I think that it depends on your particular situation, but if you are alone with the skids, and discipline is needed, you (as the authority figure, parent figure) should be able to take appropriate action, even if it is just temporary until the BP can step in and deal with it. In our house, I deal with SD more than either of her BP's. She lives with me and her BD full time, doesn't even visit her BM in the summers anymore. When something happens that calls for discipline, I hand it out. When BD gets home, I fill him in on what is going on and we talk about what the next step should be and go from there. If we disagree about something, we never let her know about it. We always present a united front with her and work out our differences when it comes to parenting and discipline behind closed doors. There is no reason whatsoever for a child to be allowed to overrun an adult. If that is allowed, chaos will surely follow.

When it comes to discipline, there are many types. You can have general house rules, etc...that is usually common ground between you and your DH. However, anything further than that is really up to the bio parents. Afterall, this is their child. You can play a supporting role, but they have to make the decisions.

Then you have other discipline (time out, how to handle freshness, breaking curfue, etc) "other" discipline is really up to the parents. Otherwise, the children will get very confuesed if you start changing the rules.

When my SS's came to live with us, (yes, it's my house..and I'm the owwner, and pay the bills) but I had to work within the confines of what the parenting plan is for them. It wasn't easy, and I didn't always agree...however, I had to accept that it wasn't my decision. My DH and do discuss things, but in the end, he has the final say as they are his children. To attempt to undermine him would be very bad for our relationship.

These are just suggestions and you should talk with your SO to see what his expectations are.

well, i'm not saying i should discipline.... but if i'm in a real bad mood and either ass gnat or dh push my buttons -- shit hits the fan....... or last weekend for example ss10 fucked up (different story -- playing dh against bm crap) ~~ anyhoo, i went to his room and asked him a question semi-regarding his fuckup and he wouldn't answer or look at me -- completely ignoring me and playing with his ipod/station -- i told him to answer me or i was taking it away. he didn't answer me and started crying, so i yanked the cord out of the wall took it out of his hands and that was that.... dh asked me what happened, i told him, so he ran back to the room for damage assessment i guess.... but he didn't say shit to me.....

I informed my husband, his ex and his mother that I will not be held accountable for any children that I am not allowed to discipline...therefore, they should stay with their BIO mom until they no longer need to be disciplined...they all changed their tune pretty fast after that!