Bio Mom Creating lots of Holiday Drama!
I am so sick of my SD mother messing with me and my husband around the Holidays! It happens every year! I wish she would just get over herself. She is the kind of person that thrives on creating drama for other people!
My husband has joint custody of his daughter and we worked hard to have an agrement about Holidays and other everyday issues. But my SDs mother is going back on things she already agreed to and its driving me crazy! She is such a witch! My husband needs to get a backbone and stand up to her for the sake of our family! They agreed that in odd numbered years that we would get my SD on Thanksgiving. But of course this woman has to try to mess tht up for us! She is on some big power trip and is being very controlling! And I feel sorry for my SD because now she is in the middle of everything courtsey of her mother! We try to keep her out of the issues between the adults!
I mean this woman had my SD lie and say we had her last year for Thanksgiving and I know we didn't. So now she's making her lie to her dad! Not right! I am so sick of this woman and her bullshit! We have a right to have fun with our daughter at Thanksgiving and Christmas! And this woman also wants to take her to church on the day we are supposed to have her on Christmas Eve! I don't have a problem with taking her to church, it just has to be right in the middle of our Holiday Celebration doesn't it? That is not going to happen! We have family coming from out of town that will only be here a few days, that is when we have our big dinner and open presents, spend time together. So this lady ain't taking that away from us!!!
I just wish this lady woud get over herself! We are nice to her, but she treats us like crap, and I've just about had it with her. I never talk to here because she is a very toxic person to be around! I know she will never change so I am just going to have try to ignore her, but it's hard! Ahhh!
You guys don't have all this
You guys don't have all this written down in a custody agreement? No photos from last year's Thanksgiving?
My SS's BM is the same. She could care less what we have planned, what's going on here or what we want to do. She has always pulled that crap. We let her have the boys last year for Thanksgiving when it was our year because they wanted to see their cousins on her side of the family. Rather than have them whine the holiday though, DH gave in. Do you think BM will let us have them this Thanksgiving in return? Of course not. Even if it's the last Thanksgiving before the cousins on DH's side of the family go off to college. It's all about them.
Being nice to these types
Being nice to these types doesn't work. In fact, it emboldens them. The more they get away with, the more demands they make in the disguise of requests. She sees you and your DH as weak and easily manipulated. I know this because my husband and I use to be the same way. Anything, to keep the peace, was our way of thinking, except it doesn't work. We now stand our ground. I suggest you stand yours. She will throw a fit, but you need to remain determined to guard your boundaries. If it's in the divorce agreement, I would tell her "No, that doesn't work for us. Arrangements have already been settled, and you agreed to them. You'll need to rework your plans." She can't mess with your plans, unless you let her.
Yes I think my husband in
Yes I think my husband in being too nice about the whole situation! If it was up to me things would be a lot different. I hate that fact that he just lets her walk all over us! We are just as important as her and her family. We are the nice family. Hers is a very dysfunctional one. Her oldest daughter cheated on her husband so they got a divorce. This is one of the daughters from her first marriage that she raised on her own! Both of her older daughters got pregnant as teenagers on her watch. And she's supposed to be this big Catholic person. She has no morals, she let her daughter's boyfriend live at her house, when my husband was with her. And none of them had a job except my husband, so he was the one paying the bills! That's why he broke up with her.
She is just the laziest person. She doesn't have a job, so instead of getting one, she now has a new boyfriend that she lives with. This guy has a job and his own house so I guess she lucked out! Pretty much moved in with him right away. And of course is dragging my SD into this new situation! I would never do something like that! Hope it works out. If they ever break up my SD could live her, but her mother would be on her own!
I try to talk to my husband inot being more assertive, but her just doesn't want to. We will never get what we want unless he stands up to her! I agree with the last post that this woman is walking all over us and I have had it with this witch messing up our plans! I would like to go back to court and have a more definant plan so this person can't ruin our plans anymore. But I feel helpless because my husband doesn't want to do it. I had to talk him into getting joint custody in the first place. I really feel like we are getting the crumbs from our daughter's time, and her mother gets everything else.
I think it is evil to keep your daughter away from her father during the holidays, especially on Christmas! We are not letting her interfere with our celebration! I hate her, she's an evil bitch!!!