I have been divorced for two years and now I am in a very happy steady relationship with a wonderful man. We plan to marry later this year. My problem is that my mother and sister insist on keeping my ex-husband as a major part of their lives. Because I left the marriage they seem to feel sorry for him and have him to stay over at their place.My sister and her husband actually left their house and moved to the same town as my ex husband and are now living next door to him! She and her husband often go over for dinner with my ex and socialise closely with him because they live in a small town. My mother goes up there to stay and my ex drives her home and then stays the night at her place, sometimes with his new girlfriend who my mother doesn't even like.I have six children by my first marriage, all of whom are adults and working and leading their own lives. I guess it was a shock to them when we separated, but they seem to have dealt with it. At any rate, I am happy for them to have a great relationship with their Dad - they are certainly not the problem. The Xmas before last I allowed my ex husband to have Xmas with our kids at MY mother's house because he was on his own and I had a partner. I felt sorry for him, so I didn't intrude, and didn't say anything for the sake of the kids and peace. However, I made it quite clear that I would be down next year for Xmas with my Mum and sister.So last Xmas arrived and I took my present partner down to spend Xmas with my family and it was just so unpleasant. My mother put on old videos of our family, including some of my wedding day to my first husband. I felt so dreadful for my partner, and I know he felt as though he didn't belong. Also, my sister left at 4pm to continue the celebrations with my ex and his girlfriend at my sister's house, where they all had their own celebration and invited all my six kids down.As my partner and I had driven for two days to get to be with my family, I was pretty upset and embarrassed because my partner had gone without seeing his Mum for Christmas so we could be with my family.We left with me in tears in front of my children and the whole day was ruined. My mother and my sister cannot see anything wrong with the way they are behaving.I was blamed for selfishly ruoning everyone's Xmas. They say that THEY did not divorce my first husband, that he is still part of the family as far as they are concerned, and that they are sure that my new partner is a very nice man but they don't really know him.My ex-husband has refused to talk to me since I left him three years ago and he is being very difficult in general. I feel that my family should be loyal to me, their sister and daughter, and they should not be continually inviting my ex to be such a close part of their lives when it is causing me anguish and stress. I don't want my first husband to ba part of my family any more. I don't want to be continually hearing about him and his doings. I am happy to have any news of him come through my own children and I am happy for my ex to see my mother and sister occasionally as a friend, but they are treating him more like a son and I feel as though I am the outcast and being punished! It is as though they are sitting in judgment because I left the marriage. And the main problem is that I am upset to see my present partner being hurt by their actions.I have written both my mother and sister countless letters telling them how their actions are making me feel and I have spoken to them, but they just cannot see my point of view, with the result that we are barely speaking any more.We were a very close family before, and I would have said that my sister was my best friend.Has anybody experienced anything similar or does anyone have thoughts on this? Do you think I am wrong to feel so strongly angry about this?