Ok gotta ask would anyone feel diiferent if...
SS14 had asked to go to another place other than Hooters for his bday but bm didn't like the place? Would the ones that said not to take him have a different look on it if it were a different place just knowing bm didn't want dh to just b/c she said no? I don't want to get into the opinions on weather woman should use their bodies for money or not, but the fact that bm doesn't like a place and we should just say ok just to respect her wishes even thought we find nothing wrong with the place? Doesn't dh as this kids father have some say? If bm and dh were still together there is no doubt in my mind that dh would take ss there for his bday.
I am merely asking b/c I'm curious as to if it is just this place or if it were say a chuckie cheeses and bm said no b/c she thought he was too old?
When my boys are with their
When my boys are with their dad, they go where he takes them. No one asks me. Just as when they're with me; I take them where I want to. I don't ask their dad what he thinks. If we decided to split up, neither of us can micromanage how we care for the boys. So long as neither of us are endangering the boys, of course.
My sons have been going to
My sons have been going to Hooters for years they are now 14 and 17...they actually like the food and they go with their dad and dads friends!!! I personally think people make to much of a big deal about Hooters...(my boys always tell me i am prettier anyways..-)) haha.. Bottom line is if you make a big deal about it and forbidden then it makes it more tempting...it is a restaurant look at it like that.
I am not sure what the other
I am not sure what the other post was about, but I love Hooters. They have the best fried pickles in the world!!!
I have taken my son there a few times and it is not a big issue at all. The uniforms are not THAT bad.
And NO, I would NOT have let my ex dictate where I took my kid. I would have told him to take a hike.
that was the point I was
that was the point I was trying to make that it shouldn't make a difference where dh takes the boys as long as he is not endangering them. I was asking b/c a few people were saying not to them just b/c mom said no.
I do view Hooters as a place to eat and that is that. I know how bm feels about this place and why but at the same time why does she get a say in where dh takes his boys to eat?
Why is this even an issue
Why is this even an issue quite frankly - take the kid where you want and tell BM after the fact - no judge is going to take the kid away or make visitation cease because you took him to hooters. Not the BM's business what you do with him on your time just like unless she is doing something that could hurt him is it not your business where she goes on her time.
Take the kid out - enjoy yourselves and let BM's stew in her own stupidity.
This is supposed to be about your SD and his birthday not some pissing contest between your DH and the BM - if he wants to go to Chuckie Cheese or Hooters then do what he wants.
When are people going to start loving their children more than they hate their EX?
Caregiver you are right I was
Caregiver you are right I was over thinking again!!! It si that simple. Thanks for that kick in the butt!
I didn't respond on the other
I didn't respond on the other topic, but I think it only matters because you said you are pretty sure BM would have a problem with taking the kids. I don't think she necessarily should get the final say, but I do feel that if you do something that you know will set the other parent off, you are adding fuel to the fire. The decision should be weighed against knowing that. If it's still worth it, go for it, but it's like you're accepting the fallout that's bound to come from it.
Personally, right or wrong, if BM sees a place like Hooters as inappropriate for her children, I think I'd tread carefully. There's nothing wrong with taking the boys to Hooters, IMO, but that's not the point. The point is that you are pretty sure that BM would be against the idea. I think I'd treat it as if it were no big deal and not even entertain BM's preferences on this. This is not something that BM should be allowed any input on, so I think your H is right in making the decision 100% his.
Did I miss something in the other post...I think I read that mom didn't say no, but more like you were pretty sure she wouldn't like it.
Okay but then where does the
Okay but then where does the kowtowing stop - if BM thinks that a certain sport is not the right one for the child to be in even if the child wants to do it - should the child be denied - Sometimes these BM's just disagree to be pains in the asses and to give the ex a hard time - I could see if DH and SM wanted to take the kid to a strip club for his birthday - then it would be understandable.
I know women hate Hooters and think that it is exploiting woman - but I saw a episode of Undercover Boss regarding Hooters and most of the girls are college kids who are putting themselves through college. Some people are born "blessed with physical attributes that the world finds attractive) why not capitalize on that and use it to make a living. These girls are not stripping down to their underwear and quite frankly they have to wear stockings under their shorts so you don't even get to see skin.
Just because a BM has hang ups about something that is her problem to deal with. This family is not doing something detrimental to their son. Then it appears that SS14 and DH and SM are willing to go along and scrap Hooters but now he wants to go to CHuckie CHeese and the BM is saying that he is too young for that - so it seems that any restaurant that they choose will not be right - tough shit on BM - it is DH's time and his place to decide where they will go. END OF STORY!!
Yeah you are right. I am
Yeah you are right. I am letting dh handle it but I was looking for opinions. I know dh isn;t doing to piss her off or anything but he thinks he should be able to take him where he wants to and knows that he will hear it from bm if he does. I think he is just going to take him b/c he wants to not b/c anyone or anything else. thanks
You can't let BM rule your
You can't let BM rule your house and by letting her give her opinion you are doing just that - she should never be told anything until the event has passed. You let her make her opinions known so now she has a voice and it is not her place to have a voice. I don't think your DH was trying to piss her off but he was awfully nice letting her know what you were planning to do - you have now learned that she cannot listen and not offer an opinion so don't give her anymore chances to speak up.
Hmmm, if they have joint
Hmmm, if they have joint custody, I do think that BM has a say in what type of place her child is exposed.. Are you saying that BM doesn't like the food or the atmosphere? If for example she didn't like Applebee's because the food isn't good.. then no, her opinion doesn't matter. If she doesn't like Hooter's because she doesn't feel her kid should be exposed, then yes, IMO, she has a valid say.
She can have a say but in
She can have a say but in this case the kid picked hooters and then chuckie cheese and the BM had a problem with both places which just goes to show she will have a problem with any place that they pick - and if hooters was 21 and over then okay she has a valid point but it is a family restaurant.