DH talked to SS, got our undies out of his room
DH is mad at me that I wanted to throw out my 3 thongs, my 2 bras, and SD17 bra he got out of SS16 room.
DH somewhat defended SS. Saying, "SS had to have thought it was yours he just wouldn't have taken SD's"
DH was trying to be all sly and put my dirty clothes from our room on top of the nasties in a laundry basket and was going to do a load of laundry.
(It was red flags first of all for him to be doing my laundry, and on a Saturday night, when he usually is vegged out in front of the TV.)
I told him I was not going to wear anything his son may have cum into and I most certainly was not going to let his daughter wear something her brother was jerking off into.
He told me to get over myself. That he was going to bleach it and it would be fine.
I repeated myself and he brought up that he didn't care that when we were first dating I had underwear and stuff from before him. I didn't throw all that away.
Can anyone else relate?
I really don't feel like I'm overreacting here.
I want to throw the shit away.
Especially with his own daughter...
Those of you with siblings? Would you want to wear a bra your brother jacked off in? Men, do you want your sister to wear the bra you jacked off in?
Stepmoms, do you want to wear things close to your body your SS may have jerked off in?
Husbands, do you want your wives wearing underwear a teenage boy had in his room hidden under his bed for months?
My husband still did the load of laundry. It is sitting in the dryer now...
I'm thinking about sneaking in there early tomorrow morning before he is awake and pulling out all the underwear and all the bras, throwing them all away, and buying all new... Since he mixed my laundry in there I have no idea which ones were the exact ones in his room, so they all go...
My H is horrified and to
My H is horrified and to quote him "I'd beat the sh^t out of him. That's disgusting." Bottom line is throw it out, your H is insane to expect any of you to wear those items ever again.
I didn't flip out about it to
I didn't flip out about it to DH. He just protested me throwing them away. It was him making a big deal.
I am flipping out on here because I think I'm right to throw them out and I think DH is wrong to want his wife and daughter wear undergarments his son most likely had sexual interactions with.
Especially because DH wants to keep everything a secret.
He doesn't want SS to know that I know about his sexual exploits with my things under his bed.
And he doesn't want SD to know where her bra has been, in this whole time it has been missing, either.
I'd throw them away and I
I'd throw them away and I have experienced something similar. SS13 used my tablet and sat on my bed in my room and watched a porn video. I don't know exactly what he did but the thought of him at least having a semi boner was enough for me to strip and wash all the bedding and clean EVERYTHING in the room from top to bottom. I also verbally lost it on SS13 and threatened his life if he ever touched anything of mine again.
What your DH doesn't understand, because he chooses to be blinded by his parental undying love, is that it feels like a violation. It IS a violation. It is someone who you'd never ever ever want to do anything sexual with - doing sexual things with your private property. It is a violation of your personal belongings. It feels dirty and gross and very very violating.
It doesn't even have to be sexual in nature. Years ago I had my vehicle broken into via the driver's side window and the stereo stolen. I felt weirdly violated by that as well and had to clean everything in the vehicle from top to bottom and felt strange driving it for a long while.
Just throw your stuff away and inform your SS to keep his hormonal perverted hands off of your knickers. And tell your DH to just accept that you feel how you feel. He doesn't get to tell you what to feel or dismiss it just because it has something to do with his precious little poopsie.
I wasn't asking his
I wasn't asking his permission. I asked DH what he was doing, doing my laundry on a Saturday night and he told me. I told him not to bother that it was all going to be thrown away. That is when he got mad and said it would be bleached.
I think it is very strange
I think it is very strange that your husband wants you and SD to keep the underwear
that SS had in his room. Why would there even be a discussion about this? Of course they should be thrown away. He is missing the point by offering to bleach them.
But why do you need to sneak them out of the dryer? Tell DH exactly what you are going to do and why. He has completely disrespected you by trying to keep you from throwing the items away. They are yours, you can do what you d*mn well please with them.
Take a sharp kitchen knife or
Take a sharp kitchen knife or scissors, shred them and then get rid of them.
Then they can't be used.
Okay he prob didn't mean to take his sister stuff but he did mean to take yours - so you need to form a plan regarding this?
Do you do one delicate wash all together and then keep your clothes in locker room ? Do you need to buy him some cheap bras and panties so he doesn't take yours again?
What is going to be plan going forward so you don't have to deal with disgusting situation again?
And I say you cause obv dh seems no help at mo
I normally do all my own
I normally do all my own laundry. I don't know how he got them in the rirst place. The only times I can think of is when he uses our shower. If everyone comes inside from working cattle at the same time, we have 3 showers and he has been sent to our shower in our bedroom. He would have had to dig in my dirty laundry basket to get them and brought them back with his dirty clothes...but I'm only speculating. The kids are usually never at home alone so he would have had to be sneaky. And would have had to be snooping around my room to find them.
I would confront ss directly
I would confront ss directly since DH will not. Just look at ss and tell him that he is not to touch your underwear.
Just throw the stuff away- bras cannot be bleached, or put in the dryer.
Your dh is the bigger problem. He really thought he would just try to do your laundry and not address this?
Thank you, I have been so
Thank you, I have been so preoccupied with the bigger problems I completely forgot that he bleached the underwire bras and put them in the dryer.
Oh man he is going to be pissed when I tell him I'm throwing them away because he put them in the dryer. I bet the cup is all mis-shappen and underwire is all bent.
Haha thank you I didn't even think of that.
I would confront ss directly
I would confront ss directly since DH will not. Just look at ss and tell him that he is not to touch your underwear.
Just throw the stuff away- bras cannot be bleached, or put in the dryer.
Your dh is the bigger problem. He really thought he would just try to do your laundry and not address this?
Elastic that has been
Elastic that has been bleached can cause severe skin reactions in some people.
Why does he want you to keep
Why does he want you to keep them so badly??
Ok, have not told DH this
Ok, have not told DH this yet, but I went to get the laundry out of the dryer. I separated out the clothes....drumroll...
The pink and white lace thong I SAW under SS bed was not in the mix of clothes,...
So,... Did SS only give up some of his loot because he got caught?
I'm going to tell DH SS still has at least one more of my thongs hidden in his room and probably more and tell him at the same time I tell him the bras are ruined for being bleached and dried in the dryer.
I'm also going to say that this goes beyond his son just being curious about girls and wanting to jerk off.
he is stealing,...and now he is not being truthful to his own father about it.
And like you said ladyface, this will keep happening if it is not nipped in the ass right now.
On top of that my property and his sister's is destroyed now because of his initial actions.
I don't want to shame the boy where he is scared of sex, but this is too much when stealing and lies are involved.
^^Oh, so ... ^^
^^Oh, so ...