Seems as tho quite a few of the women on here are being pulled into a financial gutter
by either their bf's or h's. Not capitalized, because today h doesn't deserve even that much.
So I got the mail today. Included in the mail was:
a tax form for a distribution he took that I knew nothing of, which will change our taxes substantially
(b) a telephone bill for a number he had 4 years ago, and
(c) a new credit card in his name with a $250.00 limit, for which they are charging him $179.00 to have, leaving him with $71.00 in credit, and he pays them $25.00 a month until the $179.00 is paid :jawdrop:
What the he11-this is the man who swore to me his finances were all cleared up and taken care of because I said I wouldn't marry him until they were?
I actually broke it off with him when we were dating because of his irresponsiblity. Then he went and worked in the oil fields for 2 years, earned big bucks, so I had no reason to doubt him when he said his finances were cleared up. I even helped him get the documents together to file 2006 & 2007 returns, before I would marry him.
What more. What more is there. There's the back income taxes for 02, 03, 04, 05. The 7 years back taxes he owes on his house. There's the lawsuit that was filed against him within two weeks of our marriage from years before.
What more is out there????
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omg dont ask
you might not want to know!
that is so awful for you BW.
Can you call the credit card company and cancel the card? is your name on it?
how much are you going to be responsible for once you do divorce???
I am worried for ya!
"Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without one."
Money is power
AND one of the biggest reasons couples split up.
Your DH has a problem with $ for sure! Hope he has not dragged your reputation down with his (financially speaking of course!)
Couples who are finacially unevenly yoked -ie one of them putting more $ in the relationship creates a lopsided relationship for sure.
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Agree...
I totally agree with "Couples who are finanically unevely yoked-ie one of them putting more $ in the relationship creates a lopsided relationship for sure". When I first met my boyfriend I was certainly not "well off" however, I had recovered from a divorce on my own and was making my bills, living frugile but still able to pay everything and have some extra left over. However, once boyfriend and I started living together and combing resourses I felt the pressure of taking care of everything. He lost his job shortly after we moved in together and I was responsible for paying everthing. Often I wonder if our relationship would be better had we stayed living separate, because sometimes I feel like I resent him for putting us in financial hardship. He is constantly talking about what he used to make which was a lot more than he makes now.
Hey...
I admit that this is sneaky, bearing on 'criminal'...*oopp... I didn't say that." If you're name isn't on anything, but you want info, got a good male friend that can 'play the part?' and write down on a piece of paper important info for him about your DH. Say, a brother, cousin, etc? Have them call on a speaker phone, etc. Call up the credit card company, have him cancel the card, write a follow up letter to make sure it's canceled, etc. Heheheee
"Oh, what was that honey? They did what? Canceled you say? Oh...wow... that's too bad."
Start doin' your own investigation... but then again, that would also mean that your H would never learn or feel repercussions for his decisions. And might enable him to continue to be co-dependent on someone else solving his problems. What a quandary.
OldTimer
"Knowledge is often mistaken for intelligence. This is like mistaking a cup of milk for a cow."
All i can say is ....
oh my goodness. I am not quite sure how i would deal with that situation at all.
Dang.... I would be extremely upset though.
Yes you should try to apply for annullment
the reason is that he never told you about most of his debt, lied (fraud) that his debts were taken care of, and gave you false statements about his children.
The approve or deny it. It is worth a shot.
Again...what state do you
Again...what state do you live in? In CA everything is 50/50...including debt!!
I finally got thru to legal aide today
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
As the attorney I contacted here wanted $5,000 retainer fee, which I do not have. And with no income, I have no resources.
So legal aide said an attorney would be contacting me within 24 hours.
I hate this. I just hate it all.
I had decided to try to make it thru school, the only thing I had left that I feel a passion for. But todays mail pretty much made it obvious what I have to do.
Why would he be applying for a credit card to rebuild his credit score, when he knows he owes those years of back taxes on that house? why would he spend the money on that Bronco-ok, it was $1,000.00, but now he wants to spend another $1,000 having it painted (it was, he told me, a hobby, something to do-how is hiring someone to work on it a hobby?). When that $2,000 would have paid off half of the tax debt on that house?
There's something seriously wrong here. And I can't let a man who treats me like he does take me down the drain with him.
Well, I think KS is the same as far as debt
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
But-his debt would be way prior to our marriage...I don't think they can hold me responsible for the debt he owes for the house that's in his name, that he had years prior to our marriage.
Guess I'll find out.
Yet another reason
to kick this man to the curb. 50/50 I believe applies only to the debt that is accumulated during your marriage not the debt that was his previous to your marriage. BW - you do not know the amount of debt he has occured while you have been married. I would move on sooner rather than later. Good luck when you speak to an attorney. Because you have not even been married a year yet you can be saved from any further mess. Your H is a lying deceitful SOB. I remember in your previous posts how he would get mad at you for spending money on groceries but it is okay for him to spend money on stupid things. He is not even trying to make your marriage work. Keep your chin up - one day this will just be chalked up to a bad experience. How did you know you were going to get a lemon?:)
I think it depends on the state
but in WI is it 50/50 after marriage debt and you get to keep everything you came into the marriage with.
I know somewhat how you feel
my H had a couple years worth of debt when I married him. But it is constantly coming up to bite us in the a**. It seems like every month we are reminded of a debt he owes that is in collections. He owes about $5,000 total now, after 3 months ago we paid off a $2600 one. It is so frustrating, its like we have to pay off all this debt HE incurred and pay monthly CS becuz of HIM. If this debt is not paid off then his credit will continue to suck and we won't be able to buy a house. Which is what I desperately want.
I mean how did he rack up all these bills in just two years in between BM and me? It is outrageous! I take care of the finances now, I am to worried that he will let a lot of this go. We don't have credit cards, and WILL NOT after all the debt we have to pay off now. $5 grand my not seem like a lot to some people but to us it is. It would be easier to pay down if he didn't have to pay $8 grand a year in CS. I did know about the debt before we were married and I did know about the CS payments BUT it is still very upsetting to put my dreams on hold becuz of he actions. He is not like your H, in the way that he continues to rack up debt. He has not incurred any additional debt since we have been together. I am thankful for that after reading what your soon to ex did/is doing to you.
This is why I won't marry my bf
This is the reason why I will not marry my bf. Then again, I will not pay his child support either, or any of his bills. I have 3 of my own children to support and I *get* child support. He moved in with me with me a few years ago, I was so gaga in love and he was so handsome! but now a few years later, ya, he still is a wonderful guy but same money issues, he's a self employed carpenter, has 3 kids to support. He has no health insurance, didn't pay back taxes. (His ex did all of of that for him). We deserve more than this ladies! I want him to move out and we can just date, and i'm working on that. Good luck to all of you.