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Dad allows daughter to talk rudely

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:09pm

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:jawdrop: :sick:

So how do you ignore when a 11 yr old child talks disrespectfully to your spouse and he lets her.... She says excuse me I am talking that is rude, or I am talking now, or I am trying to say something when he is talking. Or how about Listen to me...

Lately I have given up I disengage and let her do it not saying a thing as he passively takes it and doesnt correct her. He becomes the child and I bite my tongue. Its hard. I am a strict parent of three, its crazy what comes out of her mouth continually.

Yep he is allowing it its his fault.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:15pm

Start enforcing the consequences on him.

"Honey, everytime you let your daughter talk rudely or nasty to me, I feel disrespected and unvalued. This destroys any desire to be physical or intimate with you in any way."

The next time he lets her get away with it, let DH feel the sting of a cold shoulder and no snooky.

Madicakes's picture

Submitted by Madicakes on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:21pm

I am learning that you can't make DH take any action, or defend themselves. They need to do that all on their own. If he feels the need to let his daughter be a rude, self centered little brat to him then let him. When I asked recently on here what I should do, after disengaging with SD15 if she speaks to me disrespectfully and someone told me to respond to her in an age appropriate way that I would anyone else...for SD15's age I will just tell her to shut it.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:40pm

Thanks.. when she does it to me, I bulge my eyes out and walk away and never respond with a word. Sometimes, I put up a walk and say OMG!!!!!!!!!! AND REMOVE MYSELF FROM HER PRESENCE. She rarely does it to me. She is very nervy. She asked her dad to go up stairs and get her brush when she got out of the pool. He refused. Then she asked me. I got it and brought it down. I ate some nuts and had the shells in my hand and walked by her. She got nervy and said arent you going to brush my hair?! Sybil I swear. I said as soon as I put these shells down unless you want them in your hair.

A nice respectful girl should say, Will you brush my hair for me? But I shouldnt ever expect that bcuz her parents have taught her to be a nice girl.
I brushed her hair, and put down the brush and went on my way. I always show respect I wish she did.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 12:49pm

At 11, she should be getting her own brush and brushing her own hair.

My SDs are 5 and 7 and they both brush their own hair, so I don't think this is an age thing.

Madicakes's picture

Submitted by Madicakes on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 1:03pm

I agree...I think this is a control thing to show that she's the boss and to have the adults jumping through hoops for her. Wish I could say I never fell for it...lol.

Anne Boleyn's picture

Submitted by Anne Boleyn on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 1:25pm

My SD11 was just awful to FDH. Not only would she interupt but if asked to do anything she's yell and scream at him and throw massive trantrums. I've even seen her hit him.

I used to try to ignore it but I couldn't take it anymore. I told him he's teaching her she can speak to anyone, anyway she sees fit and she'll grow up to be have zero adult communication skills. I reminded him he's trying to raise productive, capable adults. I also told him that it makes me very upset to see anyone treating him that way. And it's absoultely ridiculous that he allows her to treat him so disrespectfully. He worked on it a lot and she is far better now.

ta5's picture

Submitted by ta5 on Fri, 05/03/2013 - 3:20pm

I live on tippie toes mise well call me cinderella. If I didnt get the brush and brush he hair I would be labeled as a wicked step mother NON CARING!!!!!!!!! He treats her like she is two! She is a princess and I am her maid. Its ok I get what I need out of it I am not complaining just relating! Dad has no boundaries so when she is here neither does anyone else

notmyspawn's picture

Submitted by notmyspawn on Sat, 05/04/2013 - 9:44am

I call Sk out on it when it is just the three of us. I usually say something like, "ya know, your dad is a good man who loves you very much and, he doesn't deserve your rudeness. that's not how people talk to people they love and who are so good to you." Usually knocks some temporary sense into them both temporarily Smile