Given too much of myself

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Hello Stepmoms/dads,

It has been a LONG time since I have visoted this site. I am 26 SO is 36 I had 1 bdaughter age 8 now and we had a son together age 2 he has bd11 bd8 bs12. We have been together since I was 23....so 3.5 yrs. Needless to say I was green, young and naive. I was a dancer when we met and left that lifestyle to what I now realize with maturity was to help my SO fullfill his lifelong dream. He was unable to get a license he needed for a trade he had fone for 10 yrs due to his record and I had a clean record, cut and young and a very giving and open heart as do most woman that become stepmoms.

For 3 years I never reguarly received a check I didnt even closed my bank account. I gave up my apt and moved in with him. I sold my car because we are in the car business and swap cars often. I had axxess to the business card to spend as I please but always with pernission beforehand or explantion after.

I realized I was being controlled with money. I mean I could pretty much get what I want but it was on his time and on his dime...although I helped him build everything.

Fast forward we went through intense counseling and I was finally able to articulate myself amd have an unbiased person give him their opinion. About 2 months ago I opened a bank accr and he now pays me 500 per week under the condition I treat my postion like a real job because he complained he hated my work ethic and drive. Which honestly I did lack because I realized I was building everyday for him.

I forgot to mention we have been engaged 2 years, but he has yet to get a divorce from his wife who abandoned the kids 3 years ago and abandoned him and had a child on him 9 years ago. Why I dont know. He was supposed to get a divorce so many times and he challs it up to money however money is never an issue. His account is hefty.

So once I started getting a check my plan was to get my real estate license and branch off to do my own thing. I was just sooo overwhelmed living and working with my "boss". Im also to a point in life that I want to build something for myself. for 3 years I was put down, unappreciated.

I gave up my world to help this man that is still married to a heroine addict, he doesnt appreciate me and thinks I dont appreciate him.

So anyway after I pay for my class and we wind up in ab argument and thats when it comes out because my name is on the business and lixensw and it can not run and stay legal without me

Yes basically waht u said.

Yes basically waht u said. Thats when he told me the business cant run without me. I would be working 9 to 5 and only I can go to the tag office, finance companies pop in and out and if Im never there they may report him. suprise visits from the state. I also gorgot to mention

Business taxes are attached to my name.....so to go to achool in a profession of my choice os impossible I wouldnt qualify for any financial aid and if I did decide ro leave I am not elgible for any government assitance to get me on my feet with me and my 2 kids.

On one HUGE side I feel the

On one HUGE side I feel the way you feel. which is why I am still here and really do want to one day marry this man. I mean we have had out ups and downs, but every couple does. I started feeling the way I expressed now when one month ago he got mad about a fals e assupmtion he made and packed his clothes, had his kids pack their clothes and found a house after we JUST moved into this house at 1500 a month in MY NAME.

It made me realize maybe he does not see us as the family I see us. He was so quick ro throw everything away. I havent expressed ro him how much this hurt me...he didnt leave because that house didnt go through but he continued looking for 3 days.

That would leave me and my two kids in a 5 bedroom house at 1500 month when working with him I only make 2000 a monrh. it was so serious I started looking for room mates. I started scrambling around figuring out how I was going to pay rent in next 2 weeks. It was just an awful feeling. Made me feel lile at anytime he could bail because his name wasnt on the line.

If I dont have a company car I have to ask him to use hia car but, I wasnt saying that...before I started getting paid I had to ask to spend money on anything or explain it. so thats why the counselor suggested I get paid a check.

What you said about marriage is very true....and I never thought about that.

I pay all household bills and things we need around the house and we alternate on grocery shopping. he handles the rent....tbis leaves me with 0 dollars every month...My name was on every account but before we went to counseling when I was getting ready to go to the shelter he took my name off everytging...he has a very good savings....I would like my own savings I dont ever want to feel how I felt when he was ready to leave.

We are building for our family and your right he has alot of trust in me to put his lifes hardwork in my name.

K always ask him if I could keep a car that we get in and he just says its not time...he will buy me one when the time is right....2 years ago he "bought" me a xar for my bday he said money got low and sold it 2 weeks later....he drives a VERY nice suv...which he deserves.