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grasping at straws

ccoyle04's picture

BM is grasping at straws. Because SD13 doesn't want to go to Disney World, she claims that DH is turning her daughter against her. Not that it couldn't be because she is a raging bitch. No, that's not it. She claims that because he doesn't force her to call her mother, or visit her on her (not court ordered) weekends (they have no written out custody agreement as far as visitation goes) that he is the reason that their already strained relationsip is falling apart. Now, I can't say that I hate her, or even dislike her, I don't even know her personally to say those things. But, if the woman had any brains, she would know that the relationship between her daughter and I is a solid one, and that if she wanted to resolve some of the things in her relationship with her daughter, she should ask me. I reached out, tried to call her, she never gave me the courtesy of even calling back and saying go to hell. I can't say that I didn't try. I'm not going to bend over backwards to help someone who does nothing but shit on me.

She called the house last night at 7PM and left a message, something like this.....

It's mom....you will call me back no matter what time you get in, no matter how late it is. You will tell me why you are ignoring me and why you don't come home to see me. I will not accept this any longer.

Being a 13 yo girl...would you want to call someone back after a message like that. I wouldn't want to and I am 39! DH called and they talked for a while....she wants to know why she won't call.....(other than what she told me....She's afraid of her mother...what she will say and complain about etc...we can get nothing out of her - she's 13 - one big giant hormone)

northernsiren's picture

What a frustrating situation, I sure as hell wouldn't call back that msg! It sounds like BM is putting SD in the middle, and since she's chosen a side in her mind, namely, the people that AREN'T putting her in the middle, she doesn't want to see BM and have to deal with the guilt trip. I don't blame her one bit.

Maybe as your SD to write a letter? That is sometimes easier, and even if it never gets mailed, a good cathartic exercise!

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

stepmom2be's picture

If my BD ignored me when I called, I might say something to that extent, although I'd certainly try to convey my love and hurt more.