Awful Ugly Text from SD20
This is what it says and all I can really say is Im just speechless:
"Pat yourself on the back. You have successfully torn this family apart because dad wanted things to work and you never gave a Sh*t. You have put an amazing amount of stress on everyone of us and you never even noticed cuz your head's lodged too far up you own a**. I dont know why you act like youre better than everybody else cuz to be better than someone you have to be be good first. And thats difinitely something youre not. You shouldve never married my dad cux you never loved him in the first. You deceived him for your own selfish reasons. You need to stay away from my family and should prob. ask your dad to take care of your kids cuz obviously you cant handle anything. I dont care anything for you and Im sick of having to deal with/hear about all your bullsh*t. Find you another sugar daddy that you can get somthin out of. You get what you give in I dont youve ever truly given your heart in your life. I hope youre never happy. Chances are you wont be.Thats all I have to say to you and ive held it in for what seems to be a lifetime. I advise you not to respond because I wont read it. Youre not worth my time and I dont think things need to get any uglier then youve already made them."
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what did her father have to
say about this? Next month when the divorce is final will he be moving out? I feel so bad for you, but if the divorce happens please get yourself away from all this toxic ugliness. That little beastie will never change & chances are her father won't either.
Hugs!
I know you're going through so much right now
I believe in another post you said you are in the process of divorce with your DH?
And not that it helps at this point, but I would simply forward this to him with the header:
"FYI: a parting 'gift' from your lovely daughter"
She is a horrible, evil person, texting these things to you and I'm very sorry she did this.
It's no wonder, with stepchildren like these, the divorce rate for second+ marriages is so dramatically high.
((((HUGS))))
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
I forwarded it to him..
and I have not received a reply back. I have to say I am honestly speechless and heart broke. SHe has no idea none what so ever what I have gone through with her dad, what we have done for her. I have always sat back like a knot on the log while my MIL ran over me, while the SD's ran over me and I have never stood my ground. I am just heart broken.
My heart breaks FOR you, Sunshine
I fear that one day in the future, I will get a text like this from my own SD (now 16) who blames me for all the problems in her life (and has told her dad so).
I guess us step moms are always the convenient, easy target. I guess it doesn't always help to say, "try not to take it personally."
But it IS true, Sunshine. It's HER problem- not yours.
"Of course things worked out nicely for Carol Brady...she had a live-in maid and Mike's first wife was DEAD!"
.
.
realtor
Send your soon to be former husband an email and tell him that you made the appointment to get that house that she is living in on the market. Also, your H is 50% responsible for this because of all the crap he is blowing up her X when no one is around. or when he thinks no one is around and your daughter hears him. Good Riddance to him and her.
I am so sorry that this girl
I am so sorry that this girl is so heartless and cant keep her comments to her self. Her parents never taught her that if you have nothing nice to say, to not say it at all.
Dont look back once you get free and clear of these people. Their opinions shouldnt matter, they are selfish and spoiled to begin with.
I'm sorry, Sunshine
It takes an ugly heart to say something like that. My advice? Delete it and don't look back. You're leaving anyway, there is no need for you to spend one more moment of your life dealing with her attitude and her stupidity. You've given enough of yourself to that 'family'. I know forgetting about it is impossible, but if you delete it then you can't obsess about it (like I would). How about every time you start to think about it, you can get a little satisfaction out of picturing her anxiously staring at her phone, waiting for your reply. That you don't respond will be torture to someone like that. How seventh grade of her. Little snot.
How horrible!!!!
I'm so sorry she did that. I cant imagine how much that must have hurt...but I'm sure that was it's intended purpose. I would just know that having been w/her for so long, she knows how to push you buttons and was doing it deliberately. She doesn't sound, from what you've blogged about, to be someone who *really* cared about her dad's feelings, etc. She seems to be lashing out at you, unfairly, for what's gone on in your home. It takes two to make a relationship work, and obviously her father is to blame as well...which would by my estimate make 2 failed relationships for him(counting sd's bm)...so I would say the majority of the blame for things would lie with her dad...but kids don't blame the bio parent, only the step.
