Gosh, I don't know where to begin. I am new here, first day so not sure how this works exactly. I hope this is a safe place to show I am human and have human emotions, some right some wrong. Basically my husbands 30 year old son has been causing some trouble. I find myself being very angry, resentful and hurt not just by his son's actions but in not being defended by my husband. 

I am a clean freak and have been clinically diagnosed with both OCD and severe ADHD. They do not go well together. My husband and I married about a year ago and we dated for two years before that. I saw some warning sign that I should have paid attention to, but his son was always very nice to me. The warning signs I saw were that his son would just stop talking to him for whatever reason, and most of the time my husband had no clue why. So, my husband would text him over and over again. "hey are you okay?" Hey is there something I did" "Hey whatever I did I am sorry" "Hey would you like to get together for dinner so we can talk" Sometimes it has been for a couple of weeks and this time for 2 months. It was actually quite nice, but I have found myself losing respect for my husband. The reason his son knows he can do this is because he has two sons my husband loves, and his son holds them as pawns.

This is a very long and drawn out ordeal so I won't go into details. Basically his son was extremely rude to me and I was a little rude back.  There are a lot of people who don't understand how much OCD and ADHD can affect a persons life. My OCD comes in the form of a clean house. I get up every morning before the sun comes up and I clean for hours every day. We just bought our dream home and it has fairly new white carpet on the staircases and upstairs. The grandsons were told, just like my grandsons were told to not use the front staircase as it is very white and I had it cleaned a few days before. I asked them to use the back staircase that leads to the gameroom so if they could take off their shoes it would be great. Well, they didn't and tracked clumps of mud all the way up the stairs. At that point I expected his son or his wife or both to jump up and apologize and take the kids shoes off. NOTHING! I said oh no, now there is mud. What did his son and wife do? They rolled their eyes. His son said oh just leave it and when it dried you can break it off. Uh no. So I swallowed my tongue and cleaned it. We went outside and we have some acreage, we live in Texas. We have an adorable potbelly pig, chickens a parrot and dogs. He proceeded to tell me that pigs were nasty and I can't believe you got one. I said well actually she is not nasty. She potty trained in one day, she doesn't shed, bark, get on the furniture or chew. She doesn't smell , unless she has gas which I admit is when I let her outside. She mostly wants outside but may come in for an hour or two. She has the intelligence of a three year old...hey wait!! Why am I justifying the fact I have a potbelly pig? It is none of his business. Basically I had a couple of glasses of wine, not a good idea when already agitated. So, I just told him he was wrong and she wasn't dirty.

Anyways it got worse from there and he ended up leaving and not talking to us for a blissful two months. When he decided he wanted to talk he let us know we were going to talk to him and he was coming over because we both needed to hear something, uh no. We can meet somewhere but I don't need this angry grown man yelling at me in my home, or anywhere frankly. So my husband met him and he unleashed threw things in my husbands face that happened when he was 14 etc. Said he basically doesn't respect women because they hold grudges pout etc. Not very self aware huh? Then he proceeds to text me really mean hateful stuff telling me what I will do and say or he will not allow me to be around his family. Now you guys don't know me but I would never allow my kids to talk to me like that and of course my husband didn't defend me and ask him to stop talking to me that way. I swallowed my pride apologized for my part but he continued to rant. I apologized again, fell on deaf ears. Now I am really mad, hurt at my husband and getting angrier by the day. The clincher is that the son called my husband and my husband said why don't we go to the zoo? His son said okay and my husband said "Well, can Elizabeth go? Then my husband actually comes to me and says Jake said you can go!!

I said OH could I please? Seriously. How do I get over the anger and resentment I have towards my husband and his son? If I tell his son like it is then he might walk away for good and my husband would blame me. If I stay quiet I feel like a doormat and have lost respect for myself. I would love to hear your thoughts. Sorry so long!  Thanks