Crazy update on the move from Easter
I have been so busy I wasn’t able to post my crazy update with BF’s move. Right before the move, SS went once again on his rhetoric about why BF has to move and why he can’t move back to the town that BM lives in (BM wants him to move back to their small town and has SS tell him SHOCKER) …
I gave BF CastleJJ’s advice, and for once he took it! He sat SS down and told him told him that he spent A LOT OF MONEY in legal expenses to try to stay in SS’s life, and BECAUSE he spent that money, he can no longer afford my current residence, and that’s why he is moving. He also told him with the amount of money he spent on legal expenses, they could have lived in a nice home, went on nice trips, and SS could get these expensive Vans (sneakers). BF said SS looked like he was really listening this time and it seemed to be sinking in.
SS then went to BM’s house. It was Monday after Easter, we were on the way to my parents house out of state. OUT OF NOWHERE, SS began texted BF while he was driving ONCE AGAIN questioning why BF can’t live in mom’s town. SS asked how much money do you have for rent? Have you even looked in this town? Have you called landlords and googled apartments in mom’s town? What have you done to find a place here (In mom’s town)?
The questioning got so bad we had to pull over on the highway as SS would not stop texting and was demanding INSTANT answers. BF texted him that he would rather talk face to face then text, then SS said, “No, answer me now. I want to talk RIGHT NOW so start explaining” (Why he can’t move to BM’s town and has he even looked for rentals in her town).
I told BF that this is fueled by BM to ruin his holiday and we need to appease SS to end this foolishness. I told him to tell SS that he will look again to find rentals in mom’s town. SS answered, “Ok, but let me know what you come up with, if I do not hear from you in an ample amount of time I will be very angry!”
Of course, I said to tell him that you don’t give a fu*#.....BF did not reply to that text…
When BF saw SS at the next visit, told him not to text him that way ever again. He told him he has moved and that is that. SS got angry and began yelling when BF said, “OK, since you don’t want to be here I’m taking you back to mom.”
SS said no, he wants his visit. BF told him to shape up your attitude or you can stay with your mom permanently. SS seemed to shape up rather quickly….
The rest of the visit was good, BM decided to get TWO bunnies…Waited until SS’s visit with dad and asked SS if he wanted to see them. She offered to pick up SS and drop him off after seeing the bunnies (She hasn’t been at his new place yet and NEVER picks up/drops off SS) and BF said absolutely not, I’ll drop him off to you so he can see the bunnies and I will food shop. SS went to her house to play with the bunnies and BF got him after. This woman is a serious fu@*ing joke. Well, That’s my crazy update in regards to the move!
Remind me
Remind me, how old is SS? Sounds like your BF is getting firmer with him, better late than never. The little sh×t, how dare he speak to his dad like that.
He is 16
I know, i cannot stand the way SS talks, My kids would NEVER speak that way to me or to thier dad! BF is getting firm with him, as it took him losing everything for this kid and he treats him like that.
BM coaching
It sounds like BM might be coaching SS. The questions he texted aren't typical of a 16yo's understanding.
She is coaching
him somewhat, but he has always been demanding like this. They both treated him like a freind. When I first began dating SO, we had a surprise birthday party to his favorite amusement park. When he found out he started saying loudly, "Fu*& yeah!" and SO did not bat an eye....he was only like 11..
Oh yikes! He spent a fortune
Oh yikes! He spent a fortune in legal fees trying to get more custody of a 16 year old? Did SS ask him to do it/tell so he wanted to spend more time with him?
This custody battle has
been going on FOR YEARS....He had custody of SS when she ran off with a married man. I came into the picture and we were hanging out with SS and my kids. He loved me and my kids. She got dumped and came back, saw I was in the picture, told SO to leave me or he would never see SS again. When SO refused, she turned SS against me and refused to let SO see SS. I have not seen SS in years...At first SS said he wanted to be with SO (But only if he dumped me) but now that he won 50/50, SS is refusing to follow the order.
