hi
Hi, I am new to this site (stumbled upon this while I was looking for advice)
I am hoping to be able to learn from others experience...
I am in my 30ties, mom of 2, step-mom of 1. My stepson is 9, kids are 5 and 3, been with husband for 8.5 years, married almost 7 (before I am labeled the homewrecker, birthmom and hubby for not really an item when she got pregnant, they never lived together...)Most my friends don't have children yet, and none has blended families...so I have no one to compare notes with.
Stepson and I have always gotten along, and all 3 kids get along great as well. Birthmom I have never officially met (she has never asked to meet me, which is fine by me) but she puts alot of stress on my life...constantly wanting more money, more help...she just had a baby (3rd child from 3rd father) and since she can't manage financially because she is off work, she comes up with new needs these days...my mother in law is also Satan incarnated...
I need to know...how do you deal with the baby mamas? My hubby has a super short temper...so if I wasn't always trying to calm him down everytime babymama calls with a new request, he'd have long told her off in the worse way, and since she does not work, she takes us to court on the state's dime (that's how is works in Canada)...but she is so rotten...how do I ignore her?or not let her get to me, or ruin me financially?
just another q...any other abbreviation for birthmom aside from BM? (at work BM stands for bowel movement...can't help but laugh...sorry)
pleasure to meet you, m
more money and more services
more money and more services (medical and other) for ss . Where I live CS is calculated considering both parents income...because her income is never stable, she does not keep a job, her income loss means DH 'S support goes up (plus she gets financial aid so court costs her nothing, nor does her lawyer...) he could ignore her calls, but then she'll ignore him when he wants to see his son...last time he had to get ss with the cops as chaperones...i don't want to do to this again...
yes, the other kids are mine
yes, the other kids are mine and DH's but the court does not count their needs because I have a decent job...I live in QC, CAN (CS is calculated with a table considering a ration of what both parents make...) other kids are considered only if cs causes financial hardships...because I work...it apparently does not...
i know you're right, I just
see i get what you're saying( God how he would love to tell her to call the other babies daddys) but then she starts telling SS about how his dad doesn't help out, and then the kid feels bad and thinks it'S dad's fault he dosen't have what he needs...
In Canada CS is tied to the
In Canada CS is tied to the non custodial parents income, so it's a chart based on what he makes. Section 7 expenses are the extras, music lessons, scouts, hockey, etc.
What does she take him to court for? Unless his income is changing or he's getting bonuses, the only thing she can ask for is more for section 7 expenses.
I'm in QC (the only place in
I'm in QC (the only place in Canada where CS is tied to both parents income, and a ratio of both...the cs chart is based on a combo of both incomes : ex: if one parent makes 75000 and one makes 25000 and they determine a child needs 10 000 for basic needs, the parent making 75000 covers 75% of that amount) Since her income changes (she wants to work less, says she can't work because she has kids, goes on mat leave and since her income decreases she wants him to compensate...in 7 years of marriage she has been on social aid for like 5, now on mat leave) her not being able to hold a job changes her cs. I don't mind her getting cs, my hubby is a stand up guy, it's the reasons she comes up with...we have kids together but because I work, it's up to me to manage (in the words of our family judge) plus the expenses she comes up with (I don't mind the sports, even the psychological help, it's she dosen't mention anything, then sends you a 700$ bill to pay within 2 weeks...like you've known about this, can't you give us fair warning? it's the she sends to bailiff to your work not house that bugs me...) plus her new goal now is to prevent us from seeing SS...that's our new court reason...
Welcome, I hope you find this
Welcome, I hope you find this to be a good place to vent, contribute, and pick up some useful advice from others who are living the blended family dream.
Why would you want to prevent your DH from jerking a very tight knot in BM's tail if she is a toxic breeding for dollars idiot devoid of character? As for the BM acronym, BM is common reference for birth moms in blended family related communities. If it is accurate in both of its meanings then all more karmic justice.
Let your DH protect his earlier relationship child, himself, and his family (you and your children) from her toxic crap and participate yourself. It can be a lot of fun to shred the idiots in the blended family opposition. If they are not reasonable, then they do not earn being treated reasonably so have fun barring her idiot ass right alongside of your groom.
IMHO of course.
Take care of yourself and your family.
Thank you for the welcome, I
Thank you for the welcome, I think I'm just one who tried to avoid drama...but I think you're right (and everyone else who has responded as such) I should let DH respond to her how he sees fit...after some years I might start to realize it's really not my battle... I must have a hard time comprehending how some people find it productive to make other people miserable...