Grammy wants a divorce
DH was on the phone yesterday, talking to his two younger SD's, when they mentioned that since (biomom's toxic family) Grandpa has been falling down a lot and not remembering things, that Grammy is "tired of him and wants to sell the house." SD's then say they looked up the house's location and size on Zillow or one of those sites, and its worth close to a million dollars.
Well this got them all excited sot they kept listing all these different things that "we" could do with the money, such as buying a house on the beach (theirs and their bio mom's favorite place to vacay.) Meanwhile I am vomiting a bit in my mouth while DH says "mmm? and "hmmm okay." He asks SD "Do you think Grammy was just venting or do you think she means it?" SD's said "Well she has been griping about seling the house and divorcing him for years, but.... now he is sick, sooo." (Grandpa is and has been a severe alchoholic for his entire life.)
SD's are saying "We could buy a few houses at the beach and rent them out so we'd have an income." While this sounds like biomom a little, it also sounds like SD's are looking for a way to support themselves after high school without having to work. Grammy is still ALIVE, you know. It sounded to me like they were planning on someone dying soon, saying things like "Well, so and so is like 90 years old, " and "we have lots of property in our family."
What I don't understand is why DH is not taking this moment to remind them that this is not their property, nor did they work for it. This is also not their money to take. If its given, that's a bonus, but if not, they are not OWED a cent. They had better work on their back up plan because I have a feeling biomom will find a way to get her grubby hands on all of it, and she doesn't share well with others. This makes me want to set up my and DH's will right now. I want stipulations that these kids have to have a full time job in order to get monthly payments from our will. If they don't, then the money/house all goes to my nieces.
Hmmm
You might want to send them info on divorce and division of assets as well as how Medicare works in terms of assets and long term care. Property in the family does not equate to assets.
Assets distributed to hide them from Social Security
are recoverable for a number of years after distribution. We distributed my GP's assets as they aged to get ahead of the recovery statute of limitations. We then rotated monthly paying for the delta between their SS income and the retirement home costs. The entire intent was to retain control of those assets so we could keep the quality of life decisions in our/family hands rather than their assets being locked up by the Gov't. Untimately they all had more than adequate resources to provide for themselves for their entire lives with some to spare.
What a bunch of selfish brats
What a bunch of selfish brats. Let's put old, sick gramps out on the street and kill off grammy too so we can get our greedy hands on the money. And the BM is an inconvenience too I guess.
Your DH has missed an opportunity to suggest things like, oh, compassion and generosity and the value of hard work and a savings plan. (Hint: wishing death on a relative is not a savings plan.) I'd be embarrassed if my kids acted like that. I hope the karma bus is on the way to them.
You need a will like yesterday. Don't wait.
Get a will anyway
You guys need to get a will asap anyway regardless of this crazy incident. I believe you have your own child with DH? Do you want those piranhas diving in if something happened to you guys?
HA.. want to know where they
HA.. want to know where they think they can buy "a couple of houses on the beach" for a million total dollars..
They don't realize that perhaps grandpa will be entitled to a nice chunk of the cost.. oh and then grammy needs to live somewhere too right?
This is the same guy who sat
This is the same guy who sat there and told you he was going to "force you" and SD to become friends...so no it's not surprising he didn't have stellar advice for his daughters. I've learned raising your kids to be ignorant entitled people isn't just relegated to the BM.
Just Ick
My SIL has the same way about her...she just eagle eyes my parent's house which is also worth close to that...and plotting like shes going to get a piece of that. My brother would want to sell and I think that Id just want to buy him out.
YES, definitely time to get a will together. You and me both.
I will never understand how
I will never understand how these crappy parents can allow their kids to be such horrible human beings.
Your H essentially validated his kids' covetous, bottom feeder behavior. Niiice. They have no honor because neither parent has taught or insisted on it. And they'll have the same exact user attitude about him.
The assets of the elderly, Wills, estates, etc.... can be testy
topics when the family money vultures start to gather.
My brother and I, mainly his idea, aligned on this many years ago. Our parents Will splits their estate equally between the two of us. A number of years ago my mom decided she wanted a trust split equally between all of their direct decendants. My brother shut that down with mom and dad in a hurry. It never really registered with me. His issue with it was that I have no BKs and he has three which would give him and his kids 80% of our parents estate. Little bro did not think that is fair and his stance is that it is his job to leave an estate for his children.
So, the original Will stands. Mom and dad agree.
Not sure if it's like this
Not sure if it's like this where you are. But here, you can't divorce someone who is sick. My bio grandfather was super ill, his 2nd wife wanted to divorce him, the judge said no. She was required to take care of him. She had the choice to live in his property and take care of him or she could give him a live in nurse. She couldn't live there and put him in a nursing home.
So they maybe be wishing on star and getting zip.
But yeah, the SKs always think they are getting something for nothing. Here as well. Our property together will only be for our child together. Neither of our prior children, will have access to the property. My 3 children (2 mine) will get the life insurance split.
DH and I talked it over and he understands why. The will is being written shortly.