BM got a taste of MY power today

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So we went to SGS's Baptism today, along with all the friends of SSIL, his parents, BM and her SO, FIL and DH's sister

BM was up to her usual nonsense

Too bad for her I'm so on to her now, too bad for her I've lost my patience and tolerance for her repeatedly crossing the line. Too bad for her I'm just not fall over backwards nice about it all any longer

She starts with jumping in-between FIL and I to say hello to FIL. Big happy greeting, hug, etc.. etc... it sort of made me laugh because she couldn't have been more obvious or deliberate. She couldn't have spoken to him any other time other than when he turned to chat with me of course

But, my FIL is truly the best LOL.

He greets her back, very friendly and upbeat. Says "Hi BM, how are you, nice to see you" then turns and looks back in my direction, says "and how are you doing Disillusioned?" and then immediately starts into a conversation with me "how's your mother dear" "how are you feeling" "how's the physio going" yada yada. He chatted with me non stop before the ceremony, then again the moment it was done. Pretty much ignoring BM, DH and DH's sister altogether. DH finally cut in on discussion when it was time to leave the Church to go to OSD's house

When we get there BM and OSD are still up to their stupidness. BM constantly hovering around us, staring at DH. She can't enter or leave the room without looking over to see if DH is noticing. Or if DH and I are together chatting, I look up and there is BM planted right across from us just staring. DH ignores her, and I try my best, but a couple times I looked directly at her because she was the first person I happened to see whenever I looked away from a conversation with DH. One time BM seemed to get the message and walked away after I looked over to see her staring in our direction watching every word coming out of our mouthes and every interaction between us. So weird!

Then DH asks OSD for a measuring spoon on my behalf (he has to watch what he eats right now so I needed it to measure the dip we brought for him) OSD goes to get the spoon but rather than bringing it over herself she hands the spoon the BM instead, asks her to bring it over to DH and so BM walks up to us, gets in real close to DH and tells him that here is spoon it's a half tablespoon so he can have two of those (not that she even knew what he could or coudn't have)

DH's reaction was priceless. He just stood there staring at her, completely wordless. After a few seconds when she realizes he has nothing much to say to her she turns to me and says "Disillusioned, here is the spoon for DH. It's a half tablespoon, so you can give him two of these" And she actually says it to me like she is his wife still, and I'm the hired help or something too! I just stood there and looked at her as well. Honestly I wasn't trying to be rude but I don't believe I answered her either. I knew OSD deliberately handed the spoon we needed for DH to BM, and sent her to us 'with instructions' just to stir the pot.

I finally said, okay DH this is a half tablespoon so you can have four of these, as BM was walking away.

Then when DH is talking to his sister, BM comes hurrying up to jump in on the convo. She knew I was off chatting with someone else and within seconds OSD is there too, so now they can have a nice 'family' chit-chat with DH. Fortunately DH turned away and started talking with someone else, and BM didn't look too happy about that at all. She has done this at family get togethers in the past, waits for the second I'm not beside DH then her and SD's along with DH's sister all gather in a circle around DH and of course for me to then walk up and join in is uncomfortable. In the past DH would be oblivious and I would be steaming, but he gets it now and I'm sure the moment BM and OSD started to pull this today, that was why he did that. They like to gather around him and have these "family" discussions with him, and of course it makes me feel like the outsider especially when they bring up old memories, etc.. I'm glad DH is now 'trained' enough not to get into it with them any longer LOL

BM was constantly hovering, staring, trying to listen in on our conversations and just being a pain all afternoon. It's funny because in the past I would have been so nice and welcoming to her. I would listen to all the old family memories and stuff about when her and DH were married. I'm amazed at how tolerant and nice I was about it. But I so see through her now and she just didn't get a chance this time round. Normally at these gatherings I would chit-chat with BM, big hello, big hug good-bye.

No more

I politely said a friendly hello when I saw her, and other than a polite good-bye as we walked out the door, that was the extent of our conversation.

I think she was a little confused as to why all the usual nonsense was not happening. That she didn't get to hang around DH bringing up old memories all day. That she wasn't welcomed into our discussions with others. That neither DH or I gave her any big hugs hello or good-bye, or said much to her at all. And that's the way it should be

Her loss

She blew it with crossing the line far too many times. I'm a really forgiving and tolerant person, but when I'm done, I'm really done. And the valuable lesson she learned today is that she has far less power in these situations than she thought she did. And and ya, don't mess with Disillusioned because if you continue to do so, you'll be the one out in the cold not her

Bravo D!!!!! Well played.

Bravo D!!!!! Well played. Taking their power, living well, being happy.... are the best revenge. You delivered it in Spades. DH and FIL played their roles well also. Make sure to thank them both for making you feel so welcome and part of the family. Smart men. Both of them. I know it took a while but it does speak very well to their character.

I am sure that BM and OSD were both fit to be tied and spent countless hours tearing their hair and gnashing their teeth after everyone else left. It sounds that SIL may be a bit more in tune than those two but no doubt her brother turning his back on the three of them to engage in conversation with someone else got her bloomers in a bunch too.

I love it.

}:) }:) }:)

I have never had a filter

I have never had a filter when a woman tries to poach on my man. In college a ho-bag was trying to put the moves on my boyfriend. She came up to us one time and asked if she could join us. I had no problem with saying "No". She could not believe that I said that, but she went away. Others were in shock that I was so "rude" to her.

But I did not consider it rude at all. No use in being "nice" to someone who is out to do you harm.

Now I do not think that BM would ever do anything like that as her DH has her on a tight leash. But I still have no desire to ever be in her presence. Not necessarily because of her - but because I really want nothing to do with SS30. He never finished high school - so no graduations to deal with. He might marry baby mama some day - but I will find some excuse to be "busy".

Well done! And I think your

Well done! And I think your FIL deserves a big ole smooch and a cookie for looking out for your interests.

Now you and your DH need to prepare for the bad behavior to ramp up. BM, SIL, & OSD are probably gnashing their teeth that their usual tricks didn't pan out, and they will be be trying to come up with new ways to wage war with you. Forewarned is forearmed.

good for you D - and I really

good for you D - and I really like your FIL.....

poor poor BM not the middle point any more.

Classic: "'Disillusioned,

Classic: "'Disillusioned, here is the spoon for DH. It's a half tablespoon, so you can give him two of these.' And she actually says it to me like she is his wife still, and I'm the hired help or something too!" Unfortunately, no one but a SM and a wise DH would recognize her actions for exactly what they were--BM trying to assert to all that she is wife #1 and you are wife #2.

It is indeed wonderful DH has your back now, and you can go to these events and feel confident. For others, if DH doesn't have your back or you have to worry about DH having your back, it is completely SM's choice if she wants to go to these events or not. Some SMs can take the little digs and insinuations of being low on the pole and others cannot, nor should they be expected to. There is no high road in letting others treat you like a doormat.

Also, for those who say, "Don't take such things personally". . . To me, this would be the equivalent of someone beating the crap out of you, literally, and then someone else turning around and saying, "Oh, don't take it personally." Doesn't work that way. If you are stabbed in the back, poked in the eye, and have your feet stomped on, the reason doesn't matter, you are going to take it personally! And, there is no way in H- you have to put up with that. As a matter of fact, you'd be nuts if you did so. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.