an example of what we deal with
This is the email we got from BM when she was asked why it has been 3 months since she has called or seen her kids, and telling her how she was hurting them, and explaining if she wasnt gonna be a positive, consistant peron in their lives she should sign off her rights:
I see what you are saying and what you want me to do but you do not know how it feels to have to worry about if they are going to come and pick my ass up and that is why I haven't called them or come and got them,(IN 3 MONTHS!) I don't want them to see that and I sure don't want to tell them why....That is the ONLY reason...I don't want you to think I don't want to pay child support cuz that is not it(REALLY THEN WHY DONT SHE?)..Look I KNOW I can go back to LBI for a job I just called there today(SHE USED THIS ON DOMESTICS TOO,BUT SAID SHE HAD THE JOB, SHE NEVER DID)..I am looking for an apartment in your town because of the kids and school(THIS WAS IN AUG, SHE MUST STILL BE LOOKING BECAUSE SHE STILL LIVES IN THE SAME PLACE) If you can just drop the arrears that is all and I will still pay the child support(REALLY? DONT YOU HAVE TO HAVE AND KEEP A JOB TO PAY CS?) and you can still have the custody and I will help you as much as I can.. Okay maybe I was wrong for not calling at least but I know if I talk to them on the phone the first thing they are going to say is why haven't you came and got us, I don't want to say because mommy doesn't have the money to pay dad I might be going to jail...I am sorry but that is something I do not want to say...So I am sorry for that..But don't think I don't want to pay child support because I will that is fine and I will pay it..
*************
honestly, she would tell the kids that she dont have the money to pay dad, and they would blame him for her going to jail... it happened before.. she is pathetic!
She was only 7000 behind at this time.. but at 50 a wk, thats awhile..
I blogged about our CS court
I blogged about our CS court yesterday. We go through this too. BM is a little over $14,000 in arrears and they won't put her in jail. You can read my blog if you want.
I think its such bullshit. I think she is trying to manipulate you. She is never going to pay, so NEVER agree to sign off on the arrears, thats HER problem. BM always used to say she had no problem paying and she never paid!!! She just started paying once we filed for contempt. Our BM used to tell SS9 that she couldn't see him because she had to work to pay Daddy (and she wouldn't pay) and it just bit her in the butt because SS9 would get upset and say "the least she could do is help pay for things for me, she won't even pick me up or call". File for contempt and have her served. If you know where she's living, it shouldn't be too hard. You don't have to have a sheriff serve her, anyone over age 18 can do it (at least in my state).
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
DH actually considered
DH actually considered signing off the arrears, it was brief, but he considered.
I wish my step kids would see her like that.
she can do whatever she wants, take off for days, weeks, months, not call, not see them, not pay anything for them, not buy them ANYTHING, move hours away from them.. but no matter what she is an idol to them..its aggrivating.
Anyways we did finally get a judgement on her, its outside of the cs court, at any time we can pay the sherriff to go out to her house and take whatever cash she has on her we were told that he can even take her jewelry off of her, she can not have a car in her name, she can not get a loan until this is paid off.. which really dont matter because she lives off of other people and has no need to get anything of her own.
The kids SS who is almost 13 and SD11 can not seem to get the point,hint or whatever you want to call it, they go to BM house with her 3 "new kids" (boyfriends kids that cal her mom) for xmas and they get shit, and the "new kids" get tons.. all from her!! That is fine with them, everything is always fine with them.. in the mean time I am being used when it suites their needs.
ugh.. grrrrr... good news though.. I am starting bounderies.. !!
DH once briefly considered
DH once briefly considered signing off on arrears. Im not sure what the hell he was thinking and thank goodness he didn't. And don't feel too bad. Now that SS is seeing BM more, she is still on that pedestal. SS only thought that way when DH yanked BM's visitation for being an ass when SS was around. I have disengaged from BM and SS. We are in family therapy. Its sad. And the last 2 visits, BM has taken SS to stay at hotels. WTF? You can't pay your support but you can take ss to stay at hotels. They "have fun with room service and indoor pools". SS has even brought home a bathrobe they stole. What is with these damn women!!! BM had her license taken away, can't get a passport, or a loan, can't rent an apartment. Its crazy!!! On his birthday, he got a $5 gift and for Christmas he got some used toys, 2 new toys and a $25 gift card. Its not about money but if you aren't doing a damn thing for them year round, at least hook them up on the holidays. I feel your frustration. And the bottom line is that kids should no nothing about CS. The only reason my SS does is because his idiot mother told him about it. AHHHHHHH!!!!!!
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
we do find ourselves
we do find ourselves defending us to the kids.. they know about child support because of her, but we had to explain to them why she has to pay it, they only know about visitation and courts and lawyers and all the adult bullshit because BM would tell them shit and we would have to explain things and prove it to them with papers and shit, so they would stop being mad at us and being mean and hateful!
I hear ya. BM told SS she
I hear ya. BM told SS she didn't have a license because of Dad and that Dad wants money and thats why she can't drive. Of course DH had to tell him the bare minimum (mommy doesn't pay child support). Then SS would come back with "Dad never paid Mom any money when I lived with Mom". Yes he sure did. DH killed that with "have I ever had my license taken away?". It gets pretty ridiculous. My DH has sole custody and told BM that she would never see SS again if she kept it up. She has stopped since the first court date, so hopefully she'll just knock it off.
"If I turn into another, Dig me up from under what is covering the better part of me" -Incubus
Sounds just like the
Sounds just like the manipulative, pity-party emails that we get from Her Holiness the Golden Uterus.
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."