Christmas day BM vent
So DH and BM switch xmas every other year - this year, BM had SD on xmas eve until supposed to be noon on xmas day, then DH is supposed to get her.
BM didn't answer her phone to set up the exact meeting time last night and never returned DH's call until just now (9am).
Mind you, she lives 1.5 hour away from us & they are supposed to meet halfway to exchange skid.
So she says she doesn't think she will be able to meet DH halfway because her mom isn't talking to her and she doesn't think she will let her use the car (yes.. she is almost 30 and lives with her mom and drives her mom's car).
So basically if DH wants SD, he will have to drive 3 hours (1.5 hour each way) to get her. HELLO BM WE HAVE PLANS. We don't have time to drive 3 hours on freakin xmas day.
I don't even know if the story about her mom & the car is true, nor do I really care.. but I think she is just trying to mess up our plans.
What a piece of shit.
I am fuming right now.
No, it doesn't. It just says
No, it doesn't. It just says every other year they have xmas eve until noon on xmas day and then switch. Nothing about transportation.
Update: DH just left. He left
Update: DH just left. He left me alone on xmas morning to drive 3 hours to get SD. After he left, he called me & said "don't be pissed off, okay?" I just replied umm no.. I am pissed off. Told him the whole thing is f'ing stupid & they need to just switch every other year & not do this crap on xmas day. I am getting sick of it. I told DH when we have a kid of our own this shit is not going to fly. Omg I am FURIOUS right now.
Yeah, I wouldn't expect
Yeah, I wouldn't expect anything less. It's all about skid.
Don't get me wrong, I'm furious with BM, not with SD. I have no problem with SD being here, especially on xmas. DH is happier when she's here. I am just beyond irritated that BM waited until 9am on xmas morning to say she wasn't going to be able to meet DH halfway.
I told DH he better leave now if he's driving all the way down there to get SD because we have shit to do.
Not a happy morning for you.
Not a happy morning for you. I can really understand being angry over watching DH spend his day driving all over. However (yeah, there's always that damn 'but'), think how grumpy and PIA Dh would be if he didn't get to have his kiddo today. He'd be insufferable and ruin the whole day for everyone.
Since this holiday is going so poorly with first not answering phone then not following the 1/2 order, it's time to make sure it doesn't happen again. Modify the order to reflect a more agreeable Christmas exchange. Whether it's trading years or whatever. Tell DH he has to have holiday court orders that are fair to both child and the mom and dad. Help him figure out the suggested change so that you know his proposed changes work for you too. You and DH are in this together so what affects DH/SD also affects you.
When he gets back, try not to carry on the anger or fighting. Yeah, easier said than done I know. But what you should make clear is this will not happen again and he better use this new year cleaning up an modifying this BS type of happenings. If the CO is not working, he fixes it.
I hope the rest of your Christmas works ok and you end up getting to enjoy your family and celebration. There's nothing easy trying to make two different household events work smoothly, all we can do is get solid COs and stick to the orders.
Hugs and Merry Christmas to you.
Thank you. Merry Christmas to
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you all too!
The CO was put in place when SD was 1 year old and she is almost 6 now. The custody agreement in the CO is not even what they do anymore. It's been changed (between the 2 of them) twice since the CO was made. I have been telling DH he needs to have it modified but he has not done it. He just does whatever BM wants to make his life easier. For example, we have SD about 80-90% of the time but get no child support. He does not even stop to consider how it all affects me. THAT is why I get pissed.