I guess if you looked at it another way...maybe she is incredibly angry, but maybe that is too because she actually might be upset about your marriage ending. {please dont beat me up people...I'm just trying to look at this in a different light}
Maybe she's just venting her venom on you because she's hurt and whatever?
God bless you for not responding. I would have flipped a bitch and thrown everybody out of my house. I wish I could have even a tiny bit of your patience. Apparently this girl doesn't understand that you really do care(or like I say she is trying to get at you) because if she'd done that to me, her and daddykins would be pushing a shopping cart to their new home on a heating grate under the bridge!
Hugs to you girl. LT
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT..
someone here gave me good advise in reference to my H. Your Sd is Projecting... All these things she is telling you are only a reflection of her.
One can only hope!
Very true!
I was going to say that too. I would not respond to this. If your STBX doesn't respond back and acknowledge it? I would not bring it up again.
Sunshine, I have met you and your generous heart is reflected in your radiant beauty. Do not let this sour, demeaning, angry, unhappy, little girl occupy your mind any longer.
I fully expect to receive something like this from my own SD one day. The only difference will be that by then I know she will have no power over my heart anymore. She's close already, as she has taken to telling every therapist how I am the reason for all evil that exists in her world.
You must not give her any more power. You are a lovely, generous, gracious, and beautiful woman.
I know you. I knew in 2 days what this miserable young woman will likely never see.
HUGS to you. You are stronger than you know. And for the times you can't see that, we will lift you up.
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
I could not have
said it better myself Sita...
We've already talked
and you know that I am thinking of you. I will be calling to check up on you. If you need a break, I am just around the corner or a phone call away. xoxo
how horrible
I really feel for you Sunshine. What a horrible girl. It sounds like you are smart to get away from all of the bull.
It seems, in many cases, that no matter how much you put into a stepfamily you still get treated like an outsider and no one wants to recognize anything positive that you have tried to do. The other side attaches themselves to the negative and the ex-parent. The bios become the heros and you become the evil one. *sigh* It is really tough. I think as step parents we often go into things with open, optomistic hearts and then slowly close ourselves off after being repeatedly stabbed in the heart.
I've learned the hard way myself. Nothing that I do or have done is/was appreciated or even acknowledged. In fact, it is just the opposite. I was accused of of favoritism to my own kids and not doing anything for the steps when it was quite the opposite. I finally gave up. The bios often to try to make everything more advantageous (SP?) for them and play all of the adults involved and then they make you out to be the evil step-parent, even if you are not, so that they can play the "poor me, I am so mistreated" card. The in-laws aren't going to beleive you over their precious bios.
It can be brutal. I have finally just tried to make peace with the fact that there is no family in my home.
"there is no family in my home"
man is that depressing. depressing because I know how you feel down to the last period of your entry. I started out with so much hope and optimism in my heart, thought I could really make a difference. After being wounded time and time again I have slowly closed myself off, shut down emotionally from my skids. My DH now says he does not know if he wants to be married to someone who doesn't like/love his kids. How could I like them after how they treat me?
So my question for you is, is it working? Have you been able to make peace with your situation or are you just slowly dying off inside?
OMG...
"I have finally just tried to make peace with the fact that there is no family in my home."
I think you have in one sentence summed up what most of us have come to realize. I have been so down since SD's new psych visit, that I don't even want to post about it. Because every time a professional acts like there's nothing to be done, like her behavior is "normal" for a teen who's parents fought all the time, who's parents divorced, who's dad remarried a woman with 2 sons, then had another daughter nine months later. Who's mom has chosen to be barely involved in her life, who gets good grades and is athletic. That's all that seems to matter.
Ok...guess I better post it huh. Thanks for inspiration. I think
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
This made my skin scrawl...
Sunshine, when I first met my 5 (almost 6 years ago), his adult Ds hated my guts just because I existed. I used to get these kinds of texts all the time.
