Could “Insecurity” cause teen to be clingy needy for DH?
SS13 is two months from turning 14. Since about 11 SS has been Increasingly clingy needy regarding DH. When we have SS13 the first thing he does when he wakes up in the morning is hunt DH down. Then he will just stand next to him with a Creepy smile or/and make weird Whiny noises until DH says good morning. Then SS will want a two minute hug. When DH brings SS back to BM SS needs a two minute hug BEFORE leaving our house and once they get to BM's(10 mins drive) DH will need to get out of the car to hug SS again and then wave to SS once he walks to the door. SS13 is NOT like this with BM.
At BM's SS spends most of his time in his room watching tv or playing Video Games. At our house SS has NEVER played in his room after age 10 or 11. He has a tv and Electronics in his room that he's never used. Reason is SS needs to be within earshot if not in the same room as DH.
It's NOT that SS13 dislikes BM or likes DH better. SS will defended BM Fiercely if DH even says anything remotely negitive about BM.
Does this sound like SS13 could be Insecure regarding DH for some reason?
I think his hitting you is a
I think his hitting you is a bigger problem. Why allow yourself to be abused like this?
This kid is peeing on his
This kid is peeing on his territory to mark it clearly for you to understand that daddy is his.
To me worrying about the why of inappropriate behaviors is a waste of time. All I really care about is the what. The what being the crappy behavior. So, I apply escalating misery inducing consequences until the kid makes better choices. The goal being that the kid stops the behavior and learns not to repeat that crap. Why they stop..... really does not matter to me. That they stop is what matters to me.
IMHO too many adults go down the rabbit hole of why instead of immediately and directly confronting the what.
You and your DH need to end this clingy territory marking crap from SS-13 now regardless of why he is choosing this annoying crap.
All IMHO of course.
Why is it always SM that have
Why is it always SM that have to put up with this from both SSs and SDs. I had to deal with the same issue when SSs were younger. Funny enough they didn't give a darn what BM did and who she did it with.
Are you aware by around age
Are you aware by around age 11, 12--kids naturally begin moving away from their parents.
Behind every kid who acts like this, there is a bm who is suggesting it.
THIS has nothing to do with insecurity.
JMO
Big nope on BM behind this
BM HATES DH as much as DH hates her. BM would never encourage SS to be clingy towards DH. As much as I hate BM I can't Blame her for this
I was going to say the same
I was going to say the same thing. This is not normal behaviour and as a parent I would be trying to address this; maybe in a gentle way and then in a more firm way. Nobody needs their space invaded, it doesn't matter the age of thr person doing the invading and children also need to understand the boundaries of SPACE.