ANOTHER reason I am regretting SM life
I can't stand how infantile SD is. I mean she's 13, and DH is gushing how when she cought a fish on the boat with DH's uncle she got so excited she kept stomping her feet with excitement and scared all the fish away. Dh's uncle kept telling her to stop stomping, as it was scaring the fish, but she was just so excited, she couldn't help it. When I picture this, I'm imagining a 4-6 yo kid stompiong their feet. this girl is 13yo, no developmental delays, perfectly normal child. This is just her personality, DH tells her to lower her voice from the YELLING tone to a normal tone over 50 times per day. she will listen for the next 5 minutes, then he has to remind her again, again this is a 13yo, not a 6yo. When we cook food, and she doesn't like the vegtables she will put them in her mouth and excuse herself to the restroom and spit them into the toilet. the ony veggie she'll eat is corn ON THE COB. DH told her to eat one bite of the corn OFF the cob at a restraunt and she literally cried. again this girl is 13! She never brushes her hair or teeth, she never showers.
I am getting so sick of being this child's step parent, anyone want to switch? make sure to read all 3 posts before you make up your mind!
People behave in the manner other's tolerate and reinforce.
So..... you and DH need to turn up the heat on the infantile behavioral crap from SD.
If she is going to act like a toddler, treat her like one. Put her in the corner with her nose in contact with the intersection walls when she pulls her whinney crap. Particularly when she pulls this crap in public.
On the fishing.... My grandfather would just pitch us out of the boat into the water if we screwed up his fishing.
If the adults in proximity to SD's infantile behavior don't like the behavior they need to apply consequences in consistent manner that will change those behaviors.
Treating her publically as the toddler she is behaving like will do the trick in my experience.
^ I frequently remind SD5
^ I frequently remind SD5 that i'll treat her how she acts. If she's being a big girl, I let her stay up a little later, she can help me in the kitchen, go outside and play, etc. If she's acting like a baby, then it's early bed time and nap time.
If she's gonna act like a toddler, you should show her how you treat toddlers.
they have many alligators in
they have many alligators in the lake that he goes fishing. If he threw her in, she would not have made it out.... at least not with all her limbs.
I can't stand her behavior, so i do make boundaries, when she's with me. If DH is around I let DH handle pretty much everything. but that's one thing, DH finds that behavior cute. he was literally telling me how SD was stomping in the boat with excitemtent as if it was adorable. I puked in my mouth a bit when he said it. He must have been able to tell i thought it was disgusting because he said "well she was excited". I make that face a lot, and SD has even mentioned it, trying to get DH angry with me. I told her it was because I get a lot of headaches.... but I really just should have told her the truth that I find her infantile behavior disgusting. Her mom and DH both seem to buy into this behavior. Like back when SD was 11, her mother came in had another outfit to change her into, rather than give it to her to change into in the bathroom, she stripped her down naked and changed her, like a 5yo, in my living room.
She can't ride a bike because as soon as DH lets go, she falls over and starts crying. we got her knee pads, elbow pads, wrist guards, helmet, training wheels! she STILL manages to fall over (because her weight on the training wheels made them bend). we tried on a gravel path that was grass on both side, she still cried when she fell. she said that it hurt her knee/or wrist through the pad.
SD will never grow up, because her parents wont allow it. they don't make her brush her hair, yet DH wont allow me to go get my kids pictures done without her hobo looking hair, but when i try to brush it for her she cries, mats go all the way from root to tip, and I put oil and spray detangler, and wet it down. it is easier, and it doesn't take sooooo long with all that in her hair, but she still over reacts and cries and flings her body to the ground. then her hair looks greasy for the pictures, because she ALSO doesn't know how to actually wash her scalp.
Well be out at a restraunt and since my kids are learning spanish, they like to order in spanish, but SD will make a HUGE deal about she doesn't speak spanish, and then through out the whole meal she'll be like "did you hear me tell him i wanted WATER, were all like yo quero agua, but i said I wanted water?!" in her EXTREMELY loud voice that we all tell her to bring down. EVERYONE in the restraunt was turning around to look at our table. after telling SD to bring it down, he then precedes to make a mockery of my children ordering their food in spanish. then of course I'm fuming, this night out with the family was supposed to be easier as they get older, but SD will always act like an infant, because DH and BM cater to it!
UGH! sorry for even more venting. I could just go on forever with examples of SD being an infant.
Oh I know exactly what you
Oh I know exactly what you mean. My husbands son is 8 and still acts like a toddler, literally. He will throw tanturms and cry if he doesnt get his way and he does the same thing with vegetables. This would be acceptable behavior for a 3 or 4 year old but not an 8 year old. I can only imagine a 13 year old acting like this.
The food pickiness and
The food pickiness and weirdness about personal hygiene is pretty normal for 11-13 year old girls. That and the rest of it needs to be addressed through parenting, as Rags said above. The food pickiness and hygiene stuff also needs to be addressed through parenting, but I would pick your battles wisely with a thirteen year old (who cares if she doesn't want to eat vegetables.I assume that since this is an issue now that for the first thirteen or so years of her life she has been provided with a healthy diet. This is a control issue. Tweens and young teenagers are testing their boundaries and if you allow something to become a battleground, it will become a battleground. You're the adult. Be the adult.)