grrrrrrrr (long venting session please bare with me)
I was just scrolling through the internet and seeing what i found and I found this website, I am so glad I found this because as sad as it sounds, I am so glad that I am not the only person in the world that has to deal with the ex wife. I do not hate a lot of people, in all actuality I do not hate anyone, but I do hate her!!! My husband and I have had custody of his 2 sons for the past 3 years. There egg donor as I like to call her, would let her husband hit the kids, and also if he told her to do it, she would without hesitation. For the first year that we had the children, she did not fight for anything, she didn't care if she had the children, or visiation with the children. It was when we filed for child support that all of a sudden she wanted to fight back. we ended up going back to court and she was awarded visitaion, as long as her husband was not there, so she took that, BUT SHE NEVER TAKES THEM!!!!. And when she does take them, all she talks about is my husband and I. So it is at the point where the kids do not want to see her. She is such a b*%##. She really does remind of sibil (anyone who has seen this movie will know what I am talking about) she has different personalities. Because of her, this year alone, we have gone to court 44 times. No Joke! In the past 7 years that my husband and I have been together, she has accused him of shocking his children, molesting them, and beating them. And she has cost of well over 45,000 dollars. If she wants to be a mother, I support it 100% BUT SHE NEEDS TO ACT LIKE A MOTHER, and not like some teenager on a rampage. I could never put them through the stuff that she has, I would walk through glass or fire, before I ever let those children feel the way she makes them feel. Those children are my life and no matter what, she will never ever take that away from me, She might have delivered them, but she will never be half the mother that I am to those children. Please if anyone is kinda in the same spot as me, please get in contact with me, because I could really use some kind of support. SORRY THIS WAS SO LONG....LOL
I feel better now 
I feel ya. take aspirin- its long
Okay well first welcome to the site, everyone here is super friendly and helpful when we can be. I have been a stepmom for 10 years and have a beautiful 14y/o SD and a bio son, one more on the way. My sd is such a huge part of my life, I know what you mean about being the real parent- I taught her to tie her shoes, spell her name, write the ABC's, bathe and the important talks have all been with me. We had visitation (but had SD alot more than paperwork gave us due to BB having such a full life of skanking around) until a few years ago then we asked BB to let SD live with us since SD wanted to, If we kept giving her the $700.00 a month child support it would have been fine but as soon as we only offered to pay it for 3 months after the move (just to give her time to prep for being w/o that income) she flipped and it was not even considered, so we started the legal proceedings- let me just say I wish my life had as much action as she says it does-DH and myself are the worst type of human beings- I didn't like me after hearing what I was aboutLOL-BB pulled out every stop from telling SD we sell dope(where at-work or parent-teacher conferences, our lives are our kids), to claiming a suicide attempt was SDs fault for trying to leave her like everyone else did- especially DH- poor her!(puking into wastebasket), BB turned into her own worst enemy this time with the games, and tantrums and SD is sick of her- we ended the custody battle and were MORE THAN NICE AS EVERYTHING WE HAD TO FIGHT FOR- THE SUMMER VISITS, BEING REASONABLE ABOUT ALL OF IT, WE EVEN ACCEPTED A LAME LOW AS CRUD MONTHLY PAYMENT FOR CHILD SUPPORT CHECKS TOTALING 1,000.OO SHE CASHED KNOWING SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TOO! HOW NICE IT WOULD'VE BEEN IF SHE HAD BEEN ONE-EIGHTH AS REASONABLE FOR ALL THOSE YEARS. BB has made maybe three of these payments which would take her more than 2 years to pay off the grand, has not helped with any medical or therapy bills, or for any thing to be honest-when the battle ended BB did not take visits for 3 months then when she did start it was always running late or try to change the day all the time- we tried to accomodate, then this summer she had 6 weeks available to her and we set up the schedule as to suit her- how nice of us, then BB called screaming that SD was an unruly(bear with me as I can't post the words so have to clean it up- try not to lose the content here) female dog who BB does not give a bowel movement for since SD would not "help" her do a house cleaning(basic slave labor- roaches won't live in her house cause its that dirty) and SD was so selfish for wanting to go hang out with some friends(oh no kids prepping for college group friends- they're up to something- probably gonna plan wich college to go to or talk about majors- rotten good for something future planners!) and called SD alot of names you'd hear on Jerry SPringer as we left with SD obviously in tears, well we talked W/ SD and she said alot of the fight was because SD doesn't like(actually REALLY doesn't care for)her ex-SF who even though is not good enough for BB to be married to is fine to have him around speaking negatively about SD and getting drunk to the point of not controlling his bladder- SD doesn't want to be around him(keep in mind that BB cries to SD when her ex husband would breathe funny, and likely cried to her ex hubby for that disrespectful daughter of hers wanting to live with her father- even though BB still admitted to wanting him through a few months ago- SD shouldn't dare- so it is a self created mess on BB part- right- or are you lost?)
So as this is getting long- DH talks w/BB and they agree that next visit her ex will not be there but BB had to skip the next visit and would not see SD for 6 weeks, but at that visit it would be them alone! That visit came and that agreement flew out the window faster than those roaches moved to a tidier place like the town dump- SD called to tell us that she was not feeling safe and wanted to come home(during battle SD got court ordered right to end visits if "breakdown in communication" occured after BB laid into her and left her crying trying to walk home in frickin'winter) DH calls bb and she has no recollection of the entire no ex conversation and SD was just trying to get away since BB was offering to pay SD to clean(not what SD says) and SD told BB she didn't know how to clean (yeah right everything even my dog picks up his own toys when told!) so she(BB) asked SD if ex could come help her, SD said yes(again SD never had this conversation) all the excuses and crud so we go to pick up SD since the personality we were dealing with was not reasonable that day- and BB came out sreaming yet again-BB doesn't want to see SD anymore and it is all SDs fault and DH doesn't care what happens to BB(yeah act like a psycho treat his kid like crap and he should care? I must have missed that chapter) and of course I am a whore(i am the one he married and has raised both of these beautiful children and done everything in my power to insure they realize they are great kids- no matter what one of their biological parents says, I take lunches to school and never miss a function so when do I have time to do this side business- on the other hand if she(BB) were charging she'd have a pretty nice nest egg) and we drove off during this rant with her still yelling.
BB did call 2 weeks later and left message- Im sorry but- then 7 minutes of how the entire incident was mine and SDs fault and SD did some mean things to other brother(who SD pretty much raised and adores so not likely) and SD isn't right but BB would like to see her- too FREAKIN LATE YOU STUPID THING- SD is so disgusted by the treatment I don't think she'd go back right now for a hundred dollars- SD is 14 and does require some respect even from BB, so now we're going back to court in the next month to pettition for SD to get visits w/ brother and reduce BB to almost nothing since all BB does is try to make SD a slave and doesn't seem to care about SD since SD stopped being BBs meal ticket.
WOW thats alot to say just to let you know I have been there and still have a flat tire and am stuck on the road too.
There is no reaon where logic does not exist
It seems simplistic to me,
It seems simplistic to me, stop fighting for child support. If you want to have peace and this women out of your life, do not keep forcing the issue about the money.
She will be gone and you will have your life back.