Tell your BF that she can book a motel room, and hire a car, like any normal person would have to do! It is unacceptable for him to expect that of you. Go and stay with a friend or your mother, and make it clear to your bf why you are doing this. There is no way he should allow her in his house apart from the party, and you DEFINITELTY should not be expected to live in the same house as her for the weekend. If he is going to make her a higher priority than you, then I would seriously think about where this relationship is going.

I would rather be hated for who I am, then loved for who I am not.

as she will have no transportation once there. I agree the bm has a right to spend time with sd, however, she can do that during the day time. Why not put her up at a near by hotel? Then at least your home is still your home in the evenings.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Huh????

Have her call the local ministerial alliance and ask for a room voucher.

Find her a box.

Buy her a wagon at a garage sale. Then she'll have wheels.

Remind bf that feet ARE transportation.

Ugh.

Sorry, who is paying for the airline ticket? Did bf ask you how you felt about this before he told her she could stay there? Do bf's parents or sibs live nearby, and she could stay with them?

This sounds like a receipe for disaster...

"And this too shall pass..."

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt...

Before my DH and I got married, we were living together (in my house). I let BM stay with us for SD's HS graduation. I thought it was ok because we weren't married, she lived a long way away, and she, "didn't have the money" to get a room.

Here is the answer - NO. Don't do it. That (words fail me) sat on my couch for 3 days. She didn't offer to help one little bit. She ate, she watched tv, she sprayed potato chips all over the couch. She asked me for a gift to give her daughter for graduation, and she asked me to drive her to different stores. (oh - but I thought she was broke!!).

NO. Don't do it. Fast forward. SD lived with her for two years after graduation - foregoing college and everything else. She came back to us prego, jobless, and well, unpleasant. When SD was having the kid - I got a full on pressure that her mother should be able to stay at our place, because she was broke, and should be with her daughter. NO!!! I said she has known for 7 months now that her daughter would be having a baby, and she didn't save $200 for a hotel room? NO. I asked my DH - well ask if she can stay with your brother - well don't you know he wouldn't have her either? I caught FULL ON pressure - how mean I was all that. NO. No questions, no arguments, no discussions - NO. That woman has yet to see her grand daughter.

NO. You are not required to find her an alternative place to stay. You are not required to help her in anyway. NO. I do understand her being able to come to the party. But other than that - NO. And no staying after the other guests have left.

The 10 month thing? My DH was married previously to someone between the BM and I. He did the same thing. I can't believe your relationship lasted beyond that. This is a huge flag. I'm sorry this is so painful - but really - don't do it - and only go to a hotel to avoid it if you are planning to stay there. If she ousts you from your home, it isn't.

This is really a tough one. I'm thinking of you.

If you had asked me this question in person my jaw would be on the floor and no words would be able to come out of my mouth....speachless!

NO! NO! NO! There have GOT to be hotels she can stay in.

SD can have some fun bonding time with BM hanging out at the hotel watching lifetime movies and eating popcorn or something.

don't do it..and I'm A BM that I KNOW if I had to my EH and his new wife WOULD let me stay with them...but I would never..way too awkward and disrespectful to new wife no matter how long EH and I have been apart.

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

Even I wouldn't condone this one. And I'm usually "try to make it work" girl... No way. Too much pressure, stress. Just say "NO". It's your house too.

Totally unacceptable. If you are young get out! PLEASE I would have got out years ago if I would have been smart. Find someone without kids much easier!

You meant you're getting out. I'll have to go check the other post. I will say that I feel close with my sons' SM, and if I lived out of town they would offer for us to stay there if they had the room and we would as well to them. I'm thinking we would all, of course, refuse graciously though. If something happened to DH and I would homeless with no roof over my head then exH and SM would likely offer me a room to rent til I could get back on my feet. But we are 10 years at this now, and have all become friends/family like. I went to SM's daughter's baby shower, and SM's 40th b-day party. It's been a conscious effort on all our parts, and boundaries are kept and respected. This is not acceptable for you, for him to just dictate this stuff without your consent.

Good luck EBSM08.

OMG - this is your house and didn't you already tell him no and he just invited her anyway without your consent. First of all I can't believe that he would even have the nerve to tell her yes. She can stay in a hotel - she can borrow money from a friend - she does not need to be in your house. If you are sick of this - trust me it is not gonna get any better - you may want to cut your losses and he can be on his way.... thats BS

I am in rage of the thought!! Listen it is hard enough for us putting up with EVERYTHING>>>>>> NO WAY

I she cant afford it then why is she comming she can celibrate the day when she gets home. Id be mad sooooooo mad. Tell your BF that when the ex comes over she might as well sleep on your sde of the bed too while hes at it...hopefully he'll get the point. Stop this before it happens otherwise your gonna have the ex running your show and snopping through your things and you dont want that.

Are you sure that this is what you want...honey if I only knew years ago what kind of mess was ahead of me...it doesnt get better.