Are you stressed less or more when the skids are gone? Is there more drama when they are there or not there?
I used to be wanting the skids at our house almost all the time. I know that sounds weird but years ago I really wanted them here. It was fun, they were fun to hang out with and go places. They were young kids and innocent, didn't have any of the PAS from their BM setting in yet.
And now....I am UNBELIEVABLY happy when they are gone. I am not stressed, yet when they are here it's almost constant drama. When they are gone I'm carefree and productive. When they are here I feel like I need to take a tranquillizer all the time. They just cause (mostly my SS) so much chaos going back and forth.
This used to make me feel guilty until recently, when I just don't care enough about the whole thing to feel anything but relief when they are gone, especially for an extended period of time, like the rest of the summer.
I find EVERYTHING is geared to them - their schedules affect our lives SO much that it depressing. Their need to be driven back and forth because the BM won't get off her bum and come and pick them up so they need to be carted around everywhere. We can't go on vacation because of their schedules, even meals are totally about their visitation schedules.
It affects my bios a lot too, with the constant coming and going. SS is unable to interact positively with my bios and really makes everything about 'him'. He's become almost an exact replica of BM - selfish, narcissistic, unable to feel empathy, lies often, exaggerates, has this 'I didn't do it' denial issue (again, false sense of self). He is almost a teen now and I DREAD to see what happens then. I refuse to get involved in any of the drama that he will inevitably cause.
Sometimes I wonder if TWO houses is really worth it? It's hard on every person involved - in our case, that's about 12 people.
It's stressful to have a ton
It's stressful to have a ton of kids around whether you gave birth to them or someone else did. Moreso when they're someone else's because you can't really account for all of their behavior. I would say for me it is 50/50 but my SD is only 6 years old. I have two bio-kids and a full-time job in the meantime, so SD6 doesn't really make life that much tougher.
That said, DH just drove out of province to return SD6 to her bio-mom and he took my BD6 with him to make the trip more fun, and BD1 is sleeping, so I am cruising the forums with a rum and coke waiting for my favorite show to come on in and hour and a half, so... No kids is good!
I'm sitting here seething now
I'm sitting here seething now for this very reason-- SS8 is back. And DH was supposed to be off but suddenly had to 'run to work' at 6a to do a quick task. It's been 4hrs and he's texting and apologizing and claiming he'll be here soon.
I told him I was no longer keeping SS8!!! I'm freaking working, stuck upstairs because SS8 aka "the sloth" is downstairs monopolizing my usual work space.
I just heard a loud crash downstairs. Went down to see what it was and SS8 meets me at bottom of stairs and when I asked what was that he lies and said "Nothing". So Nothing just made a big f*cking noise as if the ceiling was falling??? I go around corner & see dining room chair pulled up to the closet. I asked again what happened. He says he wanted to see what was in a box at the top of the closet, which resulted in him crashing down a bunch of stuff in there. UGH!! He also hadn't dressed (sitting around on my furniture in his probably sh*tty boxers), hadn't made his bed or brushed his teeth which is the rule when he gets up. He drags up to do it when I tell him.
Am I happy when he's not here?? HELL YES. On top of the normal disruptions to schedules, the most annoying this is dealing with the BM. The Succubus of a BM sent dirty clothes b/c she didn't have him before we picked him up from her friend house; she'd dumped him at her friends house on Friday so we are met with 3 days of dirty clothes already. She STILL didn't include the School Supply list she's had in her Email since JUNE. School starts Monday and she expects us to buy half of the supplies. She sends DH several text all through yesterday, telling him to 'hurry and get SS8 from her friend house by 6'. Sorry Biatch knows he works until 4 or 5 every Sunday and that her friend was 2hrs and 15min drive away yet she told her friend when he'd be there by 6, without even consulting us! We didn't get home until 11p last night. Then this morning she sent him a Text that last time we let him overeat and she's trying to take weight off of him (he's 20pds overweight) and not to feed him this or that. I'm not making special meals. She can send some f*cking Jenny Craig meals with him if she wants him to eat special or she can get him a lapband like she did for herself!
Am I happy when he's not here?? HELL YES!!!