Loving the post. Can't really respond like I'd like because I am SUPPOSED to be at the Drs. Sorry Doc. Hell they make me wait, so back at em. I will however respond later. Just wanted to say I hear ya and feel ya MAN!

Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P

You, sir, make me smile. It has been quite some time since I have read something written by someone with as good a handle on what he wishes to convey as you. Your style is fantastic. I truly enjoyed reading this.

I strive to influence change by manifesting the characteristics which I wish were more prevalent in society today. My hope is that someone will notice how different I am from the norm, and wish to be more like me. I know that when I was young and impressionable, my actions were easily swayed by those whom I wished to emulate. It is not outside of the realm of possibility for those who are older and more set in their ways to still desire a change in their lives. Sometimes it is those who keep their mouth shut which are heard loudest and clearest.

I truly believe that the way we are raising our children is influencing the whole of society. Sadly we have changed from keeping our children busy with chores and responsibilities, to parking them in front of their "virtual babysitters". There is a great post by Wil Wheaton on this subject called The Damn Parents Today. What I find disheartening is that for all of my soapboxing, I find a great deal of resistance from parents that I know AGAINST spending quality time with their kids, instead of "doing their own thing" (i.e. the easy thing) and keeping the kids busy with hobbies like video games, iPods, and cell phones. I can't tell you how many times I've heard someone complain that they can't bring their son/daughter to the store with them because the kid can't go to the store without getting a new toy. What? Why? I think that parents are allowing their children far too much leverage in the family dynamic and it's screwing things up on a societal level. In other words, kids are becoming more spoiled and entitled, year after year, and parents are helplessly feeding into this wondering, "Where did I go wrong?"

This is a subject which I feel passionately about and could grandstand for hours, typing out my frustrations for the internet masses to see...but I must go for now lunch beckons, and as a pregnant woman, I must answer its call...

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

"When, as a people in the US, are we going to get back to realistic values?"

Good question. I always considered myself an opened minded thinker, now I'm realizing as I get OLDER that I am opinionated as hell about materialism and serving the greater good. Hate the former, and feel life is about the latter.

Unfortunately, I feel alone in this with many peers who feel parenting is about having great pals to go to the mall with. I live in a very conservative area, and ironically though that term seems to warrant CONSERVING, most the families I know are completely, blinding giving into the notion that kids who have the most things and opportunities will win the happiness race. One recently divorced father told DH how bad he felt that he now had to make his kids choose TWO sports and also had to take his son out of a travel league b/c he had to work more now and also couldn't afford all those trips.

It makes me realize how those families who felt they had money secured in stocks felt the last time a crash occurred of this proportion. How to downgrade to necessity when our culture was so accustomed to excess?

I could go on and on. Basically I agree with you, though demographically we don't have a lot in common. I wonder if the people you saw living with so very little yet showing more gratitude for what they did have had an effect on you? It has on me for sure.

Kevin, the best thing you can do for these budding men is set a good example of what a real man is. I truly believe you are doing this. From you they will learn how to treat women, deal with their emotions, being a father...

I believe that good ole common sense is what's missing in today's world. As parents, we have had every child rearing book shoved down our throats and if you don't jump on board, you are accused of being a mouth-breathing, knuckle dragging red neck.

My kids do have too much computer time; usually, talking with friends (or should I say typing, lol). They do, however, have time away from the computer and I am noticing that they are engaging in activities that support their own artist talents. Life is balance.

Sometimes, life needs help achieving that balance and that is where we, as parents, step in, secretly turn off the modem and claim the internet is down and start taping a documentary on the tv claiming the chanel can't be changed until its done.

A little creativity goes a long ways.

We all smile in the same language

Been running around at Drs appointments all day. UGH!

Anyways! I feel that I am the person to effect change in my skids lives. I have been placed in that disciplinarian/stepmonster role. More because I am a SAHM and I have been the one who has been filling those shoes of "mom" moreso than anyone else in their lives. My skids and I bump heads, boy do we ever. I think some of it is resentment on all our parts. The kids because they wished that their parents were together and they didn't ask for ME the outsider to be a part of their lives. Me, because my kid is off in college and according to "MY" plans that I'd had set for myself, I would be kid free and traveling. ANK! Wrong answer Brutus. God really DOES have a sense of humor. He gave me two more kids to raise. I've been in the picture since they were 1st & 3rd grades. They are now entering 7th and 9th. I was the one that taught them to read, and do math and take pride in their work. Basically treated them as I had my own BD.

I believe our biggest problem lies in that the BM that I deal with did not encourage a positive relationship between the kids and I. I worked at it, God KNOWS I have. What they NEEDED to hear from HER and no one else was that "It was okay to like me and not be conflicted about loyalty to her." Since this was never done, the lines were blurred. Many said, stop being a mother to them. Well easier said than done, when they are in my home F/T as DH and I are CP and their mother shunned the responsibility. DH works HARD so that I don't have to. So, it would not have been fair of me to say, well when you get in cook the food, clean the house, do the HW, read bedtime stories, blah blah blah since they are YOUR kids. Mind you he would come in and help right away though. As far as I was concerned needs needed to be met and SOMEONE had to fill them. I just so happened to be the likely available nearest and only willing and possibly capable person.

