Drama for 7 years!!!
Well my husband I have been together for 7 years!! His ex-wife hated my guts!!! She cheated, he left, and we’ve been together ever since. When we got married, he decided to have DNA of the four children by ex wife. Only 2 turned out to be his...nonetheless all four still were accepted. We all lived in Louisiana. One morning ex wife called my husband and told him that she and the kids had moved to Chicago. I’ve dealt with constant disrespect, a physical altercation, even her insulting my own children. I chalked it up to her misery. So the kids came for summer visits, and stayed an entire year last year and went to school here. Ex wife didn’t want my name listed on any paperwork, and even had the audacity to not want the kids left alone with me!! As if!! I’ve always had a great and loving relationship with my step children but the disrespect towards me got so bad that we decided it was time for her to figure out who the biological father was for the 2 children that weren’t my husband’s. Of course this furiated her more. So now my husband is on disability after injuring his hip welding. He get social security and he goes to add his children so that they can get money as well. Of course he only added the 2 by ex wife. Ex wife goes to the social security office in Chicago adds the other 2 who were proven not to be his through DNA. But Louisiana law states he’s responsible financially for them since they were married. So now she gets money from my husband for them all and money from the biological fathers on the side. I hate herrrrr!!!!!!! I know children are innocent in this but am I wrong for feeling like she has no right calling my husband to buy winter coats for the children????????? I need advice. It’s driving me crazy!!!
Another thing I should point
Another thing I should point out....my step children and I have no relationship at all. If they FaceTime my husband the most they will say is Hi. I know it’s because of their loyalty to their mom and I don’t even care!!!! My husband told me that my step daughter wants to come here for Christmas. I know the mom put her up to it so that she want have to buy Christmas gifts for all of her kids. I didn’t even reply.
Unfortunately that's the way
Unfortunately that's the way the cookie crumbles.....
DH can simply tell the other two he's not their biological father and they should ask BM who was the sperm donors, but yes his name is on the birth certificates thus he will be responsible for CS till they age out. He's the only father they've known for year, thus they all will have to come and visit or all off them stays at home.
Regarding Christmas gifts, no one said you should over spend, 50bucks per child is more then enough and you only spend what you can afford.
DH should make sure there's a proper CO in place stipulating CS and visitation and he must follow that to the T. if BM asks for more money he can simply say NO, I can't help you BM..... once again that will be for all 4 children.
I would like to know how is it possible for her to simply put the children on his SSC? I would investigate this matter and try and proof fraud, cause in my opinion this is exactly what she's doing, taking from his disability and from the other bio fathers, maybe try and find the other fathers and tell them BM is already getting money for the children }:)
This is the law in pretty
This is the law in pretty much every state: But Louisiana law states he’s responsible financially for them since they were married. There was an earlier discussion re: a similar situation: https://www.steptalk.org/node/241877
There is also some discussion here: https://www.steptalk.org/node/241925
Yes, the court is only interested in DH's ex-wife and the kids and, dare I say, making sure some man takes financial responsibility for these children so the state doesn't have to. Not saying I necessarily fault them (if the state can save money then they have saved the taxpayers money); just saying that is the way it is. The discussion above touches on many sides of the issue. I don't blame you for being angry about it, but in the end it is what it is. I'm not sure about Louisiana, but can a woman take her children out of state without informing dad (or alleged dad)? In this case, I do think your DH should have put his foot down in some manner, shape or form long ago.
Get a lawyer is right!!
I believe you and your kids
I believe you and your kids should be entitled to some of DH's social security money too.