DH's sister's double standards
From the first year DH and I have been together and MIL started including me in all of their family events, DH's sister has been inhospitable and openly unwelcoming to me
When MIL would hold the little annual B Day dinner for DH's eldest daughter and I, DH's sister wouldn't so much as respond when I said hello to her let alone go out and buy something for me for my birthday
Same with Christmas. DH's sister would be sure to present everyone - FIL, MIL, DH, DH's daughters - with Xmas gifts but excluded me, leaving me of course feeling unwelcome, not part of the family, uncomfortable....
DH used to get ticked right off by this, especially as I always went to great trouble to purchase thoughtful (and far too expensive) gifts for her for her birthday, Christmas, etc... but I didn't let it bother me. I reasoned that DH was the one dating me, not his sister, and if she chose not to acknowledge me in any way let alone as family well, that was her choice
I personally could never have treated any of my own SIL's (my brother's wives) this way and have always purchased nice Christmas/birthday/Easter/you name it, gifts for them over the years. I can't imagine excluding them from this at family get togethers. But, I also don't place my own values on others.
Over the years DH's sister improved somewhat. One year for Christmas she gave me a tube of hand cream, another year she gave me a book for my birthday. It was something. There was a thought. Nothing compared to what she would buy for DH's eldest/her niece but I always reasoned DH's eldest is her family and I most certainly am not. She didn't need to buy me anything nor have I ever expected it, and over the years she has purchased small nice gifts for me on my birthday and I've never been anything but appreciative of them to her
However, while DH's sister treats me this way, she appears to do way more for SSIL (DH's eldest daughter's husband who has been around for the last 5 years or so) in his case, well, she is warm and chatty AND makes sure to buy great gifts for his birthday. While she'll give me a blank ugly card with little written on it, she'll give SSIL wonderful birthday cards
DH's sister even made sure to drop the B Day gift for SSIL's upcoming birthday at our house, which SSIL opened today, so I couldn't help but notice the difference in the gifts.
At the end of the day, I just think DH's sister is an infantile, mean person who needs to get over her jealousies and anger. No need for her to have been such a bitch to me over the years. I never treated her that way nor gave her any reason to
I'm polite to her, but now as disengaged from her as I am from DH's eldest daughter - who needs them!
Honestly I would love to have
Honestly I would love to have your SIL over mine any day.
My DH and sister do not yet along which in turn means if he stops her from attacking him even over the smallest retarded things she turns to me.
http://www.steptalk.org/node/174985
That is the link to last incident.
Well now SIL and BM despised each other when DH and BM were married due to various reasons. However it came out SIL is the one who wanted BM to go to Christmas festivities to ensure I wouldn't go (mind you I was out of town with my own family) and according to SS his momma and aunt s are getting along again...which means the PAS will now be ramped up I'm sure and SIL can justify more how evil I am since BM hates me for anything and has made comments to DH even since the no communication order about how dare me sit in my car in from of her house and not acknowledge her (during drop off right before DH went to work - most exchanges are done at school) and apparently they are getting along so well they went to a party together last night (BM told SS last night when she called to tell hi good night).
I don't care that she doesn't like me but it seems like a bigger stab to me that she calls me names and evil and tells me I am dragging DH down a evil path yet she wants to go out ad hang out with someone he tools EVERYTHING from DH and ruined his name in public to the point he didn't want to even be around family because he didn't want to hear what BM was saying now (Since we have been together DH has seen not only his son but family more than when he was married as FIL, MIL like me and so stopped the negative talk).
I am just waiting for the next attack where I will barely be able to defend myself as the energy almost seems not worth it anymore as I will always be the bad guy.
I most certainly have sm1994
I most certainly have sm1994
Sorry to hear you're having
Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time sbm014
It sucks but DH stands by me
It sucks but DH stands by me and to me the fact he though may not always do as much to defend as I wish he would knowing he loves me makes it easier.
Maybe she simply doesn't like
Maybe she simply doesn't like you, and it has nothing to do with BM, your DH, or you being a second wife. Some people just don't get along. No biggie.
Have you simply asked her about it? Perhaps once long ago you offended or slighted her and didn't even realize it.
No furkidsforme, apparently
No furkidsforme, apparently DH`s sister treated BM the exact same way while BM and DH were married. Once they split and DH was with someone else (not me) the new girlfriend got to be treated like she didn`t exist and suddenly BM was okay in DH`s sister`s books
Now that the old girlfriend is gone and I`m married to DH, I`m the one who gets the wrath of his sister
The old girlfriend(s) of DH....well, his sister actually invited them to MIL`s funeral!!!!! Including DH`s very first girlfriend that he hadn`t seen in years and he totally didn`t even recognize her
DH`s sister needs help I think....and I take it as a compliment I`m not on her happy list that`s for sure!