Advice please on jail bird mommy release
Well seems like the Jailbird Mommy has been released from jail in the past few days and has made contact with sd to make plans to see her. A little background.. she's a REAL piece of work. She embezzled bunches of money from former employers, was on drugs, was an alcoholic, she got pregnant after she was caught for all this stuff and in her mind... she actually thought she wouldnt have to serve jailtime because she WAS pregnant. Whats she do? She runs!!! Stays on the run for a loong loong while. Which was actually good for everyone but sd. She wasn't around here to cause her "drama". But she was eventually caught in California and had already sent her new son (the baby) to live with HER aunt in another state. (Yeah mother of the year I'm telling ya!)
Anyway, she's done her "time" and has been released to a halfway house of some sort and has all the ammenities of a nice home. Yeah I know it pisses me off too. She will have to serve time in this place for a "period" of time. But cannot leave. So I'm guessing its some sort of house arrest or something..idk.. she wants sd to come and spend the weekend with her. Like now! And bf or grandma hasn't even seen this place or knows anything about it. They don't want to keep her from her precious "Mommy". I just think its kinda iffy...BF thinks its probably safe because the sd's mom is being watched..because she can't leave.. what do you all think? Do you have any advise for me?
No way would I let your SD go
No way would I let your SD go to a halfway house, if this is the type of woman she is, there will be more of the same more than likely in he halfway house, why would grandma and bf want that for her.
Call the halfway house! See
Call the halfway house! See if this is a normal thing to do? Most of them have visiting hours not sleep overs! Surely your DH will check into that won't he? I agree not to keed your SD from her, but I have never heard of a halfway house letting a child stay the weekend.
I could see her being able to
I could see her being able to visit for a little bit but not staying the night or a weekend. She has all these issues with drugs and stuff and I know family support is needed, but I was also looking into the Halfway house thing for my son upon hs release, I thought maybe it was a good idea and would give him a bigger chance at sobriety.
Anyways, I talked to a few people that was in that program and I asked for honesty, I was told that drugs still make their way in there, that just because a few people cant leave doesn't mean the other 15 cant, when they fail a drug test they then get kicked out of the halfway house and are violated on their probation or parole or whatever they are on.
The way halfway house is a transitional center, and I think its like they cant leave for like 3 or 4 weeks then they are aloud to and are exspected to get a job, and then they end up on like a curfew eventually, and then they are eventually aloud to leave on weekends for the night to spend time with family and then return back to the halfway house ( this privillage does not come into play until they are close to being released).
In my opnion, I do not think its a good idea, I think when she earns the right to be able to leave and proves she is drug free and trying then I might consider SD seeing her for a few hours, but in NO WAY would I let her stay the night there, because their are other people living there that have issues and may not be trying to stay clean and straighten up their life even if BM mom is.
You all are soo right with
You all are soo right with the fact that she needs to "prove" she's worthy of a visit. But every time this subject is approached...I feel like I'm the one being attacked for bringing these concerns to light. So I really don't think he's gonna listen because this is what "precious" wants is to go see her Mommy. Clearly he's letting the guilt overtake better judgement. So what now? (Oh and by the way..SD is 11 yrs old, today)