My DH and skid' BM definitely do "parallel" parenting. I know that some people can do co-parenting successfully but it seems to require two sane responsible people, my skids' BM Is neither. Likewise, I think that if the DH doesn't have good boundaries or is used to BM "calling the parenting shots" then it may look like "co-parenting" but in reality it is just him bending over backwards for BM to avoid conflict, etc. I think for many couples there is too much conflict and crisis in the beginning any way for this to work (maybe down the road for some?)

Early on after BM and DH's separation that is exactly what DH did. He tried to keep the peace and appease BM while forcing a smile on his face. He even let her continue to live in his house for nearly a year after they decided to separate (While he was waiting for the divorce to officially go through). Under the surface he was steaming and buying his time until she signed the papers. HE didn't want to risk a contested custody/ divorce case with her. She was so stupid and happy with the arrangement--- she wanted to do all of the fun kid things, be there for all of the memories, but have none of the responsibilities. By then she had signed the divorce papers and was all moved out, finally DH was able to start telling her no and confronting the crap she was doing to skids. Why wouldn't she have wanted that to continue forever? She got to have fun and pretend like the was a parent while DH did all of the heavy lifting (Financial support, bailing her out when something came up on "her time," even providing her with housing! it makes me sick to think about it, stupid bitch. but my dh and I had the last laugh. I wish it could be better, but there's no way in hell that I would attempt anything but parallel parenting with her.