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Fake friends or just Busy friends?

franprz's picture

Off topic buuuuuut am I wrong for feeling pissed off? 
 

so my bf and I invited one of his "bestfriend" and his gf + whoever else they wanted to invite out of town to go to the lake. You know just to make a fun weekend out of it! And they both gave us the excuse of "oh we have plans". So we left it at that and didn't question it, just felt a little bummed they didn't want to plan a group trip. Come to find out they still went out of town that weekend AND WENT TO THE EXACT LAKE we invited them too! WITH THE EXTRA FRIENDS WE HAD ALSO SAID COULD COME. We didn't end up going out that weekend because we just feel like going anymore but we literally could've gone... Am I wrong for wanting to give them the cold shoulder when we see them at family events? 

dragonfly878's picture

Call them out- how was the lake? Wasn't that the same lake we invited you to- the same weekend with the same people and you couldn't make it?

Noway2b1's picture

For instance, renting a cabin that sleeps 6 and you two would have made 8 or a boat with limited seating. I can see that being the case. Otherwise I don't see why you wouldn't be included other than other extenuating circumstances. Do you have a dog? Does dog go everywhere with you? Do other people have a dog they might have been bringing and the dogs don't get along? Kids? Some times both of those can kill a vibe. Otherwise yeah theres really no other reason other than that they just didn't want to hang with you guys, and that's ok too,especially if they usually are available and friendly. 

Rags's picture

smell test considering they declined your offer for basically the same event.  I am not sure if I would ask.  I would assume positive intent and test the waters in the future.  

We have very close friends that we travel with frequently. They have a ton of family and an epansive group of close friends. We do not get every invitation.  

They are the ones we are going to Kauai with on Friday.   They book about 6 two BR condos with their vacation club every two years. They also have multiple time share memberships with Disney (primarily at Disney World).  This trip they also invited our son.  Our condo will just have the three of us. The other condos, except for the hosts, will have half a dozen people in them. Some of the families have a number of kids.  

We have done Disney Food & Wine (I highly recommend the Food and Wine festival for a multi frfriends couple trip) with them twice as well as attended their wedding at Disney World.  We have done Austria with them, and this is our second time to Kauai with them.  We have also done LV with them twice. It is interesting, we stay with them at their vacation club on the Strip for a couple of nights, then they stay at our place for a few nights.

Their invitations have no strings attached. Those who accept, get asked first to the next event.  They cover the lodging and anyone they invite has to provide their own transportation and feed themselves. Except for the family of the hosting couple.  Both of their families are not well off while the couple does exceptionally well. So they tend to cover the whole cost for their sibs & their families, aunts, uncles, etc... who go.

Some of the trips are friends only, or family only.  Some are for both.

Depending on what the destination is, the trip is either entirely structured with group iteneraries or has some group events with figure it out on your own time interspersed.

We tend to be go along with whatever everyone wants to do people. We do it with my IL clan, our friends, and even with my family. Though I do occassionally veto what I consider to be a poor choice of restaurants. Our preference is unique local restaurants that the locals recommend. My IL clan, are chain restaurant people for the most part.  We avoid places we can eat at regularly at home if we are on the trip.  That, and there are not may restaurants we go to that they pick that are any good.  Then ther is my SIL, she is the trendy restaurant of the moment person. I rarely like the places she fixates on.  Interestingly, once we find a local place we like, we can go there for endless years.  The places my SIL pics, tend to be 2-5 year then close places.

But, I digress.