worse, but sometimes I just can't get out. Thanks for you words, I hope I get stronger asap and do my own thing again!!!
Thanks a lot for your words!!!
Please, it is very important
Please, it is very important that you take these meds EXACTLY as prescribed by your doctor. Do not take mire or less without discussing it with your doctor. Getting away from or resolving this situation is imperative. Continuing this way is really bad for your mental, physical and emotional well being.