going insane
Back in April I started dating this really great guy, so warm and loving it's scary. He has two girls ages 2 and 7 that drive me up the freakin wall. At first things were fine but as time progressed the 7 year old has become all arguing and fighting and never listens. Im even sure she's started peeing her bed to get back at us. His 2 year old is usually good though she gets jealous when I hug her dad and has a terrible habit of hitting... punched me in the face jard enough to make me cry type of hitting.
I want things to work but my partners kids have pished into being angry and hateful. Our week starts off ok but jumps straight into fighting, like the 7 year old throwing fits so we end up inadvertently being up until midnight everynight. I don't get to sleep well to begin with because of my PTSD, but I'm honestly not sure how much more of this crap I can take. It'd be different if my partner actually parented but he just tunes them out or coddles them.
What the hell am I supposed to do....
Well, better decide if he's
Well, better decide if he's worth the stress, because a little reading around here will show you that it doesn't usually get any better when it starts off this rough. If he isn't willing to parent his children, it's a long hard road to convince him it's necessary, and by then he's no longer worth the trouble he causes.
IMO, the only way this whole stepthing works is if the bio parent is an actual parent, the other bio parent is not insane and trying to make your life hell, and the kids are tolerable. You don't mention the kids' bio mother, but you don't have the other two factors.
I actually had a tolerable skid and a husband who parents, but the third variable, a crazy BM, makes it hellish for me.
I have a few questions...
I have a few questions...
You started dating in April, but it sounds like you may have moved in with him; is that true? How long did you date before moving in?
Have you assumed a "parental role" and if so, has your SO kindof pushed for that?
What is BM like? Sane? Jealous?
Sloooow down. First you say
Sloooow down. First you say you're dating, and then you refer to this man as your partner.
I hope you haven't jumped the gun and moved in together. That's a recipe for disaster, and a dumb thing for a parent to do to their kids.
Just date him... For a couple of years. That way you set things up for successful blending.