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Lilly Mae's picture

Submitted by Lilly Mae on Sat, 07/06/2024 - 12:49pm

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Am I wrong to feel irritated by the fact that my birthday was  over a month ago and my husband promised me cash.  He still hasn't given it to me because he doesn't have money ,according to him!  He does however have the money for 21 year old stepdaughters expenses as she is without a job and plans to study monthly end.  He is also away on a boys trip and could afford that . I'm so frustrated. Everything and everyone seems to come before me , I feel very under valued.

2Tired4Drama's picture

Submitted by 2Tired4Drama on Sat, 07/06/2024 - 1:03pm

Your DH clearly feels no need to:

1. Value and celebrate your existence/birthday

2. Keep his word to you (no gift)

3. Maintain his vow to put his wife "before all others" - which means other adults like SD

You feel undervalued because you are. The fundamental issue stems with your DH - he is not being a caring, involved partner to you. He is being a caring, involved father to his daughter, though.  Which means he is capable of care, he just doesn't want to give any to you.

Is this how you want to live your life? 

Kes's picture

Submitted by Kes on Sun, 07/07/2024 - 1:33am

Completely agree with the above comments. In your last post your also told us how DH cancelled your date night because you refused to spend it at the pub where SD works!  This man is taking the piss and I don't think you should keep tolerating it. 

BethAnne's picture

Submitted by BethAnne on Sat, 07/06/2024 - 5:32pm

not wrong. first because he was going to give his wife cash...which, unless you specifically asked for it, is a lame gift for your spouse.I'd rather a box of chocolates or cheap bunch of flowers, at least he'd have had to thinnk about me a little as he chose them at the store. second..he should not promise something he cant deliver on, and third the fact that he prioritizes himself and his kid over keeping his promise to you is rude.

AgedOut's picture

Submitted by AgedOut on Sun, 07/07/2024 - 7:53am

He treats you this way because he knows you'll take it. He doesn't treat his grown assed adult daughter thisway because he knows she won't take it. 

 

I guess you need to find your line and decide what to do if he crpsses it (spoiler alert: he's already crossed it. what's your limit?)

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Sun, 07/07/2024 - 12:01pm

Hi there - I went back and read your previous posts about mini-wife SD and your not-so-dear-husband.

Hes a jerk to you and you take it.

SD is a jerk to you and you take it.

SD controls your husband and your home and your finances and you take it.

You are not wrong in your feelings and objectively speaking this is objectionable.

Would you like advice or validation? This guy sucks as a partner and a husband. Get control of the finances, get yourself your own account, and do not spend a dime on him or his mini wife daughter.