I don't want BM to know anything about our lives. She does know where we live, unfortunately, and I am sure she drove by at least once to see what kind of house we live in. Luckily, she never stalked us or anything!

All I can say is, thank God SD is now an adult (and I use the word very loosely).

The key is just not to obsess too much about it, then you are giving her the power. Keep what you can from her but don't worry too much about it and just live your life. Easier said then done, I know.

My Fiance and I plan to marry next year and I personally do not want her knowing where we live because our lives and how we live and what we have are NONE OF HER BUSINESS. PERIOD.

When pick ups and drop offs take place, we will meet in a neutral, public place. Skid is 10 so I have no doubt that her little "Spies-like-us" son will be reporting back to her especially since she is the persistent drill sargent type. If my Fiance asks skid anything and then drops skid off BM will be blowing up his/our phone with texts in a matter of 10 minutes or LESS asking him what his problem is or why is he asking skid this or that etc. She is just pathetic and I will NOT put up with her stupid ass once him and I are married! If her kid is going to stir up shit and say shit to BM about our business etc then I know my Fiance will back me up and tell BM/skid that when he has skid he will be staying elsewhere because he is NOT going to ruin our happy home and lives because they are miserable POS!!!

Our CO makes it mandatory for us to provide our address to her. It was written in there because she's military and wouldn't hesitate to bounce the kids around and never tell us where she's going.

She has been to my house once. She knows better than to come anywhere near my front door.

Both parents have the right to know where their children are. And I am pretty sure my husband's court order says the same.

I know plenty of people who do drop off/pick up in a neautral location. I am a BM with sole custody, my ex doesn't have visitation, so this isn't something I deal with, but if I did I believe I would want to at least know where my child was going to, so that in the even tof an emergancy, even if I had never before darkened my ex's front door, I could go get my child.

As a SM, I don't like the fact that Lacy McCrazy knows where I live or comes to my house for pick ups and drop offs, but A)it is court ordered that she know our address and that all pick ups and drop offs occur at the home address and I would understand as a mother myself her wanting to know where her child was.

That being said, Lazy McCrazy is the non-custodial parent and rarely exercises her right to be a mother at all, so I don't have to deal with her too much.

She knows the city we live in, because it's the same as hers, unfortunately - but does not know the apartment complex. And SD's been here of course, but she's as dumb as a box of rocks and couldn't find her way out of a paper bag.

I say the less they know, the better.

~Mel

I would think she likely already knows where you live. SD is 12 I am sure she has told Bm what street at least that you live on? Or even the name of the complex you live in.

I don't want BM to know anything about us. To be fair, I don't want to know anything about her either.

BM is money hungry and insanely jealous. She PAS'd the kids over the type of wedding we had. Apparently a 60 guest wedding and a long weekend honeymoon is a huge deal to her, because she and her H had to get married in their front yard and they couldn't afford a honeymoon. So she flipped the f*ck out on the kids and on us.

So we figure, the less she knows the better. I've already made it clear to my H that BM is never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, etc. to step foot in our home. I will NOT have her in here getting all jealous and freaking out about the stuff that I worked hard to buy. BM lives in abject poverty. However, I don't feel sorry for her, because she chooses it. If she didn't mind living in poverty, I quite imagine she would get a J-O-B so that she could afford nicer things. Be that as it may, she doesn't really look at it like that. Instead, she thinks that it is OUR responsibility to make sure SHE gets new clothes and a nicer car to drive.

Yeah, for real. I don't know how my H didn't throw up on her when she started in on that particular conversation.

I wish I had this dilemma. BM lives right around the corner...

The only reason why DH lived a few blocks away from BM was because it was so convenient for drop off and pick up since SD was alternating every other DAY in the beginning.

Once he and I met and our relationship became serious, his lease came up and I said "there's no way I want to continue to be this close to BM - we need to work something out". So we looked for another apartment close but not that close, because SD still wanted every other day visitation. Once we moved about 6 miles away, DH put a stop to the every other day shit and started following the court order of every other week.

So, in his case it was convenient to live that close but once we were seriously involved, he moved a little further away. Now, we're planning to move from Denver to Virginia so we'll be good and FAR from them both!

~Mel

CS ended a month ago (YAY), but by law, BM had to have our address when DH was still paying. We made sure that all three skids knew we have security cameras and live next door to a cop. BM has never shown up here, probably bc she has no money and cannot afford the gas-40 minute trip with traffic. I am hopeful she never comes here.

we live 5 towns over away from one another an she has my mothers address as she is a cop an when i first got with my partner an were renting my mothers guest house she tried to cause alot of drama so my mother had arrested her for trespass and all but she had that address but now that is just our postal address she doesnt have our new address yet an the court only needed our postal address were not sure if we will give the new one or not but she isnt a drama queen anymore we get along very well with the bm so its good an alot easier but still nice to have our house to us an not bring his ex there so not sure if we will be telling