All this talk about moving
All this talk about moving back to BM's town is obviously fueled by BM (if it isn't BM herself texting off SS' phone). I'm sure BM has delusionally told SS that if BF moved back to BM's town, there is a chance they could get back together and all would be right in the world (especially since BM thinks you and BF are done). Or BM is using the whole "your life will be so much easier if both parents live in the same town," trying to say that BF will be even more involved due to proximity. It's all about control. If BF is closer, BM has more ability to make his life hell. Honestly, us living local to BM was the worst thing that ever happened to us. When BM moved SS out of state, we were devastated, but now we realize it was the BEST thing that ever could have happened.
Your BF should have never appeased SS and discussed the idea of looking again. Children don't get to make adult decisions. Instead of responding like that to cease conversation, BF should have responded that the topic is not up for discussion and no longer responded. Your BF has provided SS with plenty of reasoning for his actions. He owes SS nothing. And how DARE SS think that he can respond "I better hear from you or I'll be very angry." SS does not have a right to ask about BF's finances, especially when you know that is BM fishing for information. Again, SS isn't in a position of authority and needs to be made very clear on that.
BM is very clearly trying to meddle in BF's personal life by trying to drop by the apartment, trying to interfere with BF's time, etc. The firmer the boundaries BF puts in place, the better.
I'm not sure if BM wants to
I'm not sure if BM wants to get back together, but I DO KNOW when they both lived in the same town she had her lemmings follow us around, drive by his house (She drove by also) she showed up for a cookout he was having and started a fight out front (My kids and I were in the backyard she didn't know we were there at the time). Everytime someone saw us together, SS would yell at him for hanging out with me as I am a nurse and would get everyone Covid and his grandparent would die. She also threatened to sue me if she got covid and tried to get my financial records for CS even tho we don't live together (Judge told her no)...
Well, if she doesn't want to
Well, if she doesn't want to get back together with BF, she clearly just lives to make his life hell then. And in such a creepy and stalkerish way. Gross.
OMG.. how your BF needs to find some balls.
smh
Airplane mode solves this problem while you are on a weekend. Check messages once or twice a day for 15mins and only reply to what YOU deem worthy of response.
This skid owns your BF's testicles, and by extension, so does your BF's X.
What could possibly keep you in this relationship? By extension, SS and BM own you too.
smh
Thx I love that idea!
Thx I love that idea!
Why is your SO allowing this
He said NO. He's not moving to BM town, he must inform SS. That BF makes the decision with his SO in where to live. His SO one doesn't want to be that near BM. He must used his money to support his family ,, and spend his money how he sees fit. Plus. No means No
I kind of like the idea of SS
I kind of like the idea of SS finally connecting the dots and realising that BM spoiled any chance of them getting back together when she made him fritter away his money by keeping him in court ... and telling BM so.
Thank you
After BF had a talk with SS, he has been better. He said he loves the new apartment and the area. They can walk to a few nice restaurants, there are other teens his age that he is making freinds with, and a basketball court. But now he is with BM so we will see how long it lasts...
More important
How do you fit in, to all of this. SS is never going to like you... You will be blamed for his BF moving away to be with you.
You will never be invited to holidays with SS. Graduation,wedding, GK. Some of this you will be paying for. Directly or indirectly.
Is your BF going to say SS must respect you. Is your BF ready to have Christmas /. Christmas type holiday with out SS. Because it's going to be you or SS. ??
You must have this discussion with BF, He has to understand that he most likely not going to have it his way. "Happy Family". You, him, SS. You can have a baby and start your own happy family. All of this must be discussed now, before this relationship goes any farther.
SS May cone around. But not likely with BM in his ears
Hes still a jerk
As nice as he is "acting" now, as this location is still fresh.
Egads, I cant imagine how ss will act in the future when his dad doesnt just automatically respond in timely maner because you know, life.