Do your step kids Defend and gang up on both you and DH???
SD is 14 and SS is 8 and they stick together like glue. Not to say they don’t fight BUT if DH or god forbid I try and Discipline SS, SD14 jumps right in and starts Degrading and fighting with us. The most recent issue was when SS8 bit another kid at school. Yes the little bastard still bites at 8. DH tried to talk to SS when SD14 was in her room as he knows how she reacts. Well SD14 heard what was going on and flew out of her room to jump in the conversation. She started Arguing saying teacher that saw this is an idiot and it really isn’t a big deal. She did not witness this. DH told her to stay out of it and she said no and continued to Argue. Now DH has two kids yelling at him. I stay out of it as SD14 LOVES to look for any excuse to fight with me. After the brats finished yelling at DH,SD14 told SS8 lets get out of here and brings him into her room and shuts the door so we could not here what they were saying. This has been a problem for the last couple of years but it’s getting worse.
Now I remember when I was a young kid I LOVED when my Siblings got in trouble and would never think to jump in and defend them. My parents could trust us alone at a early age as they knew if one of us did something we were not supposed to the other ones with throw us under the bus when they get home. Are divorced kids different or are these two just little assholes???
This is true for skids here
This is true for skids here as well. I don't think it is necessarily to defend but more so an excuse to start with their father. I think it stems from years of being PAS'd by HCBM. Luckily for me my SO shuts it down and has even invited skids to leave.
It is up to your DH to handle them when it happens.
The kids are asses and your
The kids are asses and your husband is an idiot.
His kids act that way becausehe allows them to do so. The first time they pulled that crap, he should have checked their asses HARSHLY.
The fact that she had the balls to tell her father no AND continued to argue, shows that he has done nothing to cement his role of authority in his home.
Discipline. If she jumps in
Discipline. If she jumps in then she gets in trouble too... He needs tol solve that. That absolutely should NEVER be tolerated.
Couldn't agree more.
Couldn't agree more.
Your DH is giving her WAY too much power. He's treating her as if she were a parent and had the right to have her say. WRONG!
It’s not appropriate behavior
It’s not appropriate behavior. Kids sound like feral animals and DH is clueless. Unbelievable
I dealt with that
my three SSs used to all gang up against DH myself and my BS. If BS was in a room alone with the SSs they the older teo would hang up on and beat on YSS and then blame BS. Or they would all be playing and the second they didn’t get their way they would blame BS. BM didn’t help the situation. If one of the SSs wasn’t getting their way or being “corrected” they would call her and she would come get them. Our house is large and they would actually leave with her and not tell us. We would figure it out after they had left.
I don’t miss those days
Holy crap, this would never
Holy crap, this would never fly in our house. Your DH is being a pushover- no kids should have this kind of power. If skids EVER tried to pull crap like this, my SO would shut it down immediately. After a lot of yelling, they would both be sent to their rooms, and SS12 would get his PS4 turned off and bedroom door opened, with more yelling. My SO would ask them who they thought they were and tell them if they ever did that again they would be grounded from electronics for a month, with a few intimidating "Do you understands???" thrown in there (and skids are required to reply yes to that question, which they do immediately). It's intimidating and effective and keeps us from having to deal with this kind of nonsense.
Went through it
I hated that crap. Even now when the kids are in there early 20s they pull similar stuff
I think sk in general do this to bio parents
even without their siblings being around. They’ve been raised in a typical “we are precious and god type complex”, a result of 1 parent usually being a narcissistic prick and setting a bad example to the kids, other parent treated with disrespect and manipulation so sk know or believe they can walk over someone. They are never at fault, it is always somebody elses fault.
the fact this little SHIT, bit someone by definition and action confirms he has issues and did something wrong, for his elder sister to think she’s so smart and jump in and say its no big deal “the biting”, actually it is, thats assault and illegal. The other kid who got bitten can file charges. Try having the smart ass sd explain to cops how its not a big deal and the cops put her back in her place