I have been absent from here for a few weeks. This is where I come to get some reassurance and sound advice after venting.

SS7 has been behaving better after I let his father know that I was at my wits end with the nightly 3 hour marathon whining, screaming tantrums. IF it didn't stop they would have to move out. SS7 really needs the structure and care that I bring to the picture. It breaks my heart but I don't know if I can play the martyr for the next decade. I think I emotionally checked out a month ago from DH. I really am just about to ask his father to move out. I think we should live separately.

BM is causing constant drama as she is a bipolar selfish witch. She continuously calls DH every day even though we have SS7 just because she has nothing better to do. The discussions are all her droning on about herself. We threatened a restraining order and she had the cops come to our house to say they were worried about her and we should check on her (her mother sent them to our house). Sorry but she is no longer DHs problem. Let her whacko parents deal with her, she is 40 years old and not 4. I am so sick of the drama and stress.

I just feel betrayed by all the cover up and dishonesty with DH from the beginning. He tried to lure me in with lies and illusions. Now that the veil is falling away, I just get more resentful by the day. He says he loves me but I just feel used. Moving in together was supposed to be financially smart for both of us. We could save money for a house. He is turning into nothing but a leech to my finances and it is making me physically ill, especially as he makes so much more money than me.

Every day there is stress as I'm sick of having to drain my finances to feed him and his spoiled son who will take one sip or one bite out of something and then demand something else. My electric bill has doubled. I'm sick of paying for all the extras in the house too. I'm sick of cleaning up after them. I'm sick and tired of it all. I don't know what goes through his (DHs) ignorant head. What could possibly make me want him in my life when he is bringing me nothing but misery? What kind of future does he think he is presenting?

Not to mention I found out after he moved in that he has severe emotional problems with depression and takes meds and had a suicide attempt last year. He is an alcoholic which he hid from me as he knows I can't tolerate that. He always has nothing but excuses for me all the bad things and he never actually works on changing anything. He may have a caring heart but most of the time I feel disregarded and secondary to his and SS7s wants and needs.

I feel so guilty about not being some kind of Mother Theresa but I spent almost 2 decades with an abusive ex before meeting DH. I don't want to give up the next 20 years and have nothing but pain and regrets for all my sacrifices. This is going to be painful, but I need them out. I'm just trying to figure out the best way and with the least drama to remove them from my home.

It's hard to find anyone who actually even cares about you nowadays when dating. I just don't want to settle for someone who doesn't care enough or as much as I do.