this SD that's causing all this havoc now?

A few things that you cannot have a marriage and do,

1. Anything with money and not tell the other person.

2. Tell the SK's to not tell the evil step mom.

3. Let yours, or his, parents get so involved in your life that they cause you problems. The first time my MIL sits with the x is the last time her and I will speak, especially if it's only to piss me off and not because she really misses her ya know.

4. Let the kids get away with just seeing the bio parent, and it being okay to exclude the Step parent, unless that's the way the step parent wants it to.

I don't think he's scared of his daughter, to be perfectaly blunt I think he's much more concerned with her feelings than yours. You've allowed this type of behavior for so long he has no intention of changing it.

My SD will NOT come into my house and disrespect anyone, including my son or daughter. And the excuse of she's a bitch but what do you want me to do......Beat her ass, that's what. I know some don't believe in corporal discipline, so if you don't beat her ass, put her in the corner until she can't stand there anymore. Whatever, but do SOMETHING.

I don't mean to be harsh on you at all, I promise. But how on Earth can you let this continue for so long and not put your foot down?

Sister you better not just put that foot down, but put it down so hard it shakes the house and shakes so hard the in laws and SD feel it.

They, and by they I mean all of the kids, should not be allowed in one anothers room period unless the kid who's room it is wants them in there and is present.

House Rules.

Go to wal mart and get a poster board and make it nice and bright so everyone can see SM's rules of the house.

I feel the winds of change.

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

You've got alot on your plate, I can only offer up sympathy.

Many of us on here do not get the support and backing from our husband's. And I don't know how to force it, except saying start acting like a husband and a REAL father (instead of overindulging and spoiling his D), or get the he-- out. And I'm not prepared to do that just yet. I suspect my H also gives SD17 money that I am not aware of, and that he has kept alot of secrets (plans, if you will) between himself, SD17 & BM, so lying to me by omission. And with my volitile H, rather than a total confrontation, which would probably lead to us splitting, I've decided to just watch for awhile. And hope SD17 meets some guy at college and runs off far far away with him.

I can only suggest that, since you've been married for several years, you step in and discipline if he will not. You cannot manage 5 kids with no discipline. Impossible. I could not tolerate a situation where my children were being treated badly in their own home.

How is your child with the cancer? Surely this situation is not helping her.