Court or no court, that is the question.
Back story: bm lives wither parents. Deadbeat. Parents fight DH for gp rights. Bm has a pending abuse case for infant child (not ss11). Supervised visits, mandatory anger management, parenting, and co parenting classes. Bm also does drugs in front of him. Long story longer, the GAL not only does not deem it an "unsafe" environment, but he also wants to work out a deal to include more visitation. Our lawyer seems to not be up for fighting his decision. We have been battling this every 6 months for the past 5 years. It has taken a toll on everyone in our small family.
The question: roll the dice and go before a judge? Or settle it out of court.
Ugh! This happened every time. They bring us to court on some bogus thing then settle. Never before a judge. Gp is a disbarred lawyer and is trying to suck us dry! Bm NEVER needs a lawyer. So frustrating. Court is scheduled a week from today. Oh and did I mention we relocated out of state so now we have to travel 7 hours! The judge stopped visitation until the hearing and the GAL MADE us fly ss there for a weekend to do his 2 hour observation! The GAL only spoke to ss in bm's house. He also yelled at DH for trying to have him travel in and out in one day. Even tho' his secretary and our lawyer stated that he did not have to be unsupervised (when they were requesting that we travel 16 hours round trip for his observation). We feel like we are being back into a corner. I will of course back dh's decision. And ss will only get older. He will soon see that it is them. Advice?
Never ever agree to
Never ever agree to grandparent visitation. It is rarely ordered especially if BM is alive and able to have them visit when she does. Most states don't recognize them - it is the parents right to decide who their children spend time with. PA does where I live - the only case I've heard of Grandmom - whose son died - got 6 hours every three months. They will pressure you to settle because courts don't like to order visitation for anyone but a parent.
http://www.grandparents.com/family-and-relationships/grandparents-rights...
The visitation is for her.
The visitation is for her. Our states don't acknowledge grandparents rights either. They are fighting because the mom doesn't. We brought up the pending abuse case and drugs and "bm" aka grandpa
is trying to get more time. We would prefer less time or even supervised visitation since she is supervised with her other child. How can a parent be deemed harmful to only one of their children? She doesn't have custody of either! Let me clarify, go's filed for visitation because they were mad that we moved. Bm lives with them. They see him as much as his bio mom! Of course the go rights thing has no bearing. We just so happened to find out all of this abuse stuff and contacted our lawyers before we even knew about the gp's taking us to court. When we went to court we presented the abuse allegations and drug usage and requested less visitation time. The GAL seems as tho' our case is a waste of time. Despite the evidence. And having only spoken with the bm and ss for 1.5 hours. While together. Seems shady.
Go to court. We settled last
Go to court. We settled last time and have regretted it every day since. We went from BM being supervised in our city, to now driving an hour every exchange for her to have the kids for a night. Don't settle.
First, hire a PI. Get proof
First, hire a PI. Get proof of drug use. Go before a judge. Talk to the jude directly. If it seems judge won't listen to reason, ask for a trail by jury. Stop settling with these people.
I'd agree with others, and
I'd agree with others, and I'd also think carefully about getting a new lawyer. If this one "isn't up for fighting" for you, I think you need to find one who IS. Don't go to court with a lawyer who's going to half-ass everything, that could be worse than going alone!
The reason why your lawyer
The reason why your lawyer doesn't want to fight it, is because he or she knows what is going to happen in court. 9 times out of 10 the court will do what the GAL recommends.
Thanks! I totally agree with
Thanks! I totally agree with ALL statements. Court is Thursday and we are going. It is time to quite settling.
SOOOOOOOO, we have been
SOOOOOOOO, we have been advised to settle. Even though DH specifically stated that we did not want to. All I know is that this is the last time, now if they want to try anything they have to file in our state and make the 9 hour trip themselves!!! Sometimes ya just gotta choose which hill ya want to die on I spose.
Take it to court with every
Take it to court with every ounce of information damning BM for being unfit, a drug adict, loosing her infant child, and ..... all records of GP's disbarment.
Judges tend to not look lightly upon corrupt or unethical lawyers and disbarment in the legal field is a big deal and a very damnin cross to bear.
Bare their asses!!!