This woman is unbelievable and the lengths she is going to are reprehensible. I am so sorry for you and your husband. I don't know what to say....

Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. - George Carlin

I too was going to suggest that your dh sit down w/ss and say, You know I love you and that you can tell me ANYTHING. I promise I will not get mad, I want you to feel that you can share your feelings and anything w/me.

If ss still doesnt say anything, then perhaps the prompting like vick said.. but I wouldnt necessarily say it was what bm said, but rather prompting questions based on her allegations. like...

ss how do you feel about our weekends together?
ss do you feel stressed about coming to our home on the weekends?
ss how were you feeling last night? and today? (to find out why he didnt go to school)
ss did you want to go to school today?

Things like that..

are you sure your BM is not mine? My first question is what does a 10 year old truly know about a bond and what it means? I mean yeah he has a bond but he does not know what it means or what it means to have one severed. Our BM does the same thing and says that SS is afraid to tell his dad how he feels cause he will get mad and that he tells her all about how he feels. She also says that he does the crying and crap when it is our weekend and then when SS finally gets here he is so far up his dad's tail end all I get are his toes to love on. My SS just turned 8 this last Monday and I know for a fact that he has no idea what a bond is and what severing it means like you and I as adults do. I would of course keep all of those emails. Have ya'll shown the emails to SS? and how funny she wants your BF to ask SS via email how he is feeling...hmmm maybe so she can be the one to respond. Another thing your BM does and mine does too is this forced visitation thing and I will say it like my H says it "I am his daddy and I do not care if you do not like it or he does not like it but he is coming to see me when it is my time it is not up to him to decide he is a child" I do not think it is until they are 15 in TN that the child can decide what visitation time they desire to have with the NCP. Hasn't your SS before shown interest in you having the baby and being at the ultra sounds etc? No doubt your SS may some of those things to his mom b/c that is what she wants to hear and he does it to keep peace with her when he is with her but is the other way around when with ya'll. My SS does this as he has never seen his mother so angry about something as she is when she hears his dad's name. My ss is not allowed to mention our name at her home. Anyway your SS as mine knows that their mom's have issues/problems/are psycho whatever you want to call it and they do not like that part of their mom but they still love them and do not want to see them hurt especially by them and if they show love and affection for dad then mom might hate me like she hates my dad(maybe that is more in my case) anyway I say yes those emails are her thoughts and her way of seeing things and trying to guilt your BF that he is making his son sick. I am so sorry for ya'll especially your SS. He loves his mom and his dad but mom wants him to choose just like our BM and darn her for that... do you hear me darn her!

I'm not sure if you have had a chance to check out the links that crayon posted but here's a quote from one of them that sounds EXACTLY like your situation.

"In severe cases of parent alienation, the child is utterly brain- washed against the alienated parent. The alienator can truthfully say that the child doesn't want to spend any time with this parent, even though he or she has told him that he has to, it is a court order, etc. The alienator typically responds, "There isn't anything that I can do about it. I'm not telling him that he can't see you."

I think your DH should suggest counseling to the BM and see how she reacts.

how exactly does a kid taht age know that theres a court order that they have to follow in terms of visitation??? not only are those not his words, but even if they were, its all predicated by the lies that BM has todl him and the way too much info hes gotten.

i really feel sorry for this kid. i agree w the others...therapy is needed. someone needs to see what BM is doing who is able to change it. good luck.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

Okay what does a 10 yr old know about a "stress headache" maybe he didn't feel like going to school one day and BM said OH I BET YOU HAVE A STRESS HEADACHE FROM BEING FORCED TO SEE YOUR DAD! and he said yup, that's it, wanting to stay home. Whaa laa, child home from school whenever he feels like it, and BM lapping it up. It's not SS's fault, sometimes kids do this stuff to get their own way...

And what 10 yr old talks about severed relationships???? PUHLEEZE.

I think this kid just wants the two of them to get along, and that ain't going to happen, but he's still trying to keep everyone happy. What about the three of them sit down and talk? Or even with a counselor? I don't care what BM thinks about him not needing a counselor, it's BS that both communication from SS and the counselor come through her self serving filter. I wouldn't believe a word about any of it.

from my SD, the reason we're going through it all....:
o, btw, my dad and *northernsiren* are the best family a girl(and boy) could ever hope for. Thank you for helpping me through these hard times.

He's 10.. he's not worried about court orders, and I also agree with the girls, what would he know about a stress headache? Sounds like BM is most likely putting things in his little head and tying to make your DH feel/look like the bad guy here. I feel for you, we get this type of thing a lot from BM about SD. It's a load of BS! Not sure if this would help you at all, but this is what we did. BF told BM we are following court orders, on his weeks or weekends, skids are to be here. Period. Unless SD had plans with friends, she stayed with us. Eventually BM let up a bit and the emails like this are far and few. I'd say have DH get SS and it is a good idea to at least talk to SS, maybe a bit of father/son time? Have lunch or something and just openly talk about feelings. But again, he's 10, and I seriously doubt he's feeling the way BM is making it out to be, especially if everything is great during visits. Don't let her get to you guys.. that's what BMs like her strive on! Good luck!

Some things she said in the email caught my attention....

"I've expained that it's a topic that I really can't discuss with you on his behalf because you'll think I'm just making it up"

BAM! There it is....parental alienation! Why would she tell SS something like that, he's 10 for crying out loud! She is making your DH out to be the bad guy here, playing your SS against him!

"He commented last night that his relatioship with you had been nearly severed but that now he felt it was completely severed. SS has also mentioned that he doesn't want your daughter with Nymh to have to go through what he's been going through."

I say bullcrap! A 10 year old does not talk like this and now she is using your baby in her sick little game.

This is something my skids BM would do and it just burns my butt to no end the lengths these women will go to!

Your DH needs to take action against this witch! I think the first step would be to get SS in to therapy. If she refuses then you know she is aware that she is screwing with this child's mind and is afraid it will come out. I feel very badly for your SS. This woman is emotionally and mentally damaging him You guys need to do everything in your power to stop her. I definitely would not give up the weekend visitations.

Nymh,

The XW is obviously manipulating. The thoughts and words she claims come from the child are not the thoughts and words of a 10yo.

Stress Headaches????? More like a mother induced pain in the ass if I had to guess. Is she a medical professional? If not then she has no ability to diagnose the cause of a headache.

I would firmly recommend that your DH not correspond with the XW by e-mail at all. The e-mails that she has sent are great fodder to present to the court showing her manipulative behavior and are strong evidence of Parental Alienation that IMHO is being perpetrated by the XW against your DH and his child.

Your DH should be absolutely firm that visitation will occur as ordered. If the young man is in fact (with I believe is so unlikely as to be non existent) upset about comming to visit Dad the only way to build the relationship is to consistently invest the time required to build the relationship. The feelings will follow the actions. Eventually even a 10yo will figure out that Mom is the issue and not Dad.

It appears that whatever custody action your DH has initiated is certainly getting the XW's attention. As a firm believer that people react to that which is uncomfortable I believe that the custody action is threatening the XW in some way and it may not be a bad time for your husband to sit down with the XW and let her know that her efforts to interfere with the boys relationship with his Dad could result in her loosing custody and that DH has every intention of taking whatever action is necessary to protect the relationship between he and his son.

Just my thoughts of course.

Good luck and best regards,