No, I'd go ballistic on him if it were me. But good luck convincing him of that. Separate b-day parties, or one party and one small get together. They are not a family any more. He needs to get that through his thick skull. A major insult to you and you shouldn't stand for it. If he wants to hang with the ex and play family again he can, he just needs to remain single.

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Married men are NOT allowed to date their exes.

Ah, simple. NO!!!

Letting those kids pretend they are a regular family isn't even healthy for them.

I don't have this problem. My BM has no reflection therefore no photographs.

Although your spouse, his ex wife, and kids may view it as acceptable, I feel this is very disrespectful to you. It is erroneously portraying to the world that they are still a couple, and I feel it may make it difficult for certain kids to adjust to divorce. The number one wish of most kids from broken homes is that their parents will get back together, and taking photos together like a family can garner false hope.

The true picture of your family is now a blended one. That means if there are ANY photos taken with your husband, ex wife, and kids together, you should be included. This communicates to the children and ex wife that you are an important, indispensible member of the family. The option I prefer is to have separate family photos.

Unless you have to work or are sick, I would also recommend attending events with your husband like this in the future. After all, you are also an important member of the family. There is an old phrase, "keep your eye on your luggage" that my grandmother passed down to my mother and I. I personally am not concerned if the ex wife is amiable or if she appears happy in her new relationship (you did not comment on her relationship status in your first post, so I am just making a point that her current situation or behavior doesn't affect my advice). It's about firmly communicating with your presence that you are the present and she is the past. Some people would say that this means you do not trust your husband. However, this has to do with setting boundaries. I have noticed that some ex wives will overstep their boundaries. Some of them feel entitled to ask for certain things, or fail to respect that their ex husbands are in new relationships, because they 'came first' or have children together. Yes, current wives should respect exes as the mothers of their spouse's kids, but allowing anything beyond caring for the health and welfare of the kids could be overstepping your boundaries as the current wife. Taking separate photos with the kids would not have scarred them for life. It doesn't matter if others posted whether or not they found it acceptable. This comes down to what you can handle as the current wife, and it is obvious that this situation bothers you.

If he is like a lot of men, he is going to argue that he was in the right when you address this situation with him. Perhaps he will never agree to cease taking photos with his ex wife and kids as a family, so you might have better luck asking him to be included in the future. If you take this approach, you are not obstructing a way of doing things that work for your spouse and ex wife, but you are simply asking to be included as an important member of the family.

I would be seriously pissed off as well!!

My DH did that to me last year. Went to BM's house and partied with her and the kids the entire day. I broke up with him. I couldn't handle the thought of them playing at being one happy family, when in reality, they weren't.

I then posted on here and got some pretty damned solid advice! Majority of the posters agreed that it was disrespectful to our relationship - and it was!! I printed out the responses and emailed it to him. Along with a couple of links about being a disney parent. He realised I was right. He realised that he was actually showing the kids a fake front. He was not helping them deal emotionally with the fact that he was now completely separate from their Mom and her new partner. They had to learn all over again, how to deal with their parents separating. This after being divorced for over 5 years.

Best thing you can do for a child of divorce is be as honest and upfront with them as you can. That means showing them reality for what it is. If you're divorced, then celebrations, family get-togethers etc will be separate from now onwards. Prolonging it only causes confusion and grief.

DH talked me into giving our relationship another go. He now puts me first as his priority and the kids are his first responsibiity. We do things together - with him and I - not with him and ex-BM.

Sooner your partner realises this and starts to support you and gets his kids to start accepting his divorce/separation, the sooner you can both start getting on with making your relatinship strong and solid.