Is DH keeping me in the dark re his kids demands/bday gifts/money requests etc?
I cannot put my finger on it....but I think my DH is starting to think his EX BM and his two knobs of kids are his business alone and any issues that come up he will deal with them himself....without communicating anything with me....
Now....I feel that If Im going to be a permanent fixture in his life....TILL DEATH DO WE PART....that he should be discussing their weirdo demands with me....even if I go off the handle over their ridiculous suggestions.....we still should be side by side laughing at them, or denying them....I also feel he should be saying when the brats demand, or the ex bm demands.....'ill speak with my wife regarding this and get back to you' so they know that their weirdness is being discussed outside of their personal space that they still think their entitled to have....(if you know what I mean)
and I am feeling that this demand to not discuss anything with me is coming from the ex bitch herself....MS GOLDEN FUGLY UTERUS SLAG BM....
would be interested in others views on this matter...In that...has anyone dealt or felt like this too? or is it just me going thru PMT weirdoness....?
I dont think its right...
Good luck with that one. GG
Good luck with that one. GG has told me time and again that his kids are HIS business; even back in the day when he wanted to get married, yet my grown kids that don't cause any problems are fair game to FIND something to nit pick about.
yeah well If you have been
yeah well If you have been thru it Auteur....then now im even more convinced its the BM REQUESTS....She has obviously made up Bullshit about how he has 'NO RIGHT' to discuss his children or his childrens/ex wife business with me...etc etc...or played mind games with him to manipulate his head so that he believes he cant talk to me about it....
fn crazy ex slag bitch....
Can you imagine what they must say about us????
DF and I both work. We don't
DF and I both work. We don't have joint accounts. I do not tell him when I send money to my son(he attends college out of state)or buy him stuff. Since I'm not using his money, I see no need to seek his approval. He handles $$ for his kids the same way
As far as BM, he tells me
As far as BM, he tells me everything~maybe too much. BM tries to give him hell about talking to me about their kids, but he gives it right back to her.
oh sorry disneyfan...dont get
oh sorry disneyfan...dont get me wrong....its not about seeking approval...its more about DH having some secret significant issues going on in the background of our life together, that affects his attitude and character and yet he still stops short in discussing them with his wife????
Although, that being said, money is an issue ATM as we pay a significant amt to the BM, and she still demands that DH pay for laptops, sports gear etc...and in the past we have discussed this - my view is they ask for all the big ticket items off him and he should just say no and to ask them to get their mother to pay for it....and, as Im struggling to find money to buy my sister a b/day present, my son is still waiting for me to send his xmas present and my SIL thinks that my DH paid $500 for a new computer to the skid (unconfirmed as she thinks the skid is just bragging to stir up trouble) then Im questioning if I have any right to say something...hence the post...
Agree with you..... I guess I
Agree with you.....
I guess I feel like im being cheated upon sort of....like as if he is still running or conducting a financial arrangement with his 'ex' family according to their values, beliefs and requirements of the moment....
Divorce to me is about not having any access to your exes wallet or time....Geez I dont dare ask my ex for anything further than CS.....I know the ansa anyway...and besides, he is now married with another women...its just an intrusion on their lives should I go calling him up everytime I think he needs to pay extra for things...
Your hubby sounds as if he's
Your hubby sounds as if he's a little on the non-confrontational side. He gets demands/requests that, in the past, were deemed completely acceptable. (money, gifts, favors etc). Now in steps new wife and all the sudden, he can't make those choices and decisions on his own. He must consult you. He must, according the marriage by-laws, get your blessing to proceed. This all makes perfect sense to him. Until someone on the other side kicks, screams and makes his life hell.
Then man gets awesome man idea. I will just do what I want with these demands, and keep it a secret. Everybody happy and man no have to get screamed at!!! Yah, me celebrate new idea.
So, you have some choices.
Accept it and do the same in your life. Decide to split things down the middle, your money, his money stuff.
Call him on it with no evidence.
Play Sherlock and bust him.
YOU HAVE HIT THE NAIL ON THE
YOU HAVE HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD DUCT TAPE.....
BC the bm is such a mad bitch....her demands are completly off the planet and therefore do cause me to gasp cough and splutter....that being said....when my ex has made some BS issues towards me...I go straight to my husband and discuss these....or if my son has a problem...I discuss it with DH to get his opinion as I feel we should work together for a solution...and 2 minds are better than 1....
NOW...HOW DO I BRING THIS UP? ANYONE GOT ANY IDEAS?
Firstly, don't do as the
Firstly, don't do as the enemy does. They, she, whomever is placing the demands is being aggressive. BUT BEFORE YOU CONFRONT, be aware of this. You may cause a minor blow up, and during the conversation, he may just admit to you that he thinks YOU are being the pushy one. He may say that you are too harsh and that he feels these demands aren't really so unreasonable. And never did, until you came along. He may very well be agreeing with you just to make you happy. It happened to me. I speak from experience. So, I handled that the old school way.
Ok stupid man, you think that these demands/requests are all reasonable? Okay, then they are suitable for all parties involved. Daughter wants $500 prom dress, this kid gets $500. Son wants a sports car, okay this one gets one too. And it stopped. All of it stopped.