:O Hello everybody,
I'm a bio mom of 2 toddlers. DH has a daughter(9) from a previous relationship. We've been together in total of 4 years. We got married 2 years ago.
Ever since I moved in with DH (or even before) SD has been alienated from us. His ex has so much hate towards DH and me, maybe because he never married her I dont know but whats sickening is that she is poising SD and making her not want to come over anymore.

This has been going on for so long, I mean BM got her a phone when she was 6 to take pics around our house and to voice record us. She used have her write down notes of what she hear us talking. Its just been nothing but constant drama in the past 4 years. And I believe the issue is from 1 that DH left her with a child and 2 that I am a lot younger than her (im in my 20s and shes in her 40s. DH is also in his 40s). In my opinion she is jelous of me and our marriage. On the other side I believe something is wrong with her mentally because when we were getting married she asked SD for the name of the place were getting married and they drove to it. On our honeymoon she created so much drama of why we didnt take SD with us. Can you believe this??
She also celebrated her anniversary there with her husband that she married a week after we got married (they werent even engaged). She moved about 5 mins away from us. She doesnt want to work because she wants to be a stay home mom like me. I got a black SUV she got a black SUV. Shes constantly emailing DH about me badmouthing me and let me tell you I have seen the woman maybe 3 times) Just little things like that has made me wonder if shes all there. I remember when SD was 5 her bunnies died and BM told them that she threw them in the trash but that theyre in heaven and happy. Who tells their child that??

Last year DH took her back to court to reduce CS and boy did she try to throw us on the street. We were ordered to pay her attorneys fees (about $7000) and that put a financial stress on us. Now that her CS is reduced shes still trying to get money out of us. Shes been contacting Child Support Services saying that DH over the years has been shorting her on CS and the total is $15,000 which is a lie. Shes just testing the system. She also filed falsley for unemployment and she collected some money and she had to pay it back.

Her lates was that SD's gymnastics class is not "good enough" and that she found a better place and she had the balls to ask DH to pay $200 a month. He rejected her telling her that his CS of $800 a month should cover that. So her response was "Is that your decision or your wife's? She just has so much anger towards me.
SD now hasnt been to our house in over a month. And I am at fault again. We are going to my parents for the holidays (xmas and new years) and Sd found out that we are not taking her with us (we have her xmas eve but not xmas and new years) so she told DH that I hurt her feelings by telling her that shes not part of our family. I never said that. Thats all coming from BM trying to cause problems again. So now, after a month of all of us not seeing her and DH just talking to her on the phone and shes been saying things like she hates us and hates our rules and that she hates that we always make her share with her siblings. She tells him she feels like cindarella at our house. And let me tell you, when shes here yes theres rules for all of us but we treat her so nice and DH even plays with her one on one. Shes constantly leaving him voicemails saying that she wants it to be like when it was just him and her before he was married.

So just last week she saw him for the first time. He sees her for 1 hour on his time (we have her eow and wednesdays). So basically he is telling her that we miss her and that we want her to start coming over again. Tomorrow were planing on finally meeting up all together, DH will pick her up and I will meet them some place without her knowing and we will all talk. I just dont know if shes ready. Last week when DH saw her for the first time after the lates drama she told him that she hates me with all of her guts and that if she sees me shell run away from me:( So I am not sure if shes ready yet to see me and the kids too. On the other side in my opinion the longer she spends time with just him shes getting used to and being comfortable being away from us. She is seeing a councelor at school and DH said that from their conversation last night it sounds like her councelor has been telling her that soon she has to be back to our family.

I want the best for SD and don't want her to have anxiety when she sees all of us because apperantly BM has done a number on her this time and DH said that when he saw her last week she was shacking and the whole time she had tears in her eyes. That breaks my heart that an innocent child is a victim and she is suffering because of her insane BM.

P.S. BM is so manipulative that she even brainwashed my MIL to a point where MIL didn't come to our wedding. MIL didn't meet our first child until she was about 8 months old. DH didnt speak to his mom for almost a year because she came over to our house trying to throw me out (I was 3 months pregnant).

Thats just a drop in the ocean from my life in the past 4 years.