alimony
i know this is a little off topic but i have to vent and maybe get some feedback from anyone else whose SO pays alimony.
BF's ex-wife was a stay at home mom for the most part for 10 years (kids are 8 and 10 now). she had a less then part time job just to keep her skills up in her field- she has a masters degree and worked about 10 hours a week at nights when BF would be there for the kids. they sat on their asses for a while and the divorce is just being finalized next month and they are working out financial stuff now. well BF tells me the other day that his ex-wife will probably get alimony until the kids turn 18- that is 10 more years! i was like- how is a woman with a MASTERS degree, who kept up her skills by working some, whose kids are in school full time, able to sit on her fat ass and collect HALF of your paycheck (which is a lot of money by the way- half of his salary is still WAY more then i make in a year) while watching the ellen degeneres show and eating doritos all day for TEN MORE YEARS!
i just don't understand! i get the child support but alimony for that long? i was under the impression that the wife gets alimony until they can gain skills (go to school, get training, etc) or find full time employment and get back on their feet. i'm so annoyed and frustrated today.
and then i feel like i should stay out of it bc its really not my business but he is also still so guilty for leaving her and 2 kids so i don't want him to get screwed by the manipulative b!tch. any help or ideas of how to handle this would be appreciated!
Go to your state's attorney
Go to your state's attorney general's website and familiarize yourself with the laws on the books regarding alimony. Hopefully BF has a good attorney who can help make sure he doesn't get screwed over financially when the divorce is finalized.
they were married for more
they were married for more then 10 years...and the profession she is in is actually VERY easy to find a job right now. but what is your motivation when you can sit on your ass and collect a very good paycheck for the next 10 years and not do a damn thing? i'm just angry and bitter...lol! because while this woman is at home eating bon bon's my ass is working 50 hours a week and when we have children i won't be able to stay home with them because we are giving HER all of our money while her kids are in school and she is doing nothing! it is all extremely frustrating.
and i would also like to add
and i would also like to add that i PRAY every day she finds someone and gets married so we don't have to pay and she stays out of our life but she is so fat and unattractive that i have given my hopes up. mean? very. but i don't care today!
Wow. My divorce was finalized
Wow. My divorce was finalized when I was in my first year of grad school-lovely time to find out that he was cheating. I just graduated this past May, and was given alimony (we did not have kids) until August 1. So, my alimony is just now over, and I have not found a job. It does not matter in my state. The courts said that when I graduated with my Master's, I had until August to find a job. There are no jobs, but bc I was "in school and earning a degree" that meant "I should have a job." Had I not been in school, or even had my Bachelor's degree, I would have received alimony for longer. This was an 11 year marriage. I cry every night, bc I worked so hard for this degree, and I am sending out tons of resumes. And I WANT to work-I love my field.
My boyfriend and his ex were technically married 20 years (they were separated a lot). She never worked, and dropped out of high school her senior year. When his divorce was finalized, she was given child support (which is over next year!) and alimony of 150 or 200 a week for three years(I cant remember the exact amount). She screamed and threw fits, bc she wanted a lot more for a long time. The alimony was based on the fact that at age 40 (at the time) she was capable of finding a job. Ironically, after all of the crying and screaming, she wound up getting married a month after the divorce and lost the alimony. And that guy just left her. LMAO.
In your case, this sounds like it is WAY TOO LONG for alimony. The only thing I can think of is that your bf makes what they consider a high salary, and that warranted the 10 years. But, it still seems so unfair, bc with her education, she should be working and not needing the alimony. That is what they told me; in fact, I was told I was lucky I could get it for as long as I did. My ex left me a financial mess, and cheated on me for a long time, and now he will be living quite nice on his almost 6 figures a year. I am glad I am not attached to him through the money now, but it is still hard, bc I have no money coming in now. Your bf's ex is very lucky-or has a great lawyer. Or something!
Well my DH has supported the
Well my DH has supported the psycho BM for her entire married life. She has never had a job. He paid her well over $3K in alimony per month & almost $1,200 in child support for over 3 years. (Well, he's still paying the CS, which has now been increased to $1,500/month. He was making a LOT more money when they divorced then he sold his company & makes a fraction of what he used to. The courts don't care. Neither does she. She just wants more money, money, money. At least 3 times a week she sends an e-mail asking for money. It just gripes the shit out of me that her husband now makes almost as much as my DH and that money stays with them. She gets to sit on her ass & get a paycheck for $1,500 everymonth to get fat on (and YES, she has gotten quite large). Some days it just makes my blood boil thinking about her being f&%$@ng lazy while we have 4 credit cards maxed out, two title loans against our vehicles, owe my DH's brother thousands of $$ & my father over $5,000 over taking care of bills while her ransom still has to be paid. AAARRRRGGGGHHH!
I just keep hoping and hoping and HOPING one day karma will kick in & she'll have to get a job & struggle her ass off.