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Are you close with your SK's?

justa102's picture

Me and FDH have been bickering at one another for the past few days. I swear we haven't said one nice thing to each other. It's a very, very long story that I won't get completely into. But I will say it has to deal with me putting a cell phone in my name for my 15 yr old niece (who will pay the bill every month, since she gets money from her dad passing away).

FDH blew up at my mom and my niece and I'm really upset about it. He doesn't seem to care one bit that I'm bothered by this all. Now both of them want nothing to do with him. I told FDH that, "I was so happy you and my niece were getting along so well and then you went and ruined it. It meant so much to me!" He asks rudely, "Why does it matter?" I said, "Because I helped raise my niece from day one. I sometimes treat her like my own kid. So it mattered a lot that you two got along." (I have no kids.) He turns around and says something along the lines of I should be treating his own kids, my SK's, that way. That my niece is only my niece but I'm a stepmom and should act like one. Basically it sounded like I should be focusing more on his kids, who I see, what, once every two months when I see and talk to my own niece on a regular basis. The reason I don't see them as much is because HE doesn't see them as much. So I blurted out, "No, I will never be as close to your kids as I am with my niece! I never see them anyway!" He says, "That's right, they're not YOUR kids." I sort of feel that's true though. They're not my kids.. I barely ever see them.. I get annoyed a bit sometimes when the two younger ones (7 and 12) come for sleepovers because I'm not USED to them being here and they cling to me. I'm glad they like me! But sometimes I need my space and he doesn't get that. Is that so wrong?! Anyway, like I was saying, I do feel I'll never be as close to them as my niece. I see and talk to her all the time, I don't see his kids much at all. Then he tells me because of that, that I'm not ACCEPTING of them?! What, really? Because I don't see them as often that means I'm not accepting?

I'm just annoyed by the situation.. I don't know how to deal with it when he's so damn hardheaded. God, I can just imagine what it's going to be like when our baby is born in 5 months!

I'm frustrated!

justa102's picture

lol

planningMyEscape's picture

Nope. I tried caring. They ignore me, and are ROTTEN to my kids. I don't care about them at all. I have 2 nieces (who, honestly, I'm not that close with because they live in a different town and I don't see them much), but I still care way more about them than I do about my bratty steps.