Disrespectful family???

Forums:

I'll be honest up front I'm the wife of a stepparent but I neeed advice. My family is all of the sudden speaking more and more to my ex. Here's a little history: we've been apart for five years, he was abusive and cheated. He isn't the best father and rarely pays child support. On the other hand my husband of a year has taken complete care of my kids. Okay so, my family appears to communicate with me ex more than my husband at games and such. Also I found out that my dad wants him to build things on my dads property. My hubby and I aren't happy with this. Do we have a right to be upset? I'm at the point of demanding my family to goose between us. I don't want them to be rude to him. I just don't want them to be friends either.

I think it's time for a talk

I think it's time for a talk with your parents. Can you share with them that when they cozy up to the ex, it makes you feel that they don't respect the abuse you suffered? And that you feel they are being disloyal?

Your family having your ex build something on family land is bizarre. Even if the guy is likeable.

Do they dislike your new DH? Is there any validity to their feelings? I mean, I don't want to be rude, but often women who marry an asshole also tend to go on and marry another, slightly different asshole. Did you fix your man-picker before you remarried???

He's a super awesome guy. I

He's a super awesome guy. I made sure I worked on myself and my manpicker before remarrying. I've spoken to my family and they just argue with me. They don't seem to get it. When they allow the ex to be around they make everyone uncomfortable. Ugh

Also I think they do have

Also I think they do have some issues with him such as political, religious, etc. My family is ultra conservative and he isn't. They basically see being unconservative as a sin lol.

Yes he is offering the work

Yes he is offering the work at a lower price. I've spoken to them and they get defensive and rude. I just feel like they aren't even trying to validate how I feel about it at all.

See, right here, this advice

See, right here, this advice should be pinned, should be site wide, as it applies to so many issues we all have. It separates emotions from facts. Understanding this principle gave me my life back, as well as my peacefulness. I am a better person for it!!

Yes this really is very true!

Yes this really is very true! And so very hard! Lol

Time to remind your family

Time to remind your family and particularly your dad that your X was an abusive adulterer and is a CS deadbeat and ask them to cut off contact.

If they refuse see how they like no contact with you and your kids.

Their choice.

Exactly. DH's parents became

Exactly. DH's parents became all buddy-buddy with the ex (who was physically and emotionally abusive to him) once the skids were PASed out of his life. I get it- they still want to see their grandkids. BUT...there's no need to sit and chat and share personal details about OUR life with this cretin. Since they couldn't keep their mouths shut about us to BM, and if they support the kids' PAS by rewarding it with "family vacations" and frequent gifts of money, guess who is no longer in their only son's life?

Their choice, exactly.