I worked with my skids on BETTER manners, because they still aren't where I feel they should be. I taught them please and thank you. I made sure that they hand wrote nice thank you cards to anyone who did a special thing for them. I made sure they said their prayers and brushed their teeth and cleaned behind their ears and all other duties that would fall under a mom's responsibilities. I never entered that with the idea of taking their mother's place. They have a mother. She may not be the best mother, but the bottom line is that she is THEIR mother. I always encouraged a good solid relationship with their mom even when she was given me sh#t on a platter. WHY? Because in my heart of hearts I BELIEVE that someone needs to foster and encourage the good in them. I see the inherent and endless possiblities to their future. I mean, I HAVE some very smart and intelligent kids when they aren't being led astray. I push them when I know that there is more in them that they are bringing forth. I teach them to take pride in getting a job done and doing it well. BUT I believe that the parents get caught up in the poor SD mode and lose sight of the bigger picture.

For example, SD was accepted into a very tough HS program. I think it will do wonders for her future, academically and her self confidence. It will be tough and surely a challenge, but I think that she will hopefully stand on the other side of these "rigorous" next four years and be proud of her accomplishments. Now you must know that SD is the QUEEN of procrasinators. Well DH was so excited that SD got into this program as it is hard to get into. He had me register her as he was away during the time. BM just flat out HATES it because I have something to do with it rather than looking at the challenges and opportunities that it will afford the SD. I KNOW that she can do it and am just wanting her to give it and herself a chance and prove it. Well DH called the other day to say that he doesn't think that SD will be able to handle the rigors of this program because she is a MAJOR PROCRASTINATOR. BUT he is away. I have POA. I believe she can do it. He said it was my call. Was such a bummer for me. Even pissed me off. Left me with the do I do like all others and throw my hands up and let her have her way and allow her to go to a less challenging program so that she can hang with her "friends?" Or do I encourage her and work with her to work through the procrastination and to realize WHAT she is capable of accomplishing? At the moment I am going for it. I am gonna support and encourage her to bring out the best in her and rise to the occasion when life throws her challenges and obstacles. WHY? Because if someone doesn't make it a priority while she is young, she will ALWAYS be afraid to step out there.

You are so right. I believe that we have so many slackers. I don't mean to sound arrogant, but I believe that I was put in the position that I am in to affect change in my skids lives. I don't raise followers. I raise LEADERS!!! I wish more parents took this attitude. It's okay to sit in the passenger seat some days. WE all do. I've done it myself a time or two or twelve, BUT I know that there are enough folks sitting in the passenger seat. We need more of our future leaders to REALLY LEAD. I apologize if this has gotten off point. I do feel sad when I look at what our youth have become. I remember when our parents thought that we were slackers because we were so influenced by the MTV and BET channels. Problem I see now is that the new generation have not just been influenced by them, many of them were RAISED by them. And in my honest opinion, this coming from a former MTV Lover, this is a sad place for our future to lie. Well that and VIDEO GAMES! UGH!! Damn them to hell I say. The games people. LOL.

Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P

And far more eloquent than I.

Did you by chance ever attend Kemper Military School?

The object of the school was to .... (Sadly the School closed in 2002) and I recite from memory ...

"The object of Kemper is to develop in harmony the physical, mental and moral powers. Not to make mere scholars, but to make men of character" Prof. FT Kemper 1844.

I recited that object, every day, three times a day, very loudly, at every Mess (Meal) formation for three years. And I have tried every day since to live up to that objective and the Standard of Honor that I signed as a Cadet.

The Kemper Standard of Honor.

I will not lie on official statements.

I will not cheat on examinations or recitations.

I will not steal from members of the community.

I will not tolerate those who do.

More simply stated. I will not lie, cheat, steal or tolerate those who do. Prof Kemper wrote the standard in the 1800's in the wording prevalent at the time. But, the guy was a true genius of how to make Men out of boys.

You Sir, are also a great Man and it is a true joy and inspiration to read your musings. You are a visionary, both far ahead of and far behind, your time.

Keep setting the example of how to be a real man to the Man-Boys around you...... and keep sharing your wisdom here.

PLEASE!

As far as my own political beliefs...... I saw a kid (teen) wearing a T-shirt in the mall a few weeks ago that nailed my own Political beliefs to a T (shirt).

I am a Fiscal Conservative.

I am a Social Libertarian.

I am a Sexual Liberal.

I tried to buy the shirt off of that kids back. But the little turd would not sell it to me.

Ha! Good for him.

Best regards,

Success is rarely final. Failure is rarely fatal. It is character, courage and consistency of effort that count. Vince Lombardi (with some minor Rags modifications)

2