August seems the month for change around here
Everyday recently I have been coming on here to have a read and it seems that quite a few of you ladys are calling time on this bulls*it that your SO or DH launches at you. I am very proud of all of you for finally giving your self a chance at a happier life. DH and I split up end of may when I walked out for 4 days (after threating to 'knock my f*cking teeth out' and therfor us getting into a fight) and he didnt even call to see if I was alive- my nearest friedn and family was 1.5hrs away and I left at 10pm! I found out he was sexting another female while i was gone and when i returned and he constantly tells me he done this to hurt me and cause me pain- charming right! Anyways short story is, he finally got his stuff out middle of July and I havent seen him since. Txt a few times as we now have to sell the house which I pay majority of and are going to be majorly in the negative, as much as it sucks I would rather that than be with someone so horrid. I read a post this mornign by Sam titles 'bye', who made some great points, that as much as we feel that its all upto us to make it work as it couldnt possibly be that bad,its a 2 way street and when you are constantly dismissed in every aspect of a relationship but with the added stress of being a SM its just too much. I tried numerous times to get my DH to understand where I was coming from and even to read this forum and he refused for the simple fact 'I dont want to'. I will confess that arguments turned into fights where I ended up pushing my husband, which isnt right I know, but when I explain to him that he was wrong to do things to me, sexting, emotional and menataly abusive and gaslighting the hell out of me he completly dismisses it becasue at the end of our marriage I pushed him and i was too emotional. It just makes me soo sad that I wasted so much effort on a 'man' that relishes in my pain and telling me he done things on purpose to hurt me after using and breaking me for so long.Sorry for the long rant but I just want to say that reading other peoples posts on how well they are doing, I am finding it easier to move on and realise that it wasnt just my failings as what everyone is making me believe, that when someone is an a**, they will always be an a**, regalrdless of the love and effort you put into them, they will only throw it back in your face. Good luck ladies and sorry about the long post!!
Hugs to you honey. Leaving
Hugs to you honey.
Leaving any relationship is hard, when there is abuse involved it's even harder because they wear you down to the point you question your own sanity and start to believe the terrible stuff they say about you.
You are right, it is worth the financial hit to be rid of his sorry arse. Good riddance.
You are doing amazingly well and can soon focus of building a better life. Stay focussed on the prize when things get tough.
I'm glad to hear you got out.
I'm glad to hear you got out. He really was abusive. I always like to hear survival stories!
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Sending you well wishes from
Sending you well wishes from the other side. I got out a year ago and it was the best thing I ever did... can't believe I didn't do it sooner. When I think back to all of the chaos that plagued my life simply b/c the man refused to be a parent, I am dumbfounded, even now. It seems that the expectation is, that we make ourselves available when needed but, remain on the outskirts the rest of the time. That is no way to live. Being a convenience item is not living, it's merely existing. Good luck on your path back to yourself, make it count, and always smile knowing that your nightmare has ended while his will be a lifelong horrendous torture. }:)