BF Sleeping with BM one year before we Moved in together
I moved in with my bf 3 months ago. The BM called me on my cell phone and requested to meet with me at Starbucks while the SS and my BF were out of town. I agreed to meet up with her because she said she wanted to get to know the woman who was around her son. I met her and we had a conversation for 3 hours 20% of the conversation was about her son and the other 80% was about how bad of a parent she thinks my bf is and how he never wanted to divorce her, the reason she divorced him, and how she doesn't want him or anything to do with him. Fast forward..
The BM called my Bf on his cellphone at 1:30am and I answered the phone. I believe she thought I was not going to be there and it surprised her so all she could come up with is I was calling to see if you have a home phone number because I have to turn in Johnathan paperwork to school in the morning. Then I started thinking no one would call at 1:30am to check on information they already knew, so Next day
The BM sent an email asking about another thing at 2am and then copied me on the email. She made sure to tell me that my bf used to call her at 2am in the morning for booty calls and she didn't understand why its a problem for her to call him now.
Here is where I am upset: My Bf told me that he was divorced from his ex wife 6 years ago and he hasn't been involved with her sense. Yet I just found out that they had been sleeping togther a year before I met him and moved in which explains the jealousy and sabotage that she exhibits in her behavior. She lied when I met her and he lied when he met me. Is it foolish for me to believe that when two people divorce that they stopped sleeping together? I have been married twice and I haven't seen my ex husbands one time after we divorced. I know its different when children are involved but if she was so bad to you and vice versa then why are you sleeping together. Also, what would keep him from cheating on me with her if she would let him? She is definitely trying to break us up.
If somebody would have told
If somebody would have told me today that they had sex after the divorce 6 Years ago, I would have told them to kiss my ***. It wasn't until I comfronted him with the email that he actually admitted to having sex with her 2 years ago. She put him in jail for a false accusation that did not result in any conviction and he is a school principal so she tried to go to his school and get him fired. Not to mention she collects the $1,300 per month for the kid but doesn't pay for or attend any of his activities and he is over our place more than half of the time because he hates going to her house. Let me also mention that when he does come over his clothing and shoes are a mess. One day he actually made a mistake while we were arguing and called me her name and I thought that was because the argument was about her.I asked him why he went back to sleep with her and he said because it was an easy piece of a**. Here I am thinking really after 4 years of a divorce and being a successful man thats the best that you could say and do? He treats me and my Bio Daughter age 17 well, but I struggle with his logic and I question his honesty.I just have to keep my eyes and ears open.
Not necessarily I'm ashamed
Not necessarily I'm ashamed of it but even after my divorce I still slept with my ex for a couple months but it didn't take ling to hate myself every time I left. I broke it off was done done tried of feeling shitty that I still loved him and he was just an asshole. Course he assumed I must if been sleeping with someone else (I wasn't hadn't been ready to move on) 2 months later I met SO I didn't feel and still don't have the need to divulge I slept with my ex after the divorce but before we met he slept with his for a year after they split doesn't matter to me he's never said it (we had mutual friends) it was before me BM has tried to say they slept together after we met but since she didn't know we we're for a few months I called her on the datesvas he was with me all the dates she gave( he'd moved in she also didn't know that till the day before she tried to lie to me. I'd mot worry about it. People do dumb things and everybody lies.
Yup, you confirmed exactly
Yup, you confirmed exactly what I thought when the phone call came through. She thought I went back to my home because school started for my daughter, and wanted to see if she could temp him into having sex with her. She didn't realize that I moved in full time and of course it was not pre-arranged because if it were she would have known that I was there. She heard my voice and stumbled, but I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I were not there? I asked him that question and he said the love and respect that he has for me and there are no feelings there for her. I am thinking what do you mean feelings there for her? Do you still have feelings for her? He claims no but there must be some warm and fuzzy feelings about men and their ex wifes and kid mother's but I wouldn't touch my daughter's father with a long pole.
I never entertained the
I never entertained the thought of sleeping with my ex husband after the end of our marriage. Then again I was pregnant with BS11 and not having a desire to sleep with anyone at that time. As for your BF, you asked him and he said he does not want her. You also said he treats you and your daughter well. That's what I would go on for now unless I saw something different.
It sounds like having sex with her was convenient and easy for him as he said. You said he is a principal. I think that answers the question you asked about why he did it. Working in a school, I know he is busy. He probably didn't want to put forth the effort at the time in meeting someone and she made herself available. When couples sleep together after a breakup or divorce it is usually because of familiarity and convenience. It seems as though she took this to think they would get back together eventually. She probably thinks running you off will allow that. She doesn't realize if he wanted her he would've gotten back with her. Have a talk with him about setting boundaries with her because she will get worse with the calls to aggravate you if he doesn't put a stop to it.