I broke off my engagement with him, and he was miserable. It was then that the selfish witches (they wanted to continue to push "daddy" around, and when I came into the picture, I said NO MORE OF THIS....well, they didn't want ME upsetting their apple cart....they treated their BM like shit, too). After a few months, we DID get back together, and the bullshit settled down.
When I joined this SITE and really got a backbone thanks to ALL OF YOU AWESOME PEOPLE, the shit REALLY stopped. They KNOW BETTER NOW than to give me ANY SHIT. In fact, now they want to play "big happy family"...
Yeah, when I DAMNED GOOD AND READY...I'll decide when that day comes. A little "tough love"(eew, I don't know if I mean the love part) never hurt any obnoxious bitch....:)
I don't blame you for getting out though. One can only take so much. My H KNOWS if they EVER give me a hard time again (they are now 30, 29, 26.....), I am GONE. No discussions. No excuses. Just "bye bye dysfuntion."
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Look at it this way
Sunshine I know you are upset by receiving that text message, hell anyone would but just let that text be further confirmation that you need to get away from these people that you have given so much too. Don't be hurt, I think you need to get good and angry. Your a much better person than I am if I had got a text like that from an ADULT I would have told her ass off. I wrote a blog earlier about not having anyone try to blame me for THEIR problems. Hang in there - you will be OKAY.
Obviously your dh is telling
Obviously your dh is telling her things that are none of her business, even if she is an "adult"! I have read that you are getting a divorce and I think that would be wonderful for you, you do not need that in your life. SM's are always made to be the bad guy, with the bp this wonderful thing even if they are the horrible one. I am so sorry for you having to go through this. Hang on and hopefully it will be over soon for you.
Stop making people a priority in your life that only make you an option in theirs! author unknown
It's really hard not to let
It's really hard not to let that get to you. I know that after I received 2 nasty emails from my sd20 last year, I just cut off any contact (after I got over the shock of her rudeness). I don't have to, nor will I EVER, take any more verbal abuse from her again! I am a firm believer in what goes around, comes around. She will get hers soon enough. So, just try to let it be like water off a duck's back! She is immature and needs to learn more about what life is before she can tell you that your selfish and heartless. I think that she needs to take a good long look in the mirror!
You should....
slap a restraining order on her butt! The nerve!
Who cares what she thinks anyway?
I would just keep this in mind for WHEN she asks you for anything in the future. I guess she realizes she will soon be homeless thanks to DH. I bet you will be glad to see the last of them - and please make it the last, don't stay in touch, for a long time anyway! You really, REALLY do not deserve ANY of this treatment, it is completely unhealthy situation.
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
Hey girl....
I am so sorry that they cannot appreciate what you have done for them! I know this WONT help at all, BUT....someday she will realize the horrible tone of her words and regret them. I hope DH jumps her sh*t for it....that was completely uncalled for! I love ya and will be thinkin about ya! call me if you need to!!!!
I am glad you are getting
I am glad you are getting the divorce. Don't worry let these words go and get the divorce finalized. You can then forget they existed and move on with YOUR life.
Last night I went home
to expect that he had moved some things. To only find a receipt that he paid the light bill.
Also I took my dog for a walk as normal and when we come in from walking I always feed her,, her container of dog food was GONE that I just purchased Sunday. Now tell me that the princess SD has not been at the house. My Husband would not of done something so stupid considering since he has been gone, I am taking care of his cat.
And after the whole ordeal with SD20's dog, it just makes sense it was her.
So I moved the key outside and locked the house up tight this morning. I plan on going today for new locks.
That girl SD20 has lit a fire ball and Im just plain pissed off. I hope and pray to never ever see her greety face AGAIN!!
Are you telling me she was
Are you telling me she was in YOUR home after sending that hateful text?? OMG.. I would call the cops on her @ss for trespasing.
Change the locks.. that will be a RIOT!!! then wait for the next text!!