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why did you marry dh?

smnikki's picture

im curious to know if looking back you feel that the major reason you married dh was to not let bm win? Did you feel like she created all the drama and what not to end your relstionship, and you just couldnt walk away because then she wins, and you walk away from some one that you love?

if you did, do you think now that win or lose, you should have left it all, and not kept dealing with it? letting her win and walking away from the constant termoil would have been the better choice?

Comments

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

That's hilarious! LOL! Love it!

Gia's picture

to do with BM... My main problems with BM started after we got married... and to tell you the truth I didn't even think much about her before getting married...

I married DH for many reasons, and those reasons include him being the great father that he is.

~You can see clearly only with your heart. What is truly important is invisible to the eyes~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry's

hopeful12's picture

He was such a kind, caring, loving man who use to put me above anything/anyone else. He was such a great father. Especially to my kids!! There are alot of days when I want to look like one of those crazy kids and run out of the house screaming and never look back! But then DH comes home,and I watch the kids run up to him and say "Hi daddy, how was your day?" He hugs them and then I remember even though the BS comes in all shapes & sizes... So does the love our family has for one another! OY I do wonder though how different my life would be had I kept walking that day back in 2000? HUH?

I refuse to allow SD/BM/or MIL to ruin my marriage! Thinkin about changing my name to "takencharge"

The Principlist's picture

Silly me! I married for LOVE!!! Was head over heels in love with the man, well actually, I STLL am. LOL. BM was not even on my horizon. She tried little things, but she was insignificant. DH didn't give her the time of day. Their divorce was not a good one. BM was a nightmare to deal with. She didn't like us having fun with the kids. She would hide them from visitations if she knew that we were planning something fun like the amusement parks. Then when we were unable to get them on OUR NON scheduled weekend, she would do drivebys and just dump them on our doorstep and leave. It was a little crazy, but even then it was still not BAD. Things didn't turn UGLY until after the marriage. She lost it and things got really bad. We are calm right now and getting along (this weeks - LOL), but my marriage was never about her.

Anyone can take the easy way out and blame others. BUT it takes a a person of character to take a look at one's self and actions and own responsibility for their part. ~ ME ~ }:-P

Tprettysmile's picture

My marriage to DH then and still is about the love we have for one another....I fell in love with him before I even met skids or had to deal with BM. BM blames me for her divorce but they were separated before we even hooked up! It's just that they still had assets together and he basically walked away from it all to make everything fast quick and easy during the divorce process and I think that hurt her even more...but that was not my problem/fault. But anyway DH is a provider, loving, kind, sensitive and very affectionate man that I wish didn't have the baggage but our good times outway the bad....so far!

Amazed's picture

and other days I remember I married him because I love him and really don't want to picture my life without him.

"We all have different desires and needs, but if we don't discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.”

melis070179's picture

Me marrying DH had nothing to do with BM or her son...

"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"

kaffonseca's picture

He treated me like a queen...he did things for me that no man ever has..as far as building my trust..he did things that I've always wanted a man to do..and even have given past men blueprints...lol...I said yes because I love his son as my own..he is a hard worker and takes care of his responsibilities (he took custody of his SS5 when his mom abandoned him at the age of 2..and he pays BM of SS2 weekly child support without ever being court ordered)..

We have fallen off track recently and I hope we can get back on track before we DO marry.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"