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All about a chair!

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 9:12am

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General Discussion

So, SD7 says she wants a computer chair. Apparently, my DS 18 is using a chair of SO. We live in my home, watch my TV, recline on my lounge, eat at my dining table - you get the picture.

He asks, is DS18 using the computer chair, I said I am not sure, but I think so. He says, SD7 wants to take it home and he (my BS18) can find another chair. I went a little off the deepend and said the above, "We are using my lounge, my dining, my Tv's, my beds etc. And if there is one fuckin thing useful in this house of yours you want to give it to your SD7 to take home. You have got to be kiddin me.

Am I overreacting? Do most Biodads want all their useful stuff going to their kids homes.

All the things in this house are mine and we make use of them. He has a couple of pieces. One by one they are going to BM's house. What does this say????

amber3902's picture

Submitted by amber3902 on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 9:28am

No, you are not overreacting. Even if ya'll live together, if it's a chair purchased for your son, it's his chair. Ask biodad if he'd like to take something of SD7's and give it to one of your kids.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 9:53am

The chair was not purchased for my son. But we all moved in together. And SO did not have much stuff. Most was mine. My kids beds, his kids beds, the lounge, the dining, the deck furniture, the fridge, pretty much everything. There was one piece of his furniture that was useful in this house, and then he wanted to give it away......To his SD7s house. That is why I got shitty. Everyone uses all my stuff, and here he was, making a small contribution, with something useful to my son, and he wanted to give it away to his daughter. To the BM's house.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 9:58am

Your kid is the SK. As a BP, if I only have one item and both my BK and SK wanted it, I wouldn't think twice about giving it my kid.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 10:08am

Yes. I will buy it for kid. The problem I thought about was, that no matter what was available to skid, he still wanted to send it to their house. That was what I felt strange about. That SO felt no need at all to provide at my home.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 10:21am

Good to get opinions. I just thought if the skids where good enough to sleep on my beds, claim my blankets, pillows etc, my own son was good enough to claim a chair - obviously, whilst I can provide all living arrangements for skids, they are not expected to give up a chair. NICE for skids.

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 10:24am

Keep in mind you're talking about a 7yo kid. If you should be angry with anyone, it should be your DH. Sounds like there's some resentment on your side for providing the majority of the home furnishings.

What did DH use before you guys moved in together? It sounds like he didn't have ANY furniture at all before living with you?

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 10:22am

I'm glad I don't have to worry about DH giving anything to our skids to send to their mother's house. Skids have two homes and we provide what they need in ours. He pays CS to support skids at BM's house.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 10:39am

We don't actually have to worry about what goes there, he just gives everything to them. It shits me. Last week his son decided he was into boxing, we have 2 boxing bags at ours, one his, one mine, he sent one home to BM's. I don't really mind that this stuff is going, I just think, if they are trying to make 2 homes work? Why remove every single thing they care about from ours????

PeanutandSons's picture

Submitted by PeanutandSons on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 1:20pm

Extras/duplicate items sitting unused in a garage or closet..... Discuss whether to see d to the other house.

Stuff actually being used in your home....no way that's appropriate to send to BMS house. She needs to buy her kid a chair to sit in for her own house.

If dh insist on sending "his" chair to BMS house.....then I would insisnt on all "my" things be for my children only. They come to my house and find no pillows or blankets on their non existent beds. They'd find no towels to dry off with after a shower.

Craving Normality's picture

Submitted by Craving Normality on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 7:14pm

SMof2Girls, my resentment is at SO, not SD7, she is a sweet kid. And I just realised she is actually 8.

Peanutandsons - that's how I feel. If my kid can't use a chair, your kids can't use anything, but I know I could never actually do that.

Thanks for everyone's input, I think I am just going to insist the chair stays at our house.

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 8:20pm

DH has given SS many things that I was getting rid of. Since he cannot keep a residence it all ends up abandoned. Now I just give it to Goodwill and take the tax break.

emotionaly beat up's picture

Submitted by emotionaly beat up on Mon, 07/01/2013 - 8:49pm

I get you are resentful at DH for giving furniture to sd to take home. I also get in the beginning you would not have been resentful about providing the vast majority of the furniture. But I sure as hell get your resentment now. DHs like this play us for fools. They are like kids. The more you give the more they take. They are never satisfied, appreciative our grateful. They take it all for granted. Almost like, well you've got plenty, they haven't, so you should give them yours. You are not wrong over the chair. But I'd let DH know if she takes that chair home the next time she comes there won't be a computer chair for her to sit on, and follow through. Buy your son his own whizz bang chair and remove it when he is not using the computer. It's a pain, but worth the trouble to teach DH a lesson.