ughh..another blog..life as a BM not always perfect

I'm a SM but I was a BM first..my BD is 13 and her father is a total friggen' moron. Don't ask me how I've always gotten along (well almost gotten along) with all his girlfriends.probably cuz' ANYONE has to have more sense than him.

Anyways..he got laid off after 14yrs at same employer. They totally shut down his yard (he worked at a railyard). In our divorce decree they based child support (which now I'm not getting either in two months) on the fact that he had to provide medical and dental.

Well now that he is no longer employed his medical and dental has ceased. I can enroll thru my employer for medical and dental but we only have open enrollment once a year. So in order to do a "change of life" enrollment any other time besides August I need a letter from my EH's insurance saying that the insurance is now not in effect.

My EH sits at home all day..I just called him at 3:32 and he said I woke up..ok..anyways. I told him the information I need..he tells me "can't you get it..just call the insurance" . I almost said yea..fine..than realized and told him "Wait a minute..it's YOUR insurance..YOU can call .. I'm AT WORK-your doing nothing. It's YOUR responsibility to keep her medical and dental coverage so get off your azz and do this. He said " yea ok"..but it will never happen. I'm so frustrated with him. He's SUCH A LOSER!

kaffonseca's blog
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Ugh. Sometimes being a BM is harder than a SM!

My son's father is a loser also, and I go through the ringer with him. Dead beat dads drive me up the wall, I should rephrase that, dead beat PARENTS, mom or dad, drive me nuts - o. If you can't take care of the kid, and do what you should for them then you shouldn't have them.

Why is it so difficult for him to call the insurance company, he's not doing anything!! I just don't understand why some people have to make things so difficult.

I feel for you girl, and if it makes you feel any better, I do know how you feel!!

~Happiness is defined by the smile on your face, not the frown on others.~

I Know what you mean...

When my ex and I split up we were all on my insurance... my ex works for the Federal Government and has REAALLLYYY good benifits, but never "remembered" to bring the paper work over for me to fill out and switch us over to his insurance. Even though it would have saved us $400/ month. Then in the divorce I had it put in there that he provide insurance (I don't ask for child support and insurance for him is only $16.00/ month, that's right SIXTEEN DOLLARS and it is AWESOME insurance!!) It still took him 3 years to get it switched over. So I was paying $400/ month for my girls insurance and not getting any child support from him. L-A-Z-Y!!! I was stupid for not pursueing it with the court... but I was trying to make it a "nice divorce" which for the most part it has been... except when I think about THAT!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~ ; )

I concur! You nailed it

"You never realize how short a month is until you pay child support"

In my EH's case he IS a loser.

I never used the term deadbeat but actually in reality he is. The ONLY reason he kept that job for all those years was because his Union was SOOOO good. His actual boss's tried to get him fired sooo many times
1) He had to go to rehab twice due to instances on the job
2) He totaled 3 cars (that he was supposed to be delivering that belonged to GM while working at the job
3) HE actually SUED his company twice when he got hurt OFF the job but tried to say it was the job.

He has 3 other children with 3 different women and doesn't pay child support for ANY of them. His most recent daughter (who is adorable) was just born last week. HE knew when his girlfriend got pregnant that his job was shutting down. The ONLY reason I get child support is because I went to court finally and had DOR attach his paycheck. I know this because ALL the BM's call me as I'm the only one he'll actually even TALK to on the phone. (I shouldn't but I've always kind of felt bad for him).

He NEVER sees his kids..in fact he told me once that he would sign over all his rights of my BD if I would cease child support.

AND he is on the sexual offender's registry for having sex with a 14 yr old (he was 29)..THAT was when I FINALLY left him for good.

So in this case..I think he could be called a deadbeat
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

I'm not a BM Bashing

my EH on here...or adding drama to his life as a BM.

To add to my story we get along. I get along VERY well with his NEW girlfriend and most recent BM. I get along better with her than him and my BD loves her. I've ALWAYS allowed my EH though to lean on me like a crutch. WHENEVER he has money issues or romance issues - who does he call me! But he has NEVER been a stable figure in our BD's life. He went 2 yrs without seeing her because his X girl would not "let" him drive to see our BD unless I gave him gas $$. He has numerous times told my BD that he would be at our home to pick her up and never showed. His own family admits that he he basically is a "loser" He has had sooo many opportunities to be responsible too and he just doesn't accept them.

I have even let him sleep on my couch before when he has had no where else to go. He has borrowed $$ from my BD when she has gone to visit to buy food.

When she was in 3rd grade he was supposed to meet us at a parent teacher open house night at the school..my daughter was sooo excited..he called at the last minute and said "something came up"..yea a poker game I found out.

I'm tired of him not "manning up" and being an adult in this situation. He has 4 children now that need their father's help. All 4 children were on HIS insurance. If he isn't providing $$ or even seeing them he can at LEAST pick up a phone and call his insurance company to ask for a letter.

"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"

well my BM is a deadbeat

and I don't mind saying it one bit....she ran off to "live her life" does not pay a dime of CS, doesn't talk to her kids, we pay a RIDICULOUS amount per month for health insurance, I contribute financially to the raising of her children...so man or woman...a deadbeat is a deadbeat....and if either sex neglects their responsibility, be it financial, emotional or moral, to the child they created, then in my opinion, they are a deadbeat...

"Sooner or later, everyone's bill comes due"

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