This is my first post. So some background to start. I have DD12, SD10, DD8, DD1 1/2, DD5months. All get along great. No sibling issues at all. BM is a major lazy pain in the butt. She does no wrong, any problem in her life or SD is someone else fault - and can usually be mine.

We have always had SD come to live with us over the summer. Originally SD lived quite a distance from us so what DH lacked during the school year was made up over the summer. The girls loved it and had a blast doing all shorts of fun activities all summer together. Last fall BM petition the court to ask that DH's time be spread over the year since they moved back to the same town as us. We had been doing every Wed, along with EOWend over the school year. BM wanted that to be in the new CO, but for it to be all year. Meaning the summer would be mostly with her.

Whole reason for this - MONEY. The main motivation for BM for any and every thing. She thought she could get more money because according to her she would get SD more. Well she got the schedule she wanted, but because it did not actually decreases DH's time with SD over the course of the year - she got no more in CS.

Now this summer is here, BM planned NOTHING for SD. SD sit's home alone all day while BM is at work. Occasionally BM's older DD21 (SD half sib) stops over there for awhile and makes SD lunch. But they don't do anything, The HS brings over her 1y/o and basically (according to SD) she has to sit and play with her while HS watches TV and sits on the computer.

This is beyond infuriating to me. When in court BM attacked me and said how horrible it was for SD to be in my care, how awful a SM I was, how detrimental to SD's self-esteem and her relationship with her father, and how SD did not want to be in our home. It was all lies. In fact right up to the court date where she said all these things, she was still giving DH more time than the CO and even let me have SD for the day when there was no school.

So this summer my girls are signed up for things and doing things. They have youth memberships to the YMCA and will occasionally go there and hang out in the afternoon when they have nothing else planned. It's is very random and some weeks they go three times, some weeks not at all. Well BM decided (after much persistence from SD) to sign up SD to go. She called the Y and asked if WE had a membership for SD. They said no. So she made SD call me and ask me why I didn't have a membership for SD because she should be on OUR membership. I told SD that we did not have a family membership - the girls just had separate youth memberships that cost $12 a month. SD said she really wanted to go. I told her she would have to talk to her mom about getting her one.

First it ticked me off that BM called the Y and only wanted to "sign" her up because she thought we had already paid for a membership for her so it would be a free activity for "her" to do for SD and look great at our cost. Very typical of BM though. Second, ticked because she made SD call me, instead of BM calling DH to talk to him about it like adults, and BM just wanted to paint me as the evil SM to SD.

So now to today. SD calls DH and says that BM did go get her a membership (gasp!!! although I'm about 100% that she told her mom that evil SM didn't include SD so her mom would get it for her) and she wants to know when the girls are going so she can go the same time.

So my question - how is she getting there? How is she getting picked up? Because I take the girls on my lunch break and pick them up after work and get done 2 hours before BM gets done with work? Does anyone else see where this is going? I tell DH to find it out, because since the last court hearing I REFUSE to take SD during BM's CO time. I did a TON before and it was not only not appreciated but not even recognized by her.

Then I look at the girls schedule and said they can go this Friday and next Friday, but then the next 4 weeks they are busy, and the last week before school starts they can go. DH says "can't you rearrange some stuff so they can go more? SD only wants to go when they are there." I say "NO, I'm not rearrange the girls activities and my work schedule just because BM finally got off her butt to do something for SD." Besides why is what BM does with SD based off of what I'm doing with my girls. BM wanted her this summer, BM didn't want her with us, we wanted to split the summer, but BM said NO.

So now DH is ticked off at me because the girls have other stuff going on and won't be there much the rest of this summer. I feel bad for SD, but her MOM wanted it this way. Her mom made it the way it is. But why is it no one ever seems to get upset with her or blame her? SD still thinks she's the best and the greatest. And I'll once again look like the bad guy because my girls have other things going on and won't be there much the rest of the summer.

Now I have SD calling and calling my phone and I don't even want to talk to her. I do care about her and I WANTED her with us this summer. But I just don't want to deal with having to explain it to her. I think that DH should talk to BM and explain it to her and flat out tell her if she wants next summer to be different than she needs to change the court order and basically state that she lied to get the one she got now. But DH avoids BM at all cost, BM avoids DH at all costs (he does chew her butt any time he does have to talk to her) and BM avoids me at all costs. SD asked her to call me to talk to me about the Y program and BM refused and told her she had to. So I feel bad that no one can be the adult parent in this and puts SD in the middle of it all, but I just don't think it should have to fall to me to be the one to explain this stuff to everyone!!!!